PARADOXICAL

The faith chronicles

Thursday, August 03, 2006

 

Love the children


Y. is someone who has been hurt so early in life, hurt by the very people who ought to love him: his parents. He suspects that he had been suffering even before he was born. An unwanted child, he was conceived in hate, thus he was born to so much anguish and sorrow. But like a flower arising from a rubble, to borrow a metaphor, his deep-seated hurts are not without their sweet fruits. Here they are.

1. Never say a word or do an action that would make a child feel rejected or humiliated - especially in front of other people.
2. Never nip in the bud a child's talent; instead give him words of encouragement.
3. Admonish consistently but gently, lovingly; spare the rod.
4. Never leave your child to people with shady (especially sexual) character; a sheltered life in the formative years is a must.
5. Don't suffer the child in poverty; give the child everything he/she needs.
6. Affirm your love, with articulation, saying it verbally and audibly.
7. Never compare a child with another, especially within his/her earshot. Each child is unique.
8. Acknowledge if a child has a special need and act on it immediately.
9. Never dictate to a child what he/she should like or dislike, if it's just a matter of personal taste. Don't answer life's questions for him/her; he/she needs to find it out for himself/hersel.
10. Give a good example. Practice what you preach.

"Welcome every child into this world with love and affection, respect, and good counsel," Y. advises. "Never venture into child-bearing, much less child-rearing, if you are not ready or qualified."

6.1997


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