PARADOXICAL

"Panunumpa"

2012-02-14T03:23:00.001-08:00

"Dahil Mahal Kita"

2012-02-14T03:22:00.001-08:00

Nouwen: Hell is logical

2011-12-15T03:30:00.001-08:00

The Good News of Hell

Is there a hell? The concepts of heaven and hell are as intimately connected as those of good and evil. When we are free to do good, we are also free to do evil; when we can say yes to God's love, the possibility of saying no also exists. Consequently, when there is heaven there also must be hell.

All of these distinctions are made to safeguard the mystery that God wants to be loved by us in freedom. In this sense, strange as it may sound, the idea of hell is good news. Human beings are not robots or automatons who have no choices and who, whatever they do in life, end up in God's Kingdom. No, God loves us so much that God wants to be loved by us in return. And love cannot be forced; it has to be freely given. Hell is the bitter fruit of a final no to God.

Nouwen on the dynamics of will and grace

2011-12-14T20:32:00.003-08:00

Heaven and Hell

Is everybody finally going to be all right? Are all people ultimately going to be free from misery and all their needs fulfilled? Yes and no! Yes, because God wants to bring us home into God's Kingdom. No, because nothing happens without our choosing it. The realisation of the Kingdom of God is God's work, but for God to make God's love fully visible in us, we must respond to God's love with our love.

Vanier on the darkness of the hidden false self

2011-12-12T15:41:00.001-08:00

Things I Don't Want to Know

I discovered something which I had never confronted before, that there were immense forces of darkness and hatred within my own heart. At particular moment of fatigue or stress, I saw forces of hate rising up inside me, and the capacity to hurt someone who was weak and was provoking me! That, I think, was what caused me the most pain: to discover who I really am, and to realize that maybe I did not want to know who I really was! I did not want to admit all the garbage inside me. And then I had to decide whether I would just continue to pretend that I was okay and throw myself into hyperactivity, projects where I could forget all the garbage and prove to others how good I was.

- Jean Vanier, From Brokenness to Community, p.19

Vanier on the harms of looking good

2011-12-12T00:48:00.001-08:00

Behind the Need to Win

As I began living with people like Raphael and Philip, I began to see all the hardness of my heart. It is painful to discover the hardness in one's heart. Raphael and the others were crying out simply for friendship and I did not quite know how to respond because of the other forces within me, pulling me to go up the ladder. But over the years, the people I live with in L'Arche have been teaching and helping me.

They have been teaching me that behind the need for me to win, there are my own fears and anguish, the fear of being devalued or pushed aside, the fear of opening up my heart and of being vulnerable or of feeling helpless in front of others in pain; there is the pain and brokenness of my own heart.

- Jean Vanier, From Brokenness to Community, p.18

Vanier on elitism

2011-12-12T00:47:00.001-08:00

Our Elitism as Enemy

Elitism is the sickness of us all. We all want to be on the winning team. That is at the heart of apartheid and every form of racism. The important thing is to become conscious of those forces in us and to work at being liberated from them and to discover that the worst enemy is inside our own hearts not outside!

- Jean Vanier, From Brokenness to Community, p.19

Nouwen on utopia

2011-12-12T00:46:00.001-08:00

Energizing Visions

Are the great visions of the ultimate peace among all people and the ultimate harmony of all creation just utopian fairy tales? No, they are not! They correspond to the deepest longings of the human heart and point to the truth waiting to be revealed beyond all lies and deceptions. These visions nurture our souls and strengthen our hearts. They offer us hope when we are close to despair, courage when we are tempted to give up on life, and trust when suspicion seems the more logical attitude. Without these visions our deepest aspirations, which give us the energy to overcome great obstacles and painful setbacks, will be dulled and our lives will become flat, boring, and finally destructive. Our visions enable us to live the full life.

Blasted from the past

2011-12-11T06:26:00.000-08:00

Something unexpected zapped me today to a different time zone: the distant past. I was shopping at the Landmark for a new plaid polo for our cowboy-themed company Christmas party when i noticed a face in the shopping mall crowd that looked vaguely familiar: one of the editors in my first job.

My first writing job was both thrilling and traumatic. Looking back, it was my initiation into both the BPO or outsourced world and the writing world. The office in Salcedo Village, Makati impressed me as spiffy enough and high-tech. Very few people passed the battery of entrance tests on vocabulary and writing, or so i was told, and so when i made it, i felt so proud and accomplished, together with my co-workers who i found to be very exciting: a women's magazine writer, two Ateneans who had lived in the United States, a Hawaiian English major, and a smart though sickly UST grad. But when the time came to deliver actual work, i felt like rubbish. The abstracts i wrote based on foreign English journal and magazine articles were extensively revised that i felt lacerated. I felt so humiliated that i had to dig the ground to recover my pride. After merely two months, i was fired, and rudely too, because the letter of termination was delivered by email.

I was just getting started, starting off on a rainbow of bright hope, and now I was jobless. I didn’t know what to do. I went back to my cousin’s rented apartment, the place i stayed in the city temporarily, and was greeted by the confirmation of my 'bad luck' in this deceptively happy-sounding song by Mariah Carey titled "Make It Happen." It that went this way: "Not more than three short years ago/i was abandoned and alone/without a penny to my name/so very young and so afraid/no proper shoes upon my feet/sometimes i couldn’t eat./ i often cried myself to sleep./but i gotta keep on going/never knowing/if i could take it/if i could make it through the night./I know life can be so tough/and you feel like giving up...."

The nightmare, long-forgotten, suddenly flashed back. I was shaken, my gait suddenly feeling unbalanced. I tried to find a corner where i could recover. I stopped by Fruit Magic at the basement food court and ordered a “Body Cleanser” juice for detox.

When i came to, i realized i had been deeply hurt and i had repressed the pain through the years. I wondered how i survived carrying all that anger and hatred in my heart for so long. And as it turns out, i might have been writing partly (or largely) to prove to these people that i can write.

And now i was faced with the task of forgiving a whole bunch of people: at least three editors i felt were ruthless and hated me. I had to talk to myself in my heart just to sort things out, to winnow the strains of thought in my head to separate the toxic from the true.

"But i have proven myself!," went the debate in my head. "I was able to get a lot of articles published in newspapers and magazines. I’ve proven myself many times over."

"And if i’m not that good as a writer, so what? It won’t affect who i am and how much i am worth. (Come to think of it, I wasn’t even aiming for the best, originally. I merely wanted to be able to write passably, that’s all. I distinctly remember a time when i couldn’t even write a single coherent essay. Honestly, i don’t have any ambition of joining the Palanca Awards, for fear of winning, which is sure to only boost my already big ego. Maybe i'll give writing workshops a try, though i’m too old for those, even as it will surely appeal to my masochist side.)

["Oh, but it was so hurtful!" whispered the horned angel to my left.]

"But did they mean it?" I told the devil.

["I think not."]

"So what if they did, and so what if XXX, the main editor, was indeed mean? It spoke more about her character than mine."

["I still hate them. They were a bunch of puffed-up frogs who mistake themselves for God."]

"But i forgive them. I know i must, for i must have hurt people the same way too with the ruthless way i edited their work."

[You don't have to forgive.]

"Besides, i find writing now more enjoyable and inspiring and energizing than exhausting and ennervating."

[Go humor yourself.]

"Still i want to make sure that, from hereon in, i will be writing not to prove something, but because i want to write."

[You kidding me?]

The former editor, now looking gaunt and tired, for which i felt vindicated somewhat, seemed to avoid my gaze after i caught sight of him. In case i see him again next time, i’d like to give at least a slight smile of recognition, my way of giving him amnesty.

For all i knew, they didn’t mean anything other than correcting some really lousy work, not fixing a lousy person as i erroneously thought i was.

In the next few minutes, I was reminded of all other names in my forgiveness list: another former boss who reneged on a promise, a cousin's ex who threatened me, a former superior and her allies for treating me and others badly -- who else?

You know what? I can’t forgive right now. Not all of them in one go, anyway. I mean, i decide to do it right now, but my heart remains inflamed with hurt. I believe I have the right to be hurt. I certainly need more time to heal. I guess I can only forgive fully one person and event at a time.

“Blast from the past” -- I think I know now what the expression means."

"The world is not our enemy but our wayward child or friend"

2011-11-25T19:34:00.000-08:00

EMPATHY FOR THE WORLD

by Fr Ron Rolheiser, O.M.I.
There's a story told, more legend perhaps than fact, about a mayor of a large American city in the late 1960s. It wasn't a good time for his city: It was facing financial bankruptcy, crime rates were spiraling, its public transportation system was no longer safe at night, the river supplying its drinking water was dangerously polluted, the air was rife with racial tension, and there were strikes and street protests almost weekly.
As the story goes, the mayor was flying over the city in a helicopter at rush hour on a Friday afternoon. As the rush-hour bustle and traffic drowned out most everything else, he looked down at what seemed a teeming mess and said to one of his aides: "Wouldn't it be nice if there was plunger and we could flush this whole mess into the ocean!"
He was being facetious, but I worry that we sometimes subtly think the same thing about our world. Too often we and our churches tend to see the world precisely as a mess, as caught up in mindless trivialization, as self-indulgent, as narcissistic, as short-sighted, as no longer having values that demand self-sacrifice, of worshipping fame, of being addicted to material goods, and of being anti-church and anti-Christian. Indeed, it is common today in our churches to see the world as our enemy.
And, far from feeling heartbroken about it, we feel smug and righteousness as we gleefully witness its downfall: The world is getting what it deserves! Godlessness is its own punishment! That's what it gets for not listening to us! In this, our attitude is the antithesis of Jesus' attitude towards the world.
Jesus loved the world. Really? Yes. Is this what the Gospels teach? Yes.
Here's how the Gospels describe Jesus' reaction towards the world that rejected him: As Jesus drew near to Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it saying: "If you, even you, had only recognized on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes." Jesus sees what happens when people try to live without God, the mess, the pain, the heartbreak, and, far from rejoicing that the world isn't working, his heart aches with empathy: If only you could see what you're doing!
Looking at a world that's breaking down because of its self-absorption, Jesus responds with empathy, not glee; with understanding, not judgment; with heartache, not rubbing salt in the wounds; and with tears, not good riddance.
Loving parents and loving friends understand exactly what Jesus was feeling at the moment when he wept over Jerusalem. What frustrated, heartbroken parent hasn't looked at a son or daughter caught up in wrong choices and self-destructive behavior and wept inside as the words spontaneously formed: If only you could see what you're doing! If only I could do something to spare you the damage you're doing to your life by this blindness! If only you could recognize the things that make for peace! But you can't see, and it breaks my heart!
The same is true among friends. True friends don't rejoice and become gleeful when their friends make bad choices and their lives begin to collapse. Instead there are tears, mingled with anxious empathy, with heartache, with pleading, with prayers. Genuine love is empathic and empathy is never gleeful at someone else's downfall.
We are asked by our Christian faith to have a genuine love for the world. The world isn't our enemy. It's our wayward child and our loved friend who is breaking our heart. That can be hard to see and accept when in fact the world is often belligerent and arrogant in its attitude towards us, when it's angry with us, when it wrongly judges us, and when it scapegoats us. But that's exactly what suffering children often do to their parents and friends when they make bad choices and suffer the consequences of that. They impute and scapegoat. This can feel very unfair to us, but Jesus attitude towards those who rejected and crucified him invites us to an empathy beyond that.
Kathleen Norris suggests that we look at the world, when it opposes us, in the same way as we look at an angry 17 year-old girl dealing with her parents. At that moment of anger, her parents become a symbolic lightening rod (a safe place) for her to vent her anger and to scapegoat. But absorbing this is a function of adult loving. Good parents don't respond to the anger of an adolescent child by declaring her their enemy. They respond like Jesus did, by weeping over her.
Moreover a genuine empathy for the world isn't just predicated on mature sympathy. Mature sympathy is itself predicated on better seeing the world for what it is. The 17 year-old adolescent standing belligerent and angry before her parents isn't a bad person, she's just not yet fully grown up.
That's true too for our world: It's not a bad place; it's just far from being a finished and mature one.

Txt msgs

2011-11-24T21:15:00.000-08:00

Lord, tinatanggap ko na saan mo man ako dalhin, yun ang pinakamainam na lugar para sa akin, at hindi mo ako iiwan. Sinabi ni Yahweh kay Abram, lisanin mo ang iyong bayan, ang tahanan ng iyong ama at mga kamaganak, at pumuta ka sa bayang ituturo ko sa iyo. Gen 12: 1
God’s plan is always best, sometimes the process is painful and hard, but don’t forget when God is silent. He is doing something best for you surprisingly.
God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say. Yes, to be sure. But he does what is still more wonderful: He makes saints out of sinners. –Soren Kierkegaard
Worry comes from dwelling on ourselves and our problems instead of God and His solutions. We need to be Christ-centered instead of problem-centered. Ed Hindson
Great is the person who does not show hatred over what is lost, but instead, shows gratefulness over what is left.
Whatever the reason for your broken intimacy with God, there is good news. Jesus waits to embrace you now in the arms of unconditional divine love. Charles Stanley
Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious don’t live at all. – Princess Diaries
Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will.
Happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we don’t have. – Frederick Koenig
Your greatest fulfillment in life will come when you discover our unique gifts and abilities and use them to edify others and glorify the Lord. Neil T. Anderson
Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful. Just live each day with pure honesty and good intentions, and god will reward you with many blessings.
Be on your guard against all kinds of greed. A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. Lk 12:15
There are times when we never searched, but we discovered; we never wished but our desire was granted; we never asked but we got an answer, and we never wanted but we were showered with his blessings. Let us thank the Lord for seeing beyond our needs and desires.
If God solves your problem, you have faith in His abilities. If god doesn’t solve your problem, he has faith in your abilities.
Tough times are like physical exercise. You may not like it while you are doing it, but tomorrow you will be stronger because of it.
God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him. Jim Elliot
Oftentimes we need to pray not because we need to change the situation but because we need God to change our attitude about the situation.
Possibility thinking faith tears down the walls, impossibility builds the walls.
I don’t know what your destiny will be but one thing I do know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve. Albert Schweitzer
Don’t wait. Get right with God today. Woodrow Kroll
If we really believe in God’s constant forgiveness, then we must hold the truth that every moment, God calls us to forgive ourselves and those who sin against us.
No words could describe the overwhelming joy that reconciliation brings. This is exactly how joyful God feels when we find our way back to him. That is how important each person is to God.
Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute way, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, what you know that breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything. Pedro Arrupe, SJ
God calls each one of us by name. Our name is sacred. It is our icon. For our name expresses our essence, identity and life. Ccc 203.2185
Challenges in life come in 3 broad categories: easy, difficult, and impossible. Those who take only the easy have a safe and boring life. Those who take the difficult are tough and have a sense of fulfillment. But those who take the impossible inspire others that it can be done.

Inconstant man, everlasting God

2011-11-18T13:58:00.001-08:00

Man is truly irrational. What’s worse, his mind is dependent on his feelings. It is, therefore, not surprising to see men saying one thing and doing another.

In that regard, I am still a normal human being then. I just came from a worship session, when I felt down for some mysterious reason. Why this? I asked myself, though I was not surprised at all. I’ve been through this a hundred times before. Yet the inconstancy still bothers me. Something after the feeling of high must have triggered me again. I knew I’d be gripped by self-analysis and possibly “analysis paralysis” any moment.

I’ll let the trigger of my sorrow a mystery for now, but there is another mystery to be resolved here: where did that irrational joy during worship come from? I myself was surprised. Considering the many things I had been going through that I could exploit as a reason to be depressed, I still managed to give my all in praising and worshiping God in song. There’s a psalm that says, “Worship the Lord in Spirit and truth.” It sounds abstract to the outsider, but to me, I understood what it means. It means worshiping God with all my heart, all my soul, all my strength – who cares who I am, who I have been, and what my troubles are?

I think this is where that mysterious mirth is coming from then: it didn’t come from me, for where in the depths of my corruption would I have the wherewithal to give my everything like that? It could only come from outside myself, outside my own effort, power, energy. It was a gift granted to me. It as pure grace! What made it fall from heaven and come down into my lap is my faith, my belief that it would be given me despite myself, my trust that God’s goodness and love know no bounds, and my sins and feelings of unworthiness won’t be a stumbling block for the outpouring. All I had to do is choose to believe and act according to that choice.

I was supposed to be energized by that soon after, and I was, but still, it didn’t prevent me from entering darkness and feeling down once again. As long as I am alive, I will probably be seized by dark thoughts and feelings. But who cares if I can ask for the gift again and again? That thought is enough to make me want to bounce back again and again too, and by God, I will.
Life will always be a roller-coaster for me -- there’s no telling what mood I would be in hereon in -- but I can always rely on God to be the one constant, no matter how I think and feel at the moment.

Small but important

2011-10-09T01:56:00.001-07:00

Personal Growth

It takes time to grow to a maturity of the heart. ... Little by little, as we live and work with others, especially if we are well-guided, we learn to break out of the shell of selfishness and self-centredness where we seek to be brilliant and to prove our goodness, wisdom and power. We receive and give the knocks of life. We all have to discover that there are others like us who have gifts and needs; no one of us is the centre of the world. We are a small but important part in our universe. We all have a part to play. We need one another.

- Jean Vanier, Becoming Human, pp. 58-59

A new beginning

2011-10-05T19:03:00.001-07:00

"Deep within my soul/I can sense the change/Glory to glory once again!"

- from "A New Beginning" in the play Joseph the Dreamer

It's that time of life once again that the Lord is calling me to another new phase. I don't know what it is but I am excited. Although the excitement is tinged with fear, I trust that the Lord in his love for me will bring me to what is best. Amen!

Letter to God

2011-10-05T02:44:00.000-07:00

(Or doing the empty chair technique with God)

Help me to love my family right this time, Lord. Help me to accept in love the father, the mother, and the siblings you’ve given me. They are highly flawed people, just like me, imperfectly loved, so imperfectly loving. But you gave them all to me as gifts, each one a valuable treasure that fits my own needs. You placed them in my life to teach me a lesson. They came exactly as I needed them, to grow, to learn to love.

I realize all the sacrifice I did for them was out of love. Help me to forgive myself and love myself right as well. I am not as bad and selfish as I thought I was. All the things that I did for my family was out my great love for them. Alas, it has been tainted by my great need to be loved. I felt, wrongly, that I was empty without that love, not knowing I was loved after all, though not in the manner I had expected. I assumed, wrongly, that I could get all the love I needed from mere humans. I never thought that I was already whole and complete when I was born because I have you; you were there from the start. You are the one who made me, after all.

I guess I was too young to know that I should strike a balance between loving myself and loving others. In loving others through my family, I forgot myself. I neglected my own neediness, unable to express it. What I got instead was layers of resentment that I bottled up for years. All that is gone now, for whether or not I was indeed abused or whether or not my boundaries for healthy self-love violated, I had a hand in it through my wrong choices. A big part of it was self-inflicted.

But I forgive myself for that as well. I was, after all, too young to see those things. I was bound to stumble and fall, so I could learn my lessons and grow from there, to sort out what went wrong from what went right.

This time, Lord, teach me to love right. Teach me to love my father, my mother, my siblings, myself, and the world beyond my family in the right way – balanced, mutually giving and taking freely out of love, respectful of boundaries, anticipating each other’s needs and wants, and without a taint of selfishness.

The balance of give and take is key, not to keep tabs of each other’s contribution in the love equation but out of freedom of choice as the situation calls for it, driven by one’s generosity of heart.

Banish from me all the fallen desires of the ego, Lord, so that I can learn to love and serve the ultimate being deserving of that love: You.

And the Lord said:

Don’t be too hard on yourself, son. I love you. I see everything. I know your heart. Beneath your flaws, you are a good man. I believe in you. Trust me that I am there right in the middle of your pain. I will continue healing you. I will heal your relationships. I will help you in your many earthly trials. I will refresh you after the afflictions that I have allowed in your life so you’d learn. Know that I do everything out of love, not in anger, hate, or punishment. I don’t love as men do. Have faith: believe in me that my love for you is greater than all human loves combined. Nothing can outdo the goodness and generosity of God.

Not mine

2011-10-01T17:10:00.003-07:00

The gifts bestowed on me are not mine, not for my own personal glory, not to feed my hungry ego, but to be in service of God and His people.

Not mine

2011-10-01T17:10:00.001-07:00

The gifts bestowed on me are not mine, not for my own personal glory, not to feed my hungry ego, but to be in service of God and His people.

Creation was made for man but I don't own it

2011-09-23T04:23:00.003-07:00

Nice insight today from HJMN

Friday September 23, 2011

The Sacredness of God's Handiwork

How do we live in creation? Do we relate to it as a place full of "things" we can use for whatever need we want to fulfill and whatever goal we wish to accomplish? Or do we see creation first of all as a sacramental reality, a sacred space where God reveals to us the immense beauty of the Divine?

As long as we only use creation, we cannot recognise its sacredness because we are approaching it as if we are its owners. But when we relate to all that surrounds us as created by the same God who created us and as the place where God appears to us and calls us to worship and adoration, then we are able to recognise the sacred quality of all God's handiwork.

Creation was made for man but I don't own it

2011-09-23T04:23:00.001-07:00

Rich and poor

2011-09-21T16:28:00.000-07:00

I like a Church document's phrasing on the Church's teaching re rich and (not vs) poor:

"That no one is so rich as to have nothing to receive, nor anyone so poor as to have nothing to give."

I need my playground back

2011-09-21T05:36:00.003-07:00

Rough draft

At this point in my life, I can see plainly how I have deprived myself of play. When I was a child, I thought play was everything. Now as a mature man, I sense a need for me to go back to that time when play was the essence of my being. Play may no longer be everything to me now, but it still is necessary. I didn’t know that before until I got sick of working and working with no play.

Life should be fun and relaxing, at least after all the toiling. From time to time, I need to take to the swing, the see-saw, the slide, and the monkey bars of my childhood.

God himself set aside the seventh day for rest and recreation, re-setting and re-creation. Why should we mere creatures be any different?

The fervid quest for truth

2011-09-21T05:35:00.001-07:00

Rough draft

Ah, truth! What is truth? Can anyone lay claim to it?

Zeal for truth could mean being fired up by the Holy Spirit.

What is my truth? Is it being kindled by that fire? Why am I so obsessed with truths and untruths? What I am trying to prove?

For so long, these questions have been haunting my mind as I go on a quest to uncover the ugly politicking of truth in so many areas of life.

Have I been lied to, that is why I am so driven? Yes! I was lied to by the Marcos regime. I was brainwashed by almost everyone around me that I became a rabid Marcos loyalist – at least in my limited capacity as a gradeschooler and high schooler. I can’t blame them, though. They themselves must have thought to be true what they were thinking to be gospel-truth.

But I was shamed when other people confronted me with other truths, truths that were so hard to rebut because they were obviously true. I was traumatized by what I considered to be a big embarrassment, a major slap by the universe, more so because of the arrogant insistence that I alone was right.

I was doused by the cold water of realizing I was not so smart, after all. I thought it was so humiliating because if I was not so smart, which is the last thread of pride I held on to, then I would be no good, I would be nothing.

But I realize it’s okay not to be so smart. A lot of people who style themselves as the savior of the world in terms of intellect, who derive their meaning from an intelligence that is not even theirs to begin with, can be equally laughably wrong as I was. I am glad I can easily forgive them as well, for I can easily see myself in them and in their folly. Just like I was, they will never see how disastrous it all is until it is too late. Maybe they are so proud and arrogant like me, and they need that major bashing to wake them up from delusion. Maybe that’s how they should be in their own journey to discovering the real truth – unless they vowed utter devotion to willful lies.

Which voice are we listening to?

2011-09-19T01:54:00.001-07:00

Alfie: "To whose voice are we listening? 'The sheep knows the voice of the shepherd.'”

The Lord's message yesterday

2011-09-17T23:17:00.001-07:00

He wants you. No one can take your place.

Fwd: A Real Friend

2011-09-15T03:41:00.001-07:00

A Real Friend

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in their address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

A simple friend reads this verse and forgets it.
A real friend copies it and sends it back to you.

Happy endings are not the point

2011-09-14T02:29:00.000-07:00

The Lord didn't promise happy endings or happy ever afters on earth. But of course, we can pray for one. It's a big bonus if the wish is granted, but if not, it's not the end of the world.

-----------------------

Wednesday September 14, 2011

Remaining Faithful

Many people live with the unconscious or conscious expectation that eventually things will get better; wars, hunger, poverty, oppression, and exploitation will vanish; and all people will live in harmony. Their lives and work are motivated by that expectation. When this does not happen in their lifetimes, they are often disillusioned and experience themselves as failures.

But Jesus doesn't support such an optimistic outlook. He foresees not only the destruction of his beloved city Jerusalem but also a world full of cruelty, violence, and conflict. For Jesus there is no happy ending in this world. The challenge of Jesus is not to solve all the world's problems before the end of time but to remain faithful at any cost.

Txt msgs

2011-09-07T17:45:00.005-07:00

Patience means awaiting God’s time without doubting God’s love. ODB

God will never, never, never let us down if we have faith and put our trust in Him. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

Conscience is a voice, every calling us to love and to do what is good and to avoid evil. It sounds in our heart at the right moment. It is our most secret core and sanctuary, where we are alone with God whose voice echoes in our depths. CCC 1776

In our infidelity, God reveals his fidelity. In our feeling of shame and guilt, God shows his forgiveness. In our brokenness God manifests his with holiness.

Whether we are asking forgiveness or offering it, God is pleased. The Upper Room

It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord you are safe. Prov 29:25

Never stop praying, no matter how dark and hopeless your case may seem. Your responsibility isn’t to tell God when he must act or even how he must act. Your responsibility is simply to pray without ceasing trusting him to act according to his perfect will. Billy Graham

God is the perfect friend, the voice when you can’t speak, the strength when you are weak, the hope when you are down, the joy when you are gloomy.

When we do not love, we do not live fully. Because the dynamic of living is the same dynamic of loving. But these two are forms of dying. The one who loves dies a million deaths. The one who dies lives fully. Bp Antonio Tagle

There’s always one thing to be thankful for every morning. That is being able to open our eyes and see the beauty of being alive under God’s love.

The person who only hears the word soon forgets what he has heard. If a person does not practice that he heard, it soon fades from memory. It is just forgotten and it never becomes a part of his life. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. James 1:23-24

Lessons from the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant:

1. True love and concern cannot afford to be silent and indifferent toward people in their weaknesses. Silence and refusal to be involved is not a safe option, but will actually be held accountable for this attitude as a sin of omission.
2. Forgiveness is the greatest measure of love. Adonis Narcelles SVD
3. Whatever gifts God decides to give us despite our unworthiness are meant to be shared and passed. Pay it forward. Fr Jojo SVD

Birthday messages

2011-09-07T17:45:00.003-07:00

Be strong and take courage. Do not fear or be dismayed. – private revelation on 9.8.2011

Lord, thank you for your gift of life. Let the trials that come our way lead us closer to you. For life is beautiful when lived in you with you, in you, and for you. – Ate Precy

God gives peace to those who quiet before him. ODB

God’s love never fails. It meets us where we are. WAU

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments that stand out, the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love. Henry Drummond

Often prayer requires no word at all. Love and kindness shown to another are prayer in action. Terri Mehan

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are accepted and we are loved. Victor Hugo

In prayer, God empowers us to be authentic, free, fruitful and live-giving in our Christian life.

May your journey through this world will be touched by kindness, inspired by wisdom, graced with understanding, and kept safe from all harm. Wishing you not just happiness but pure joy, not just wealth but Heaven’s treasures, not just silence but God’s peace. - Idgit

The true meaning of life is not in being comfortable all the time. It is in trusting that something good could come out of adversity. Like faith, it’s holding on things we don’t see and believing on things we don’t know yet. Let’s entrust everything to God who desires only the best for us. - Zeny

The path you walk in life is unique. No one walks the road better than yourself, for you alone rule your own destiny. So continue doing your best and stay happy. – Ate Precy

Today I pray that God will use your life to be a brilliant fire to the world, that through your words you will bless others with God’s presence, that they will clearly see Jesus through you. – Kuya Rey

You will be great in the Lord! – prophecy from Ate Odette

A year-round wish for you: 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 265 days of success, 8760 hours of good health, 525,600 minutes of good luck, 3,153,600 seconds of blessings. Cris

Count your blessings, name them one by one and it will surprise you on what the Lord has done. Gorgeous/Alma

Desert monk in the city

2011-09-03T06:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if I have a calling to be a monk, although I often brush aside the very idea out of fear. I’m afraid of the monastery and all the requisite holiness it implies. I know I am far from holy, for I often harbor worldly thoughts, including impure thoughts that often turn into impure desires. I struggle constantly with egocentrism, so how could I wear a monk’s habit and be self-preoccupied? I panic at the thought of silence, frightened at the mere thought of coming face to face with God to make an account of the work I have done, then seeing plainly how worthless and vainglorious everything has been. I have to have my daily dose of being needed, relevant, busy, updated, informed, and on top of the heap. I'm afraid I still need to learn fully the distinction between being and doing. I feel ashamed to come to the Lord as nothing, and yet a needy nothing. Maybe it’s because I’m not fully convinced I’m something or someone with God, doubting that my real identity, my true self, resides in Him. Good thing I’ve read an author below the caliber, literarily speaking, of the highly esteemed but largely inaccessible Thomas Merton: someone named Carlo Caretto, a monk who once enjoined the worldly to give monasticism a try even while fully immersed in the hustle and bustle of a fallen world. Henri Nouwen's account of his sojourn in an American monastery plus my readings of John Keating's books were an influence, but the Italian monk in the desert of Algeria has made me see, without too much reading effort on my part, how the secrets of the desert may also be unlocked as a source of inspiration by any urban dweller willing to be a seeker of alternative riches and accomplishments.

If I need a desert in the Philippines, I need not look far -– I need not seek Pampanga’s laharland nor Ilocos Norte’s sand dunes. I just had to content myself with this ‘godforsaken’ piece of earth I rent under the fierce Manila sun. It is a mere six by eight square meters and I can’t even claim it to be mine, especially since I’ve been increasingly unable to pay my mounting arrears for about two years now. Still, I can look at it as a blessing in a roundabout way. For one, others are a lot worse off, and I’m not sure if I could endure their lot if I exchanged places, but I am not referring to this shallow form of consolation of logic.

The opportunities of monk life come aplenty in my desert, even if I am in possession of this laptop I am now using to write. (Incidentally, a friend said the brand I am using is high-end, of which I am not aware.) The refrigerator I had invested in years ago and the washing machine I inherited from my cousin who had moved to the United States are long out of order, so I could now honestly say I qualify for the status of being poverty-stricken, way below middle class. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, I know, and that’s the point. The daily humiliation of deprivation afforded by the lack of supposed basics in modern urban living is unquantifiable, and there is certainly monastic merit in that.

These ‘privations,’ to borrow a quote oft-used by the long-suffering saints and visionaries, in the midst of a neighborhood whose occupants seem to outdo one another in material advancement force me to discover hidden merits where there seem to be nothing but curses and punishments on the surface.

These sufferings are compounded by many other lacks, giving me the right to say I am not trying to be poor, I am really poor, but the truth is I choose to be poor in the sense that I refuse to be pressured by this ultramodern society's toxic shoulds these days: flatscreen TV, videoke, air-conditioner, satin bedsheets, state of the art DVD player, and other earthly wishes they alliteratively call ‘creature comforts.’ As if being a ‘loser’ in this regard isn’t enough, I can easily turn my attention to my address, which is laden with the hardships necessary for a hermit’s existence. Traffic to and from my place can be purgatorial at certain times and days. If I don’t take to the relative comfort of those air-conditioned vans that ply the route in a limited duration, that means I have not much choice but take the very uncomfortable, because too jampacked, jeepney.

The jeepney alone is a great opportunity for sacrificial love, whenever I find myself giving up half of my seat, out of guilt and shame, to a child, a lady or any woman or an elderly who happens to be the last passenger entering. In cases like this, the poor passenger is bound to find that the only remaining space is half-empty, and as ‘fate’ would have it, the other half is to be found in the bordering space that I have occupied.

The drone of airplanes flying to and from the nearby airport is a constant source of irritation to me, too, the kind that makes one nearly go crazy each time. The cramped feeling in this third-rate 'village' built from an empty grassland in an allegedly irregular construction deal (or so I heard one engineer who claimed to have worked on it) is also unnatural – discomforts galore for the would-be urban contemplative.

I have a TV set that I can choose to dispose of, if not for its usefulness in times of typhoons, coups d' etat, and similar "acts of God" and men. I have just one cell phone, the kind that even the lowliest worker in Manila can afford. Among the last luxuries I could boast to be mine include a perfume a friend now based in the States gave me, the Stateside shirts my uncle and cousins gave, some of which are secondhand and not my size, and perhaps this laptop I have bought from a friend on a two-year installment. I still have a landline phone, but I seldom use it, if at all.

As my rented place (which I can’t even call an apartment, but one-fourth of a quadruplex of houses) is also my current workplace, where I keep irregular work hours, I can assure myself of the luxury of silence and prayer time, which are absolute necessities in monastic life. There is surely something to contemplate too, a la The Cloud of Unknowing, from the loneliness of being alone most of my waking hours but for the company of a neighborhood cat. I can easily attempt to mouth my beads nonstop for hours if I wanted to, if I couldn’t take the mentally active quiet time required by a Lectio Divina (the Ignatian practice of Biblical reflection). Those who know the pains of living alone must know how punishing the shame and loneliness of aloneness is. I can choose to revel on this particular cross or thorn, and perhaps produce more than enough suffering to ‘bribe’ God for the conversion of sinners, not the least me.

Aloneness with the Master will afford me to meditate on loneliness' difference with solitude, although strictly speaking, a local theologian has already beaten me to it, saying “Loneliness implies an inner emptiness, while solitude implies an inner fulfillment.” At any rate, I am afforded the luxury of choice in offering prayers of intercession, interceding for petitions sent in from all over, and even spreading my embrace to include the conversion of the most irritating and offensive people I encounter.

My tasks for the day will be ordered in such a way that my workaday will be exquisitely boring: wash clothes, sun-dry them, iron, go to market, cook, wash dishes, clean bathroom, wax floor. I shall have a routine that will be calculated to be as exciting as watching poured cement turn hard. The following all-important contrast should be also highlighted at every turn: I, a lover of fine things, should learn to live with making do, enduring not just the horror of silence and aloneness and the banality of the quotidian, but most especially the ugliness of lowly and homely things, possibly for the rest of my earthly existence, unless I am suddenly called to work on special assignments that require re-immersion into the outside world.

The lack of prestige of my cloistered lot, the hiddenness of it all, plus the loss of the opportunity to show off, keep up with the Joneses, ‘jockey’ for a ‘cushy’ corporate position, and play dirty political games, is made more complete by having people deemed by society as the lowest types as the only people I deal with from day to day. They are the downtrodden of the earth: garbage collectors, ambulant vendors of all kinds of ware and food, beggars, handicapped, scrap buyers (some ‘street children’ don’t pay me at all), and bills delivery men. With them, I feel no need to remind the world who I am and what I have accomplished according to my own overestimation, for I am a mere home occupier and potential coin donor to them, and they couldn’t care a whit if I happened to be a movie superstar who’s trying on the sly the low life of a cockroach for a change.

Certain beggars can even give me plenty of opportunities to practice charity in the exquisite variety that St. Therese of Liseaux, the “Little Flower,” describes in her autobiography, Story of a Soul. I am always irked at how some of them could be so rude in tapping at my window in the middle of a writeup, only to ask for a donation for the blind or some such. I wish they could be more creative by asking for help unintrusively and in advance, but I now realize that that is exactly the mode and this is exactly the time and the place I’ve been looking for as a personal desert and loving self-chastisement for this wannabe city monk. It is a perfect opportunity, I realize, to give love to and exercise the virtue of patience toward someone who can’t give it back and yet even sounds so grating at it.

Among other long-standing concerns under my urban desert right now that are a potential breeding ground for higher-order virtues are the following: a leaking roof, with the number of leaks increasing every two to three years; the state of dilapidation of the front, window panes and screens; and a room left unrepaired after it was severely attacked by termites. These little things are like little curses at me, as though someone was angry at or opposed to my stay in this little corner. There’s also the problem of difficult neighbors: Someone is too noisy at and oppressive to her own kids. A nearby couple ignores me when I meet them on the street. One particular family is giving almost-regular trouble, with their melodramatic shouting matches at night sometimes, waking me up needlessly. A dog owner has this irritating habit of leaving his two toy dogs on the street, exposing passers-by like me to the threat of dog bites and rabies, which said owner routinely dismisses when confronted gently (“No, they don’t bite at all,” he calmly says, to be fair to him.)

Finally, I have health problems too that I can choose to routinely submit to God and struggle to view with gratitude as my own body’s signal that something is amiss in the unseen connection between my mind, body, and soul/spirit. These little illnesses are an effective way of reminding me that I am not a citizen of this world, that the life I am arrogantly trying to take control of using hard science ultimately belongs to God and should be submitted to whatever purpose He deems best at the moment.

As I busy myself with the drudgery of the unsung, I can hope to learn to embrace my monastic city life enough as to wholeheartedly say, “I love it here – what more can I ask for?”

Txt msgs

2011-09-01T17:54:00.003-07:00

God never goes to the lazy when he needs someone for his service. When he wants a worker he goes to those who are already at work. When he wants a great servant he calls a busy person. Let us imitate St Martha in her faithful and loving service to Jesus and to others.

God will never, never, never let us down if we have faith and put our trust in Him. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

Conscience is a voice, every calling us to love and to do what is good and to avoid evil. It sounds in our heart at the right moment. It is our most secret core and sanctuary, where we are alone with God whose voice echoes in our depths. CCC 1776

In our infidelity, God reveals his fidelity. In our feeling of shame and guilt, God shows his forgiveness. In our brokenness God manifests his with holiness.

Whether we are asking forgiveness or offering it, God is pleased. The Upper Room

It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord you are safe. Prov 29:25

Never stop praying, no matter how dark and hopeless your case may seem. Your responsibility isn’t to tell God when he must act or even how he must act. Your responsibility is simply to pray without ceasing trusting him to act according to his perfect will. Billy Graham

God is the perfect friend, the voice when you can’t speak, the strength when you are weak, the hope when you are down, the joy when you are gloomy.

When we do not love, we do not live fully. Because the dynamic of living is the same dynamic of loving. But these two are forms of dying. The one who loves dies a million deaths. The one who dies lives fully. Bp Antonio Tagle

There’s always one thing to be thankful for every morning. That is being able to open our eyes and see the beauty of being alive under God’s love.

The person who only hears the word soon forgets what he has heard. If a person does not practice that he heard, it soon fades from memory. It is just forgotten and it never becomes a part of his life. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. James 1:23-24

Lessons from the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant:

1. True love and concern cannot afford to be silent and indifferent toward people in their weaknesses. Silence and refusal to be involved is not a safe option, but will actually be held accountable for this attitude as a sin of omission.
2. Forgiveness is the greatest measure of love. Adonis Narcelles SVD
3. Whatever gifts God decides to give us despite our unworthiness are meant to be shared and passed. Pay it forward. Fr Jojo SVD

“Everything will work out in the end. If it’s not working out, it’s not the end.”

Everyone quests for joy. When we find peace and satisfaction, there is joy. When we find ourselves in harmony and in communion with other people, there is joy. When we enter into possession of God, who has known and loved us, there is joy. Pope Paul VI. (Compare with Pascal’s assertion that even those who commit suicide do it because of joy or lack thereof.-rso)

Noting dries faster than tears. Life can never promise to be always happy, but life gets better after you accept the things you can’t change.

Nothing is hard if the heart has love. Nothing is impossible when the heart understands. Nothing is heavy when God is in your heart.

Facing an impossibility gives us the opportunity to trust God. Our Daily Bread

We make our own fortune and we call it fate. And what better excuse than to call it our destiny. But at the end of the day, it has always been our choice.

We live on earth full of trials, but by the grace of God, we remain standing like trees. Even if the leaves are falling, still there are new leaves of hope waiting. When we feel being poisoned by stress, pain, pressure, and failures, the best antidote is to pray. You have never tested God’s resources until you have attempted the impossible.

God has no cell phone but he is Smart and He owns the Globe and Sun. you can call him even if you don’t have any load. But remember just Talk, no Text. Don’t forget to call him – it’s free.

God measures a person with the burdens he puts on him. So when you feel your load is heavier than others’, be happy. For God sees you stronger than the rest.

Heavy rains are like challenges in life. Never ask God for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella.

God’s word is a life preserver that keeps the soul from sinking in a sea of trouble. ODB

When God saw my resistance and hardheartedness, the more he becomes gentle to me. He has amazingly shown his gentleness in relating, in caring, and in loving me. He said, Be still and know that I am God. (Ps. 46:10), the faithful God (2Sm7:28) who loved you with an everlasting love (Is 43:4). Thank you God for your gentle loving presence, touching my inmost being. Your touch heals even the most vulnerable, fragile, weakest points of my life. Amen. Fr. Jojo SVD

There are some people who are unreasonable and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you are kind, they may accuse you of selfish motive. Be kind anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Be good anyway. For in the end, it is between you and God. It was never you and them anyway. Wall of Shishu, a children’s home in Calcutta

What shall be give back to the Lord for all that he has done to us? He is content merely to be loved in return for those gifts. St Basil

Life is too short to be unhappy. Laugh when you can. Apologize when you should. Let go of what you can’t change. Love deeply and forgive quickly. Take chances; smile when you are sad. Love with what you got and stay faithful with what you have. People change and things go wrong but always remember: With God’s grace life is beautiful.

Sympathy is love tenderly feeling. Enthusiasm is love burning. Hope is love expecting. Patience is love waiting. Faithfulness is love sticking fast. Humility is love taking the true pledge. Prayer is love keeping trust. Holiness is love in action. – Compassion is love diving deep?-rso

Leave all your worries with Him, because he cares for you. 1 Pt 5:7

When God gives no for an answer, keep in mind that there’s much greater yes behind it. His no is not a rejection but a redirection.

The greatest technique for bringing peace into your life is to remind yourself to always pick being kind when you have a choice of being right or being kind. Wayne Dyer

Sometimes God seems to push us to our limits and tests us beyond our endurance because he has greater faith in us than we have in ourselves.

We cannot grow unless we are willing to change. And we will not change unless we change something we do every day. John Maxwell

When I lie down, I go to sleep in peace. You alone O Lord keep me perfectly safe. Ps 4:8

Dear Lord help me to live this day quietly and easily, without worry or fear. To lean upon your strength and love and trust fully and restfully. To wait for the unfolding of your love patiently and serenely. To meet others in love peacefully and joyously. And to face tomorrow confidently and courageously. Vicente Romero

Prayer is a sin killer, sick healer, power giver, victory gainer and blessing promoter. So pray, pray, pray.

Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe. St Augustine

Don’t let riches – or the pursuit of riches – derail your pursuit of Jesus. ODB

God is a refuge, a shelter, a safe harbor to which you can flee when life becomes a raging storm. Harold Sala

Lord God, let me judge each day not by the harvest I reap but by the seeds I plant so you will judge my life not by the days I have lived but by the good deeds I have done.

Prayer is the voice of faith, trusting that God knows and cares. ODB

Life continues whatever happens. All we need is to be positive and be brace with all the challenges we encounter. Faith in God is still the best armor.

******************I used to think that God’s gifts are on shelves one above another, and the older we get, the taller we grow the easier we can reach them. But now I found out that God’s gifts are on shelves one beneath another where the best gifts are found in the deepest and the lower we stoop the more we get. It is the good deeds we do, the kind words we speak, the love we give and the humility we show that help us stoop down to find our real treasures.

The condition of a person’s heart reveals much of the condition of his soul. A fixed heart is in tune with the Lord – trusting, devoted, serving, and hopeful. What is your heart condition? Warren Wiersbe

Kindness is an inner desire that makes us do good things to others even if we don’t get anything in return. It’s done with sincerity and done from the heart. You become worthy not for who you are, not even for what you have done, but of what others have become because of you.

When we cry, God shares our tears and our pain. The Upper Room

Ang pananampalataya ay ang ating pagsukong personal sa Diyos. Kaakibat nito ang pagtalima ng ating isipan at kalooban sa pahayag ng Diyos hinggil sa kanyang sarili sa pamamagitan ng kanyang mga gawa at wika. – Katekismo ng Iglesia Katolika, 176

Having less means greater simplicity, which produces peace of mind and happiness. Harold Sala

When trials overwhelm our souls and tempt us to despair, we need to reach out to the Lord and trust His tender care. Sper

God has made life so good that even if we don’t exactly get what we want, we will soon realize that what he has given us is actually the best for us.

In a world where we do not always experience being touched and hugged with love the way we need to be, it is nice to know that there is a God who touches us and embraces us always with his unconditional love for he knows we all need love and esteem. Fr Jojo

A positive attitude can turn a normal day into a great day. Keep in mind these little sayings and you’ll be happier:

You are too anointed to be disappointed.
You are to blessed to be stressed.
Losers watch things happen; winners make things happen.

The more helpless I am, Lord, the more I throw myself on your faithful love. Indeed, you are faithful. You keep and fulfill your promise. You are true to your word. Teach me to be faithful. Help me to trust in your alone. And let me remember that all my hope is in you O Lord.

There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less and less. G.K. Chesterton

Trials are not the reasons to give up, but a challenge to improve ourselves. Difficulties are not an excuse to back out, but an inspiration to move forward.

Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love. Martin Luther

Christ asks you for nothing – come just as you are. Come sinful, come guilty, come give Him your heart.

We must love our nothingness, and think only of the ALL which is infinitely loveable. St Therese of the Child Jesus

Everything in this world can be an inspiration. Never let go of it. Every moment that passes is precious and irreplaceable. Savor it. Every person you meet is a gift. Value his presence. Everything that happens in life has a purpose. Enjoy life to the fullest.

When you feel down think about what God has done in your life in the past and the good He promises He will do in your future. Trust him!

Happiness is a very subjective factor in one’s life. Being happy doesn’t depend on achieving what you want but rather making the best out of what is given.

Remind me each morning of your constant love, for I put my trust in you. Ps 143:8

The Miracle Prayer

2011-09-01T17:53:00.001-07:00

Fwdd txt msg

---------------------
The Miracle Prayer

Lord Jesus, I come before you, just as I am.
I am sorry for my sins.
Please forgive me.
In your name, I forgive all others for what they have done against me.
I give you my entire self.
I invite you into my life.
Jesus, I accept you as my Lord and Savior.
Heal me.
Change me.
Strengthen me.
(Close your eyes and allow God to speak to you. Listen and you will be surprised of the miracles in your heart.)

Amen.

Bouncing back from the pits

2011-09-01T01:48:00.001-07:00

An article in the paper caught my attention last Sunday in the Philippine Daily Inquirer because it focuses on the industry I work in, the business process outsourcing industry also known as BPO. I felt glad that someone would pay attention to the subject, knowing how rarely media take it up. Little did I know it would also get me distressed and disheartened.

Authored by an academic, Regina Hechanova, the article reveals the findings from an Ateneo de Manila University study on the BPO sector, which I’ve long held to be true because they are realities –- appalling ones -- I breathe in and out every single day.

What are these truths? That the employer-employee relationship in the BPO industry is often purely transactional. That there is zero loyalty from the employee because the employee doesn’t feel he has a stake in the business. He feels he is there only to be used and to use. The employee sees no reason to be loyal because there is no future in the business; there are no pensions and long-term benefit plans for employees. It is an industry that is beset with too much uncertainty in the first place, owing to the globalized nature of the business.

Before I lapsed again into a depression, I caught myself first by observing how I felt after reading that article, and what I told myself. Well, I said, How true, and how sad. How did I ever get myself here? I used to have a very promising future, with seemingly unlimited possibilities? Why did I get stuck in this sector? What are my chances of jumping ship now that I’m too old for a restart, with the former possibilities seemingly exhausted? Not to look down on other jobs, but with the gifts I was given, surely there was something better for me?

I knew I was at it again –- me and my old temptations to get upset, to be worried sick -- when the top two songs playing in my mind were two Tagalog songs I largely ignored in my youth (because Tagalog songs then were considered cheap): Dito Ba (popularized by Kuh Ledesma) and Kapalaran (popularized by Rico Puno).

Dito ba/O dito ba?/Dito ba/ang dapat kong kalagyan/sa isang sulok kong hiram/sa ilalim ng araw?

Bakit ba ganyan/ang buhay ng tao? Mayrong mayaman, may api sa mundo/Kapalaran/kung hanapin/di matagpuan/At kung minsan/lumalapit/ng di mo alam.

I’ve been here before, and I always attribute such negativities to the devil or the evil in me. I had to ask myself yet again why I had to feel so down, and thankfully the answer came quite easily this time: Because I fear for myself in the future. Because I am afraid of getting old alone and penniless. Because I am scared of ever becoming dependent, a humiliating burden to somebody, even to a family member (since most likely my siblings will each have their own family). Because I am afraid of ending up a failure, accomplishing nothing despite my earlier achievements and promise showed. Because I am afraid to be looked down upon as a shame.

Apart from the usual fear of not-looking-good, however, is the sadness, which I deemed valid or not unreasonable and can only address trustfully to God: Why is this industry I found myself working in for years so loveless? How can it survive being so... utilitarian? Is that the nature of all business enterprises? I wonder. Should the world of work be a world of heartless toil in order to be productive? Should work be Adam’s punishment all over again?

But I know that the Catholic theology on work is not like that at all. There is caritas in veritate. Besides, I have ceased seeing myself as a victim of an oppressive system (for even if it were so, I still have a choice to rejoice and be at peace), but my resolve failed me this time. I saw the BPO industry as indeed being unjust to me and my fellow coworkers. And we were expected to be thankful we had a job at all.

What I did next to avoid falling as before was to sort out what I could control from what I could not. The BPO industry is certainly beyond my control so I should leave the monster at its game, hoping it won't self-destruct.

Since I don’t believe in government interference anymore unless a clear crime is committed, I also decide to quit blaming government. I tend to lay the blame on me first, but also I recognize my limitations and weaknesses.

Lastly, since God allowed everything, He must have willed it for a reason, and that reason is for my own good. Maybe I was put in a place to humble me because I was too prideful and ambitious, viewing job titles and positions as means to service my ego, my disordered needs to aggrandize myself? Maybe I, in fact, need this reversal of fortune so I won’t be too proud of myself in case things happened in my favor?

I should forgive everything, everyone, then, and I should forgive foremost myself. I should instead entrust my future to God. I’m not even sure I’ll survive the next day, so why bother worrying? (I sure pray though that I will still live for a long time more). I will always be judged negatively anyway, so why bother with what people will say?

Also, maybe certain doors have been closed because I was being told to look to other doors, as the cliché goes?

If there is someone who ought NOT to be at peace or be distressed, it is the purveyors of injustice and oppression in this world. They are friends not with God but with the “reigning prince of this world.”

I should instead choose to trust that God loves me so much just like the rest of His children whom He has bestowed with favors and graces they too didn’t deserve. I pray for that portion that I didn’t even have to work for, that portion reserved for mine alone, that best fits just for me that I don’t even have to look at what others got. I choose to trust that, to borrow a quote, “If God put me to it, He will put me through it.” ...My fighting words for a very uncertain future in a hyperviolent world that inflicts its cruelty to men in many quiet, hidden ways.

Vanity, all vanity!

2011-08-22T06:31:00.001-07:00

Vanity, all vanity!

One of the things I dread in life is attending a class reunion. Last week, my college classmate Nena messaged me, and that’s what exactly what we’re having on the 24th. Gina, it turned out, had been home recently, back from the United States after 15 years, and she’d like to meet up at a Shangri-la Mall restaurant with everybody. Would I be able to come? I hate it, but my instinctive reaction was to panic. It’s just like I was going to die.

I had to immediately launch into my usual silent conversations with myself, my way of saying What’s the matter? Why stress over it and have a nervous breakdown?

Well, for sure I was afraid. I didn’t have to admit it – it’s obvious. Why was I afraid? Because it’s Gina, who’s a doctor living the good life in the States, having a lifestyle miles away from mine? Because it’s Gina, whom I got a little crush on (which I fantasize to be mutual)? Because it’s Gina, and Nena who’s a doctor too, and Ritchie who’s another doctor, and who knows which accomplished personality would turn up?

I told Nena via Facebook chat, I am too ashamed to come. I’m still single and still poor. It turns out I presumed I was a shameful failure, and it would be a torture for me to be told that in so many ways in my face. This means I value, even worship, what they’d think of me, for why I’d dread of them judging me?

This means even worse things. Other than having such a low regard for myself and whatever I have accomplished in life, this little incident is revelatory of my hidden God issues. If I truly believe that God loves me, why then am I ashamed of who I’ve become? Didn’t God bless me overabundantly, although in His usual roundabout, illogical, unexpected way? How do I regard all that wisdom, knowledge and understanding He graced/bestowed/gifted/lavished/favored me with? The healing of bad memories, healing of my relationship with my father, mother, brother, other people whom I thought had rejected me? How about the innumerable self-realizations on top of these, especially the revelations of secret sins/defects I didn’t even know I had? What do I make of these spiritual treasures? Why do I seem to take them lightly after all these years? What about the many interests I have that others are not fortunate to enjoy? Don’t I see how the rich and famous would kill just to have what I have, even as I obsess about what I don’t have? Don’t I remember that award-winning actor who said he wasn’t happy after snagging a grand slam of acting awards, the superstar foreign heartthrob who went through a clinical depression because he thought he’s just a pretty (but empty) vase?

“Ah!” I could almost hear God bewail through my incredible myopia.

What a horrible mess I am in, I realize, with the latest idolatry in my heart uncovered. After all these years, I still value human respect, honor, prestige, name, status. I am still dependent on human approval/affirmation. Why am I still obsessed with looking good? Who know what negative thoughts they have been thinking about me? I will be judged by anybody anyway, so who cares?

Worst thing of all, I still don’t believe and trust that God put me through the wringer that’s my life out of His love for me. He made me fall down from my high horse, my ivory tower, because I am too proud. He made me poor because I’m too obsessed with lucre, with material things. he gave me lots of defects because I am too perfectionist, as though I were God. He made me sick because everything I’ve been doing in my life is to further puff up an already bloated ego. God is giving me a lesson here, but I keep on missing it, so I keep on whining.

This punishment is really a blessing. God is giving me a favor by withdrawing all the favors I desire because my heart is not in the right place. (And that is why I am so full of myself (as though everything is about me)).

I’m still thinking whether I am going to the reunion or not. Nena sort of reprimanded me for my insecurities by saying you don’t go to a reunion to brag about your accomplishment. Of course not, she’s right, but I understand her reaction. I know better than to react that way; I instead forgive myself for I know where I am coming from, given the worldly logic I have internalized as gospel truth. But whether or not I’d go, I am glad to have arrived at myself deeper. I have sort of come home with God inside of me. Keeping on trusting Him is hard, said another friend (Cynthia), but it is a hard choice that is doable. The key is me – the one who’s going to do the act of choosing.

**

My wishes to God have outed me

I pray for my own place but never get it because I don’t pray that I be at home first with God, choosing instead to feel secured in my own accomplished place in the sun.

I pray for fabulous friends but never get them because I don’t pray that I’d be friends with God first, choosing instead to be affirmed and accepted by mere creatures.

I pray for my own family (wife and kids) but never get them because I don’t pray that I’d belong to God first, wishing instead to appear normal (and acceptable) and service my lust and accommodate my desire for warmth and innocent affection (which I felt I was deprived of growing up).

I pray for my dream job but never get it because I don’t pray for God’s dream task for me, praying instead to land a cushy job that will give me prestige and comfort.

I pray for much wealth but never get it because I don’t pray for money to be an instrument of God’s love, wishing instead for wealth to bring me a sense of stability and good family standing.

I pray for a perfect body and health but never get it because I don’t pray that every single breath of mine be of service to God, wishing instead for wellness to be indulged in the service of sensuality and all my selfish needs for love, approval, acceptance, affirmation, respect, prestige, stability, warmth, innocent affection.

My prayers show the true state of my heart, my wrong priorities in life, my preference of my own will over God’s will.

Prayer

Forgive me, Lord, and thank You for showing me my new great hidden faults.

**

This is what I heard the Lord say, in response to me:

You're not doing that bad, My son. In fact, I've been watching you, and I appreciate your mere struggle to be good. I know your heart, and I understand you more than you understand yourself. Don’t forget that you went through a lot of traumas and experiences of rejection as a child. Those are affecting how you think and feel and react to life. Those are the fruit of men's sins against you, but I allowed them for a purpose.

Know that I have suffered every blow you have suffered. I was there with you each and every time, taking the pain with you.

But you are not your struggles!

Rest assured I will bring everything to good. You've known how I love writing straight with crooked lines. What looks like a curse and punishment to you now are actually divine favors, as you'll later see.

Rick and Dick Hoyt: Story of a father's great love

2011-08-21T19:31:00.000-07:00

I once dismissed this hit inspirational video as corny, but only because I was too dumb to see the metaphor of the father and son as a symbol of God's love for His children.

If I may spell out its beautiful message: We win in life -- gaining the true liberty/freedom that we long for -- if we freely allow Him to run our lives.

Savor God's fatherly love in this video:

http://youtu.be/Adubrj3yya8

RICK and DICK HOYT - The story of GREAT LOVE

"Life and death always go together"

2011-08-18T19:42:00.001-07:00

Life and death always go together

When we are ready to die at any moment, we are also ready
to live at any moment. – Henri Nouwen

Henri Nouwen on poverty

2011-08-18T16:56:00.001-07:00

Our Poverty, God's Dwelling Place

How can we embrace poverty as a way to God when everyone around us wants to become rich? Poverty has many forms. We have to ask ourselves: "What is my poverty?" Is it lack of money, lack of emotional stability, lack of a loving partner, lack of security, lack of safety, lack of self-confidence? Each human being has a place of poverty. That's the place where God wants to dwell! "How blessed are the poor," Jesus says (Matthew 5:3). This means that our blessing is hidden in our poverty.

We are so inclined to cover up our poverty and ignore it that we often miss the opportunity to discover God, who dwells in it. Let's dare to see our poverty as the land where our treasure is hidden.

- Bread for the Journey

Why do they hate us Catholics so much?

2011-08-18T03:44:00.000-07:00

There were quite a number of times in my life when I was liked by many people. Maybe it’s because I looked so harmless. (I was in fact shy and retiring.) In high school, I gravitated towards the nerds and nonjocks, but I was popular enough to be voted as class president and later on as chairman of a good number of clubs. In college, I had enough friends, so I was never a loner.

Like perhaps any other human being, I do seek solitude at times, especially when thinking hard and thinking about life, but I know how it feels to be liked. It felt so good to me, so addictive, that I think I eventually learned how to be a people-pleaser.

Since I was also familiar with the other side –- after all, I knew how dreadful it was to feel rejected by my own folks –- I learned that it was a fearsome thing to lose other people’s estimation of me. As I matured, though, I experienced the inevitable: I had enemies, was resented and hated, and it sure felt like I had leprosy.

As a freshman in college, ironically during a welcome night sponsored by the upperclassmen, someone from the thick audience crowd flicked his cigarette butt at me. The temerity! Who could be that filthy animal, and how did he ever get into the University of the Philippines System? I had no idea, but I was forced to ask myself whether I had done anything to offend someone so much as to do that, when I was the reclusive, reticent type. I asked myself whether I came off as annoying or arrogant somewhat. (It didn’t occur to me that I might have done no wrong at all, and that some people simply choose to be offensive.)

Another time I felt similar animosity was when an APO fratman (I still remember his evil face) passed by me while my friends and I were laughing over a green joke. You’d never guess how some people could be so mean-spirited –- he suddenly made fun of me by mocking my laughter. He audibly shot back with poker face, "Very funny, ha-ha-ha." He was with his fellow frat members, so maybe that’s why he had the gumption to do what he did. The same line of self-questioning ensued. Was I obnoxious and unlikeable that I would be treated that way? Could it be that I was talking to some girls that the bugger liked (a lot of my female classmates looked adorable)? Could it be that his girlfriend once told him she got a crush on me? Did I ever remind him of somebody he loathed? Could it be that he was envious of me in some way? Was there something or anything (wussiness? a jerk's look?) that pissed him off? I could be endlessly paranoid.

I got the surprise of my life when I discovered that even religion could be a cause for such an amount of animus. I took it for granted that my religion could be a target of rejection just for being the dominant religion. (Even though I had studied in a public school, encounters with kids with a different religion were few and always civil, even friendly.) The first-ever incident, also in college, was traumatic enough, I guess, for why do I still recall it vividly?

I was at the library with a classmate then who I felt a bit close to, having come from the same part of the country. Having just read a news article about the Marian apparition in Medjugorje, I whispered to her something about the pressing messages the "seers" or "visionaries" allegedly got from the Virgin Mary, but my classmate flatly rebuked what I said at once as though I just quoted Satan. Poor stupid me -– I assumed she was a fellow Catholic and, if not, had a diplomat’s sense of saying alternatives to “Nonsense!” and “Rubbish!”, at least in deference to the majority faith. (Side note: the Vatican has no official approval of the Medjugorje apparitions.)

I learned later that my classmate was a devoted born-again Christian (a "fundamentalist" who hated Catholicism so much), so that explained the reaction. From then on, I learned to be cautious in being vocal about my faith especially in a school where people from every possible religion in town gathered together (I had a class in which the 10 or 15 of us each had a different religion). I don’t know if she was aware that I automatically blocked any thought of religion or faith whenever I talked to her, but that’s how I regarded her and ‘her kind’ ever since. I put on an invisible automatic screen or filter.

It was to become some kind of a baptism of fire for me. When I saw that being vocal about my faith in public could be a cause of instant rejection, I sort of began to accept that some people would think of me as misled or mistaken, unfortunate and blinded. (I had yet to discover the retort, "So what?!") So to avoid being thought of as any or all of these, I chose to keep mum on matters I needed not disclose so casually.

Someone said I should NEVER expect to be liked when it comes to private yet strongly held and divisive matters such as faith. The person is, of course, right. (After all, one in the interim will have enemies, be resented and hated, and will sure feel like a leper, but one has to hold his ground, to fight for the right to claim one's own space in the sun.) But I must admit that I still have this desire to be right, accepted, (in other words, loved), and in case that’s a form of unhealthy neediness, a kind of juvenile longing, I don’t understand why I should be hated for it. After all, I do not even proselytize, aware of the need to respect space and allow the freedom to say yes or no. I tend to merely witness to what I strongly believe in, and who doesn’t have any opinion or thought that’s as strongly held? I simply am vocal without trying to convert anyone to my dominant faith (even though, strictly speaking, evangelization is a command of the faith).

Besides, is it my fault that my faith is the dominant faith? I think that’s where most of the hostility is coming from. Since it is the dominant one, it is easy to think of it as having caused all the bad things in today’s society. That jump to conclusion is obviously unfair, but will they ever listen to us explain, given such a presumption? People, I guess, have the right to defraud themselves of the truth.

What may be a more valid observation is that dominance easily spells a feeling of 'oppression' of minority faiths. It’s natural for people at the margins to resent other people they don’t share beliefs with proudly parading a series of ‘idolatrous’ statues down the road, dictating religious feast days as official holidays, and so on.

Sometimes, however, I wonder whether the dislike or antagonism is more about being against Catholicism and Christianity itself (at least the Catholic interpretation of it). I raise this, because that’s what certain people who call themselves atheists and ‘freethinkers’ say out loud. That’s what even some of those who consider themselves fellow believers say between the lines. Some people insist on seeing Christianity as a hindrance to modernity, science, rationality, etc., never mind the many Christian scientists’ contribution to science and modernity.

That is a terrible blinder to wear, from where I am hunched, but where is that blinder coming from? Could it be that some people hate Catholicism and Catholics because they are guilty? Could it be that they hate Catholic precepts because they couldn’t stand the thought that they might be wrong and thus are “living in sin” (in Catholic terminology) and therefore are “outside the grace of God” and therefore they would look bad (to us) and worth rejecting to nonexistence? I figure that’s a thought anyone can find a reason to kill for, or at least be violent for, and wear bishop miters and habits in mockery, or depict priests in a stereotype of a sex-molesting gay guy or a lecherous pedophile,, or attach erect phalluses on crucifixes. But the anger is valid only if our opponents/detractors actually believe what we believe in, because if not, then they couldn't have cared less.

It is sad for things to come to this when we both know there are more things that unite us as human beings than divide. Who among us don’t want peace, love, respect, unity, human progress? (I've met atheists I am actually fond of because we share a lot of intellectual interests.) And who is so perfect as to claim having no frailty, no sin, no thorn in the flesh? All these noisy protestations from both sides, correct me if I’m wrong, can be viewed not only as a cry of “I am the one who’s right,” but also the presumptive, “I am angry at you because you don’t like me!” It could also be interpreted as a mutually fearful, “I am afraid of you because you are a threat to my cherished perception of how I and my life should be.” (In short, we are somewhat afraid of each other.)

Could the shared animosity, and/or mutual fear, be also an opposing cry to be loved and accepted? Could it be that we are both insecure and egocentric in varoius degrees, or why are we so vehement about our need to be right, our desire to be on the winning side of the argument?

But if I get the Catholic side right (and I can only speak for this side, I being decidedly ‘biased,’ (i.e., by choice)), the answer to the question is, “Maybe, but not necessarily.” Catholic protesters, if I am reading them right, come from this belief that they had to proclaim (their version of) God’s truth and conception of right and wrong whether or not they long to be accepted by fellow human beings, because what matters to them the most is the love and acceptance of God. These are people who will die fighting for their credo (in charity, of course) –- and with the unspoken message “to heck with what you think of me,” not because they hate their opponents, nor because they have an intense need to make an ‘other’ of them and an exclusive 'us' of themselves, but because they “hate the sin and not the sinner,” because they love God so much that they are willing to love Him above all else.

Frankly I feel so silly explaining this, because if one lives in a Catholic country (as my target audience is), it’s so easy to absorb this line of thought. It should be kid’s stuff discerning all the other sub-statements because the Catholic protesters are very transparent anyway, not given to resorting to dirty tactics (which naturally are not 'kosher'). You’ll know it when they say between the lines:

- “We’re not enjoying this, but we have to do it, not because we want to win or earn God's love and approval (He loved us first, and we can't bribe Him anyway), but because we choose to love/serve/believe/trust God above all.”
- “God knows we wish no one ill, but we have to do this if we are to call ourselves Christian and be able to look at ourselves in the mirror again.”
- “We have to do this even if you don’t like it or even if you won’t like us because our God deserves it, not only because when God loved us He gave us the best, but also because He wishes it so (or it is His will).”
- “Hate us if you will, but we can’t hate you back. Oh, well, we’re just human like you -– we may hate you for a time, but we know we can’t be hate-filled for long.”
- “You know we won’t ever resort to 'a tooth for a tooth.' We’re not necessarily better. We just choose to do what we believe is right, no matter the consequences.”

The other side may or may not have the last word in this unending fight, but if we have to have the last word, then this is it: “I think we know why you hate us so much, and you know what? It’s okay. We understand, and we wish you'll understand us too, but if we're not so lucky, then tough luck.”

My conversion story

2011-08-18T03:43:00.000-07:00

DRAFT

Everyone has his or her own conversion story. This is mine.

I always begin with coral reefs. Why? Because I found God in a coral reef.

Maybe I found Him earlier than that but the coral reef my Ecology class took to Balaoan in Luna town, La Union one blessed day once and for all made me stop doubting and denying there was a God.

Forgive my ego trips

2011-08-18T03:41:00.003-07:00

Forgive me, Lord, for my ego trips, for the times I:

Desire to be famous
Want to be in control, always thinking like a scientist, relying on my own intellect alone instead of uniting it with the Holy Spirit’s inspiration or entrusting it to you
Am passive instead of causing positive change, because of fear of failure and rejection
Am ambitious in any way
Desire financial/economic success foremost, because of prestige, status, estimation, respect, and the like
Am status-conscious, unknowingly looking down on others I deem inferior to me in any way
Want to be unique and special, rising above the crowd
Want to prove myself, enslaved by others' high expectations of me
Want to please, even impress, mere creatures by wanting to be right and look good because of fear of not being loved and accepted
Want to be needed, be useful, and be relevant and be noticed for it
Am infantile by trying to get what I want right here right now
Hunger for more recognition, more achievements even if I practically grew up with them
Want to be the best for my own personal glory
Lack zeal in you, too shy or timid in defending You or initiating things for You
Do not believe and trust enough in Your love for me
Compensate for my insecurities through study, associations, friendships, substances/food, things I used to lack, things I think I need for my lifestyle, and other things that might give me the high
Rush things because I feel they are very important when they are not (they are merely meant to fill my empty ego)
Do any other forms of idolatry I am not even aware of.
Even lie and kill reputes for all this
Then neglect you in favor of all of the above

Thank You, Lord. I claim Your loving forgiveness of all these sins.

Virtue is its own reward, sin its own punishment.

2011-08-17T17:42:00.001-07:00

Discuss

Two kinds of sorrow

2011-08-17T17:41:00.001-07:00

That sorrow which is the harbinger of joy is preferable to the joy which is followed by sorrow. -Saadi, poet (c. 1213-1291)

To believe what you don't see is to see what you believe

2011-08-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of is to see what you believe. - St Augustine

"Unless you believe, you shall not understand."

2011-08-17T17:39:00.001-07:00

"sometimes the dangers of failing to affirm truth is far greater than the dangers of wrongly affirming falsehoods"

Bible study notes - 3

2011-08-15T18:18:00.001-07:00

Bible study notes - 3

It's amazing what new things we keep on learning from the Bible through our Bible study.

I, for one, have learned that, through the process of noting the subtle parallels and unexpected reversals, we can unlock new meanings and interpretations from the text even if we have encountered them a hundred times. Here are the old and new symbolisms I've been reminded of and learned lately. Truly the Bible is a rich mine of the thoughts of God:

In the murder of Abel by Cain (the world's first murder case)...

Cain's offering is rejected by God because unlike Abel's offering, which was taken from the best crop/livestock, Cain's offering was merely perfunctory and not from a thankful heart.

Cain = symbol of wickedness, prefiguring the enduring evil in man's heart through the millennia
Abel = symbol of hope of God for a good "seed" that will save the world from Adam and Eve's (man's) fall from grace; prefigurement of Jesus Christ

In the story of the tower of Babel...

Tower of Babel = symbol of man's pride, i.e., of man's self-reliance in place of faith in God

Note how the Babel of linguistic confusion and division led to a beautiful but surprising reversal during the Pentecost, with various people from all over being united through the Holy Spirit despite their Babel of tongues.

Self-reflection: What is my tower of Babel? Have I contributed to any division because of my pride? How has the Holy Spirit worked in me to promote peace and unity in my home, work, community?

**

In the story of Noah's ark...

Noah's ark = a preview of man's salvation through Jesus Christ and his Church

(An aside from Ate Agnes P.: Note how Protestants, in Fr. Jun Lingad's interpretation, have built numerous small boats instead of joining the Ark.)

Flood = preview of baptism

Seven days = recalls the seven days of creation; this means God was recreating the world after the Great Flood

Rainbow = symbol of hope and renewal after the storm and the flood

Dove = represents and previews the coming of the Holy Spirit in the lives of the faithful

Self-reflection: Have I joined Noah in the ark? In what ways do I create little boats that capsize during a massive flood? How do I assure my own salvation through the Ark of Christ?

**

Other parallels and reversals through the Genesis portion of the Biblical timeline:

In the various Genesis stories we've read, man is always the same. Man keeps on falling into concupicence (the tendency to sin), especially the sin of idolatry.

However, God always offers a way out, even through our sinfulness. He saw how curses, flood, and confusion didn't work, so tried a new tack.

The time came when He thought of a final solution. His redeeming work for mankind reaches its height in the supreme sacrifice of His only Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

**

What a beautiful story! And we're just getting started. I'm excited for the next installment, aren't you? ;P

Time as kairos (instead of chronos)

2011-08-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

"Chew your food well." I learned that from my mother. As a Bio major, I am aware of the chemical and clinical implications: acid in my stomach, or worse, GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disorder). Why am I always rushing anyway, like eating has some deadline? Oh, but it does have. I will be late in my appointment if I relished what I was doing. If I will be late, I will not give a good impression; I might even lose the deal. But if I win the deal, will it be worth it if I have ulcer? What is life if I don't enjoy chewing every bit of it?

I rush almost everything else that I do. I wash my own clothes with a mental timer, with advanced or ridiculously premature thoughts. I don't play chess, but I often have the foresight of chess when it isn't needed. Barely have I started washing when I immediately launch into imagining when to rinse, dry, and air the clothes out in the sun.

The rush is making me crazy. I feel like a newborn baby who bawls if he is not given his milk right now. iWhat has become of me when, at 40, I haven't perfected that thing I should have learned in grade school?

There are books and other readng materials whose conclusion or ending I am always tempted to read first whenever I get stuck by tiredness or boredom in the middle. It ruins the pleasure of reading, I know, but many times, I can't resist. If rushing is sickness, then I am ill of something, right? Maybe ADHD? Or just plain boredom? Thankfully, ADHD is now seen as somewhat a badge of honor if you display so much as a kindergarten impatience over something.

One of the things I don't like very much, I've found, is meditating, unless it is forced as in a religious retreat. In my idle moments, I am given to either revisiting the past or fast-forwarding to the future. If only I grew like this, I tend to think back. If only I was like him or her. Or: What will happen from hereon in? What will I become?

These thoughts often end up being morbid, if I allow them to fester: How will I be when I grow up (read: grow old)? Will I end up alone? How will I die, and when? Will I be alone? Will it hurt? Will it be scary? Will it be debilitating and humiliating?

Luckily in recent years, I've learned to get in touch with my feelings, but I think I have overdone it. The chess player's foresight I have is a curse, together with whatever artistic sensibility that I think I harbor inside of me. ...For I tend to get in touch with my inner whatever and get stuck there. Nothing wrong with being honest with oneself, I know, but I tend to imprison myself in the cell of my own fears and anxieties. Instead of transcending all of them by not denying them but facing them squarely, then offering them to the love and mercy of God, or at least facing the other cold side of reality (where or what is the future? can I control or extend a single second of it?), I get stuck in my own self-created blocks.

I remember my ever-nervy mother from whom I suspect I got all these nervousness about the future. She often lived in the future. She used to collect all these exotic recipes she saw in magazines but never got to cook any of them. She often cut out a lot of promo coupons, but some of them never get to be dropped in drop boxes, so she never wins the jackpot. Whenever she sees something in the grocery or shop that she really likes but can't afford, she always says I'll buy it sometime if I will have enough savings. It turned out she never had any because things weren't always enough, so she was never able to buy anything she liked. (She's much improved now.) She also has this habit of keeping all the wonderful dining ware locked up in a cabinet, to be reserved for special occasions, and for everyday use, we are limited to the old and ugly and shopworn.

The one hobby I have in life that I fail to pursue is birdwatching. I always say I'll do it if I will have time. But it turns out I never have enough time, so I am never able to pursue my passion. I am like my mother that way, the way she deals with a nonexistent future by NOT taking action on it.

Why be nervous about the future when I know fully well that I can only control so much, and I can only do that in the present too, limited by what is real in the here and now? Laughably enough, I know the answer as well, but am not keen to heed its warnings: Because I am trying to repair something in the past, making me a slave to my future with the thought that "I can only be happy iff. (that's the symbol used in math for 'if and only if') I get to repair the past.

What went wrong in the past that I am hell-bent of repairing so I'll be happy in the future? Well, maybe that's for a separate time, but I guess there's no better time than now. (Haha.) Maybe I am afraid of failure. Maybe I am afraid of loneliness and being alone. Maybe I am afraid of sadness and pain, especially horrible pain. Maybe I am afraid of existential death -- the thought that I will be no more.

Why do I fear death so much anyway, enough to be called thanatophobic? Maybe it's because I am afraid of God. Maybe I don't really believe God 100%, for where is the lack of faith and trust coming from? Is it because I am afraid of Him because I am afraid of how I'm going to die, afraid that He might take my life all so suddenly the way he took my friend Malou's and Cesar's at the prime of their lives, afraid that it would be so horrible and painful and embarassing, afraid that He might not save me after all the troubles and miseries I endured? What if I lost my mind? What if I lost my cognitive function, my writing ability? Those are the only (imagined) assets I have, and if God also took them away, of what use would I still be? Then again, why do I think of myself again in terms of use, in terms of doing (not being), of pakinabang (serviceability), of gamit (usage)? I am a human being, not a human doing, am I not (to steal a statement from my Evangelical friends)?

Might I even be harboring a secret anger or resentment at God for being so fearsome that way, for taking away lives like that? Have I ever harbored the secret resentment of atheists, such as, "What kind of God would take away life just like that?"

I think I resent it that I'm more afraid and angry at Him and doubtful than loving and trusting Him. But what can I do? That's how I feel; these are my reflex emotions. But I choose to surrender completely anyway, for I have no control anyway. I choose to trust that God's love and understanding for me is far greater than all my fears and hatreds and greater than my understanding of self.

It's embarrassing to admit this, but the underlying truth is shouting from the rooftops: I am deeply insecure, that's why. I am so insecure that's why I am still so full of myself even at this embarrassingly late stage in life. That's the truth I keep on escaping from, that's why I can't live in the now, that's why I always live in the past and the future. I guess the pain is too much for me to bear. (But thank God I came to these realizations at all!)

I can think of a lot of early childhood traumas as possible causes, but the real question is how on earth did I get to carry over all those well into adulthood, when I am fully conscious and have a full choice in my course of action, when I have already ceased to be that traumatized child long ago?

They say that forgiveness does not mean forgetting the past or erasing the past, but forgetting it only because you have seen in it a new, more perfect light and have no longer a desire to keep on reviewing it in the old light. Maybe I keep on going back because I haven't made complete peace with it. That means I will also keep on repairing it into some future of wholeness. I can expect the vicious cycle to keep on going then.

Ah what folly. Let me enjoy each and every moment of my life then, and without any adjustments for the future except for what's reasonable; let me live life to the fullest in the now.

Kairos. I think I am now slowly getting it. It doesn't mean being irresponsible and singing "Que sera sera" each time a problem comes up. It means chewing my food well, giving my best at work in the task at hand, reading each word with relish, using the best cup and plate (with other bests reserved for special ocassion), enjoying life like a game, not because of any other motive whatsoever apart from the desire to chew my food well, give my best at work, read each word with relish, use the best cup and plate, and enjoy life like a game. It means living in the now with no regard for what happened or what will happen next, knowing what happened is what happened and what will happen next is not for me to think about; now is the only thing that's real and mine for the taking. This apartment I am renting right now is my own place in the sun for now. The rare bright bird that just flew by my window is mine to appreciate for now. I will grab hold of it, nay clutch it, possess it, until it becomes the past and I am fully ready to move on to the next now, if it comes, in a future with no regrets.

I fear death because...

2011-08-07T19:46:00.001-07:00

I have what they call thanatophobia, also known as fear of death.

Why do I fear death so much? Is it because I don't trust in God? Is it because I am afraid of Him, afraid of how I'm going to die, afraid that He might take my life all so suddenly the way he took my friend Malou's and Cesar's at the prime of their lives, afraid that it would be horrible and painful and embarassing, afraid that He might not save me after all the trouble? Might I even be harboring a secret anger or resentment at God for being so fearsome that way, for taking away lives like that? I think I resent it that I'm more afraid and angry at Him and doubtful than loving and trusting Him. But what can I do. That's how I feel; those are my reflex emotions. I choose to surrender completely anyway, for I have no control anyway. I choose to trust that God's love and understanding for me is far greater than all my fears and hates and greater than my understanding of self.

This is a kingdom matter

2011-08-05T23:10:00.001-07:00

The usual whys and how-comes come attacking again. Why am I here? Why am I doing this? I took a taxi ride worth Php 140 because I wasn't feeling well and afraid of commuting alone. But for what? Why do I have to make an extra effort to be on time at 6 PM, only to find no one there, only to find myself eating alone, with everybody late by one hour. How come I even endure this?

How come I need to suffer other people's foibles, look past their imperfections and inadequacies?

When I caught myself telling all these things, I questioned myself: Why am I complaining? Isn't our friend L. worth all these troubles? Is it because he's not a famous or wealthy or highly educated or high-stationed personality? Is his contribution in my life and the community's life too low in my view as to be deserving of my toil and energy, which is actually too little a sacrifice compared to his? Am I giving something because I was getting something in return? Am I annoyed because I thought I wouldn't get something equal in return, measure for measure? Am I not guilty of conditional love once again (because that's how I learned to love)?

What was I waiting for? What kind of work? Was I expecting evangelizing big people, or Muslims, or catechisizing the urban poor, preaching like Bo Sanchez or Mike Velarde?

When I was through detoxifying myself from such evil thoughts, I heard a gentle whisper say, "This is what the kingdom all about. This is the heart of the matter." This is what all you've heard and learned all about. This is the test, the test of real life.

After I nodded in quiet understanding and agreement, I told myself, "This is it! Give it your best shot! It's all worth it!"

Fwdd email on Aging

2011-08-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

-------------------

As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play, on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.
I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But, broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

Txt msgs

2011-07-30T00:37:00.001-07:00

It's not how long you live that counts, but how how you live. Our Daily Bread

10% of life consists of what happens to you. 90% consists of what you do with what happens to you.

Oh my God, give me your grace so that the things of this earth and things more naturally pleasing to me may not be as close as You are to me. - Blessed John Henry Cardinal Newman

Carpenter of Nazareth, make us windows and doors of welcome and hospitality in the walls of our dwellings. Make us chairs for company, tables
for food, beds for rest.

Oh, Lord, grant that I may see the joke of things. The little things that bother now and then. Lord, grant that my sense of humor be strong, to weep a bit and yet smile again. Grant that there be a chuckle in each tear, to every trial, Lord, grant a funny half.

Once I knew only darkness and stillness. But a little word from the fingers of another fell into my hands that clutched at emptiness, and my heart leaped to the joy of living. Hellen Keller

Great gifts are not found in any store. They are stored in the hearts of great people. It is unlimited and bears no expiry date.

The things I thought were so important -- because of the effort I put into them -- have turned out to be of small value. And the things I never thought about, the things I was never able either to measure or to expect, were the things that mattered. Thomas Merton

Lord, catch me off guard today. Surprise me with some moment of beauty or pain. So that at least for the moment I may be startled into seeing that you are here in all your splendor, always and everywhere, barely hidden, beneath, beyond, within this life I breath. Frederick Buechner

Sympathy/Pity vs Compassion

2011-07-29T22:46:00.001-07:00

ompassion only becomes genuine compassion when supplemented with action. Otherwise, it is simply pity, which is an emotional state one has towards the unfortunate. And pity comes a dime a dozen. Christianity calls us beyond pity. Compassion comes from two Latin phrase cum – with and pati – to suffer. Compassion literally means to suffer with.

In Matthew 14:13-21, the apostles pitied the hungry people. This is why they suggested that they be sent home to eat. But Jesus wanted them to transform their pity into compassion. This is why the Lord instructed the apostles “…they do not need to go away. You give them something to eat” (16). Jesus was telling them to act on the pity that they feel towards they hungry people.

Fr. Joel Jason

It's true! Love is everywhere.

2011-07-29T17:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen the Hollywood movie Love, Actually, but I'd like to, even if I'm mostly turned off by Hollywood movies (unintelligent, shallow, violent, vulgar, schmaltzy, Disneyfied, treats sex maliciously). I am attracted by its simple thesis: Love is everywhere if we but look around deeper. A rundown of my major stressors of late tells me that this is so.

The doctor who told me in a blunt, irritated way to relax and watch my diet was actually not annoyed of me. I forgot that I was seeking treatment (like Ed P. reminded me), not a major sermon, so I didn't see that he was actually concerned about his last (and distraught) patient for the day: me. Oh, I have a fault here, I remember: I didn't tell him I was having some withdrawal symptoms, and my hypertension could be one of them. Anyway, I rediscovered vegetables, even recreating the five-vegetable soup I enjoyed at Le Coeur de France, but this time adding lentils, which I discovered at SM Bicutan, and without MSG and too much salt. I have also rediscovered the joys of cooking, with all the common sense chemistry and aestheticism it demands. As for my deteriorating health, I should thank my body for giving symptoms, so I could do some repair work in time and not when it's too late. I should also thank God for these hard times because I am forced to learn what it means to surrender my life, each day and each moment. I am also thankful to have conversed with a friend (Cynthia), who is a stage 4 breast cancer survivor. The way she handled it all gives me strength. I told her I have a deathly fear of death (due to childhood traumas), and she told me that trusting God is a decision, a hard but doable one.

The gang members who pickpocketed my wallet containing cash and IDs and cards in Pasay Rotunda one stormy Friday night must have done it because they were desperate to feed their family, one of whom might be ill. No amount of neediness excuses them for their crime, but I can't also discount the possibility that they were so desperate they went for the easy way. Have they asked, I would've gave them some.

The taxi driver who refused me a ride at the same time was just protecting himself from the horrendous traffic going to my place. His refusal had nothing to do with me.

The Banco de Oro call center employee who gave me wrong info about blocked ATM accounts was honestly doing her job. She said, wrongly, that I could get my card in three days and I could withdraw my money over the counter any day. But she made an honest mistake by not asking what kind of card, because it turned out BDO cash cards that are issued as a corporate account are processed differently.

The HR people at the company were just committing an honest mistake too. They were not trying to annoy me on purpose when they said BDO needed two IDs for identification (I only had one left after the ordeal!) and claimed I had to wait for 10 working days for processing, only to make me wait for almost another extra week. It turns out they needed the extra week to update my account, so they could transfer the old balance to my new card. The HR guy on the corner wasn't being bitchy to me when he gently admonished me, "Sir, don't lose it again, please," so I need not retort that I didn't lose the card -- it was stolen from me in such an unsavory way.

My brother's refusal to lend me emergency money was not the unkindest cut of all that I instinctively thought it was. He was just being honest because he just gave everything to his wife over the weekend, and besides, he knew I had so many other options. He didn't mean to be mean to me. He just didn't know how to say it properly. Maybe he was irritated that I figured the third time in that kind of crime. Maybe he didn't realize at once that being a victim on the street wasn't the least of my ardent wishes as a commuter. It could also be that I misinterpreted him big-time and have cobbled together an already complex story that ensured me a lifetime of resentment. Anyway, what was I griping about when I had at least a hundred possible to borrow money from? Besides, he also exerted an effort in bringing home some wonderful meals like that homecooked curried fish dish (the exotic kanduli, a saltwater type of catfish species) with lots of turmeric bits. Now that was very, very delicious. (The last hard-to forget fish dish I ate is trevally (talakitok) in miso soup and Chinese mustard.)

The two friends who owed me a sum were not being insensitive louts when they were borrowing money from me at the exact same moment that I had just lost everything. Most likely, they were desperate as well and had no other recourse.

When another person who owed me a big amount just said "Noted" and didn't care to do a followup, it could be that he really didn't have cash on hand and must have been equally agitated at my sad fate. I am pretty sure I will hear from him in the near future, as I always have, and he will be profusely apologetic.

I couldn't fault the Paranaque branch of SSS either, when their people turned down my application for a new ID ever so casually. The guard said my official address is Pasay, and they only processed Paranaque residents and employees. Why should I assume they should know I wasn't feeling well and still traveled all the way from my place? At least the guard gave me two options: to reapply at either of two branches in Pasay.

The guard at the Pasay Taft branch was just doing his job when I found him too brash upon my inquiry. He was apparently just after order and discipline and security, and this applicant might be yet another swindler he had to swat like a pest. It's not about me -- it certainly is not, and I am not being sarcastic here (unlike before).

The clerk assigned to process new IDs was not being stupid and mean when he found my middle name on their database to be misspelled to Simin, so he demanded my birth certificate on top of the usual two IDs for verification. I know it was not my fault -- my middle name has been Simon all through those years that I've been an employee and regular contributor, but most probably the mistake was unintended, in their bid to revamp their system with the help of a new IT provider (as reported in the news). Good thing I had updated my birth certificate as well earlier.

The proponents of the Reproductive Health Bill, which I have always deemed evil at the outset, are vehement in their support because they really want a prosperous Philippines, a declogged Manila free from ugly squatter colonies and smelly and grimy streetchildren. They want to have a good life, for a change. They don't want to be burdened with too many children they couldn't afford to feed and educate decently. They are tired and don't wish to see misery anymore everywhere, like we all do.

The atheist freethinkers and secularists who hate my Church of imperfect people so much probably do it because that's how they see their side of reality: a bumbling, medieval, politically meddling, ignorant, antiscience church. What can I do when that's their most honest interpretation? In their own view, they are fighting for what they think is right and they are advancing a better world for it.

The gay priests and bishops (and all other erring clergy) who have embarassed the Catholic faithful to bits lately must not be doing it on purpose. It must have been their idea of loving that made them do it, although they probably didn't realize until it's too late that it's wrong. Like the rest of LGBTI, they must think they can't help it because "it's in their nature," no matter how I insist they are mistaken.

As for God, I couldn't accuse God of punishing me severely with this unfortunate string of 'misfortunes' either. He is allowing everything for His own mysterious purposes, I'm sure. I take it in faith that everything is for the best and for my own good; I know and believe that He loves me.

Txt msgs

2011-07-29T02:21:00.000-07:00

(Fr. Ate Mitz, Kuya Mel, Kuya Monching, Ian, Joop)

Hindi ka lugi kapag naging tapat ka sa Diyos. Tatapatan Niya ng higit pa ang katapatan mo.

Give your worries to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will never let good people down.

The warrior never cries in the field of battle, but always cries in the ministry of prayer. Pray at all times. - 1Thes 5:17

No mother could snatch her child from a burning building more swiftly than God is constrained to succor a penitent soul. St Henry Suso

Although God requires that we reap the consequences of our sin, he loves us and wants to restore us to fellowship. Don't allow Satan to rob you of God's grace. He forgives, cleanses, and restores. Have you stumbled? Confess your sin and repent. He is faithful to forgive. Warren Wiersbe

We do not find our true self by seeking it. Rather, we find it by seeking God. For in finding God we find our deepest selft. David Benner
Not everyone is given the chance to grow old. So let us appreciate and thank God for every single day of our lives.

Appreciate life
even if it's not perfect. Contentment is not the fulfilment of what we wish for, but an appreciation of what we have.

It is right to submit to a higher authority whenever a command of God would be violated. St Basil the Great

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. William Jennings Bryan
Anxiety means that we believe in the circumstances more than we believe in God. Dr Richard Halverson

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Phil 4:6

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Confucius

10 Things God wants us to remember:

I created you.
I will provide for you.
I will never leave you.
I will always listen to you.
I am always with you.
I will protect you.
I will intercede for you.
I will have mercy for you.
I always love you.
I died to save you.

Pride leads to destruction, and arrogance to downfall. Prov 16:18

I am happy because God is with me. Where I am, there he is. What I do, He sees. How I feel, He knows.

Two things define our success in life. 1. The way we manage things when we have nothing. 2. The way we behave when we have everything.

Tell God your 3Ps, problems, pressures, and plans, and He will give you His ABCs, answers to prayers, best favors, and courage to go on.

Beyond the uncertainty of life is the assurance that God cares and loves us.

When you see the goodness of everything around you, when you see the good side of every event in your life, you'll never run out of blessings to count.
Sunrise always brings us new hope, new light to a darkened dream. Most important, it tells us to forget the pain of the past and start a new life.

God answers prayers in a way he knows what you truly deserve.

A test of true Christian love: Do you help those who can't help you in return? - Our Daily Bread

We also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering procudes endurance. Rom 5:3

Only Jesus can bring wholeness to a broken life. Our Daily Bread

One's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses. Lk 12:15

Txt msgs galore

2011-07-28T22:44:00.000-07:00

Txt msgs from Ate Mitz:

Learning to forgive forces us to move forward in spite of our losses.

Release the regrets of yesterday, refuse the fears of tomorrow, and receive the peace of today.

Obey the Lord, be humble, and you will get the riches, honor, and a long life. Prov. 22:4

You do yourself a favor when you are kind. If you are cruel, you only hurt yourself. Ps 11:17

The highest place in the world is still down at the Lord's feet. Stay humble.

For the Lord gives wisdom. From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Prov 2:6

There is only one way to bring peace to the heart, joy to the mind, and beauty to life. It is to accept and do the will of God. William Barclay

You do not know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14

God cares for us more faithfully and fully than our earthly parents ever could.

When you give to the poor, it is like lending to the Lord, and the Lord will pay you back. Prov 19:17

At the close of life, the question will not be how much have you got, but how much have you given. Not how much have you won, but how much have you done. Not how much have you saved, but how much have you served. Nathan Schaeffer
If you want to feel rich, just count up all the things you have that money cannot buy. Daniel Webster

Each time you view your circumstances as possessing value, regardless of the apparent confusion or hardship, you grow. Cherie Carter Scott

Today is a gift of life. Live it with gratitude and don't let the sun set today without seeing it, hearing it, and enjoying it. Tim Connor.

There is only one way to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Dale Carnegie

Let us recognize the fire in our hearts. The fire of the love of God

that can burn away all evil that is concelaed in our hearts.

Faith means taking our eyes off our troubles, our losses, our pain, our difficulties, and redirecting our concentration and focus toward the Lord. Harold Sala

One important thing about being a grownup is the realization that we're not here to please anyone. Rather, we're here to do something good, something that makes us happy, something that could define our life. Because the thing worse than death is a life without a purpose.

Hate has four letters, but so does Love. Enemies has 7 letters but so does friends. Lying has 5 letters, but so does truth. Hurt has 4 letters, but so does heal. Transform every negative energy into an aura of positivity. It's our perception that makes the difference in the way we feel.

Ang sinuman kung si Yahweh buong pusong susundin, buhay niya ay laging pagpapalin. Awit 128:4

Courage is nothing more than fear that said its prayers this morning. Adrian Rogers

When you have a problem, go out and be generous. When you give, you feel empowered, you feel blessed with possessions that you can give away. Why give more than receive? Because at times, we become too full of ourselves that we burst if we take in more and didn't give some away. William Gracian

If we are not governed by God, then we will be ruled by tyrants. William Penn

Faith is the simplest and plainest thing in the world. It is simplly believing in God. Hannah Whitall Smith

A new day like today is not just God's gift to us. We are God's gift to one another with the love we can give and the service we can do to others.

A patient man is better than a warrior, and he who rules his temper, than he who rules a city. Prov 16:32

Learn to live each day as if it were your last. Some day it will be. Billy Graham

It's not the heavy load that breaks us down, but the way we carry it. Stress is not the problem but the way we deal with it. Our Lord wants us to be still and allow Him to direct and lead us. (fr. Kuya Monching)
A little faith says God may do it. A bigger faith says God can do it. But a deep faith says Whatever happens God does what is best.

Love and kindness shown to another person are prayer in action. Terri Meehan

Even when life seems empty of comfort or joy, each day is full of reasons to praise God. It's when our cups are empty that God fills them up.

A stupid past will always be remembered but can never be changed. But a mistake can always be corrected and should never be repeated.

Even a turtle can win a race as long as he never gives up.

God is always true to his promise that whatever He started in you he will take it to completion because He perfectly loves you.
Nothing is hard if the heart has love, nothing is impossible when the heart understands, and nothing is heavy when God is in your heart.

I do not pray for al ighter load, but a stronger back. Philip Brooks

The human contribution is the essential ingredient. It is only in giving oneself to others that we truly live. Ethel Precy Andrews

It's not what happens to you that determines how far you will go in life. It is how you handle what happens to you. Zig Ziglar

The biggest blind spot

2011-07-28T22:40:00.005-07:00

The biggest blind spot of all is being outside the grace of God.

From negative to positive

2011-07-28T22:40:00.001-07:00

You can turn anything negative by shifting your point of view from a worldly point of view to God's perspective.

Random quotes from Fr. Cres's retreat

2011-07-28T22:39:00.000-07:00

Do not demand growth; simply allow it.

Allow the community to grow, but without strict man-made laws. Sometimes we get too focused on the quantitative.

Everything belongs to and is created by God. Note that animals are "good," but man is "very good"! Nothing completed and satisfied Adam but a fellow human, a woman.

A sanctified state is a state in life when we are in union with God. We are in total communion if we don't have sin (venial and mortal).

Are you sick? Don't complain. Look at St. Therese of Liseaux. There should be acceptance. Sickness is not a punishment. It has a purpose; it is called salvific/redemptive suffering.

In the body of Christ, if someone is honored, the whole community is honored, just like when a pair of beautiful eyelashes makes the whole woman beautiful.

Trust for today! Note that the Our Father says, "Give us THIS DAY our daily bread," not this week!

It's worth to 'abnormal' to the world. The reward is also abnormal.

**

Bonus: Just one of the jokes by Fr. Cres:

The natural emotional progression is from joking to serious to angry, so I first make fun of anything, so when it makes me angry, I will just turn serious instead. (Makes sense, right?)

I, "the weak one"

2011-07-26T19:15:00.000-07:00

There were several moments in my life that told me I used to be regarded as the weakling in the family.

- When I noticed it was always my younger brother who was the go-to guy in sensitive errands, whether in the neighborhood or in a far-away part of town. He was the one always entrusted with the family secrets and heavy concerns such as going to the market, asking neighbors for something, pressing those with debts to pay up, etc.

- When my mother mocked me angrily for being such a crybaby, for crying from the slightest pain and discomfort.

- When my parents didn't inform me of my youngest brother's (Johani) death at birth and my mother's delicate condition during hospitalization. Johani is said to have hydrocephalus. I never saw him.

- When I was informed too late about my Uncle Fely's sudden death from a tragic accident in which a jeepney crashed into the tricycle he was driving. I was in a faraway city studying at the time. I was informed by a neighbor a week or so after my uncle was buried. My parents said, or so I heard, that hey didn't inform me at once for fear that I might be disturbed in my studies.

To be fair, I got special treatment from being the weakling. I guess they were all protecting me from physical and emotional frailty because they assumed I wouldn't be able to manage. I think they were right. I was indeed of a weak constituency. I was not into sports, I was often ill than most kids, I didn't know how to say no, I was not the assertive type but a retiring, shy, and timid one. I can't blame them, really.

But could they be expecting some tradeoff, that's why they were willing to protect me? My academic standing was seen as a promising one for my and my family's future; could it be that they were protecting this promise? What happened when I didn't deliver? Do they see me now as a failure or a disappointment?

Whether or not I didn't win their love, God loved me, showing His care and tender mercies along the way in different ways. If I felt I lacked human acceptance at home, it's alright -- I found it in other people He sent my way -- in the many friends and brothers and sisters and mother and father figures I have had.

In hindsight, it's okay to have been regarded as weak when it was an act of love. What's my problem with weakness anyway? Everyone is weak in one area or another. Besides, in the eyes of God, human weakness is His strength; my weakness led to me depend on God and realize how limitless I can trust in His strength, in His omnipotence.

Accursed? No, redeemed!

2011-07-26T18:08:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt that your life was accursed even before you were born, that is why you feel trapped in the kind of misery you're having right now? That's what I honestly have been thinking about my life of suffering (and I mean long-time existential, emotional, psychological suffering). This toxic thought was somewhat 'confirmed' when I heard my folks talking about the past sins of at least two relatives who had mocked a person for her weakness and that person audibly issued a curse for all eternity. She allegedly said, "I hope you also have a child who's a lumbering maladroit." (They actually called me lupitay and langgong in our 'vernacular' of Pangasinan.)

I strongly suspect the curse to have fallen on poor me. (Or tell me I am wrong.)

Why did it fall on me? Why did God allow it? Is it because I am the bad one or the weak one? Or is it because God deemed I am the one who is able to bear the cross? Is it because God saw that I am the one who will willingly offer everything as a sacrifice (to help in saving my wayward kin)? It's a mystery that looks like it won't ever be solved in this life. Is this thought even Christian? Whatever happened to the washing away of original sin, including the sins of my own forefathers, at baptism?

I used to deal with this mystery with some bitterness. I had my dose of the usual, "Why me, God?" "What have I done to deserve this?" But since complaining didn't work, I tried a new tack, a new strategy. How about embracing my cross?, I wondered one day.

I found out that that is easier said than done. It was more like enduring, for no one who's normal will want to drink a bitter pill. That would be masochism or sadism to self, which is another form of sickness.

Maybe I have finally found the clarity I was seeking when I saw everything under a whole new light: Am I really accursed? And if so, did I get the curse because God loves me? Could He love me so much He chose me because He believed I will be willing to love beyond the self by sharing in the carrying of His cross?

Am I deluding myself or what? Am I being messianic? But am I not just being Biblical? Not everyone who suffers is being punished; not everyone who looks like being punished is a sinner, as in the Biblical examples of the crippled man and those who perished near the fallen tower of Siloam (?).

From another perspective, specifically from the theory of problems being our own creation, could it be that this 'curse' is really my own punishment for myself, for my own mistakes? Isn't this thorn on the flesh self-inflicted, like almost all of my problems are?

I am of the strong suspicion (call it the decision of belief) that, since God allowed it, and whatever He allows is for my own good, then this thorn in the flesh is not a curse but a blessing in disguise, God's roundabout way of loving me and for me to discover love and learn how to love right.

Well, even if I turn out to be the fool from this, I will never have shortchanged myself nor anyone from loving more than I know I can bear. Because in case my suspicions prove to be true, then I win three times over: a) I will be saved, b) I will be saved together with the people I love, and c) I will make God happy for acceding to His will by way of His weird roundabout and reverse logic.

I think I’ve met the most humble man in the world

2011-07-26T16:33:00.001-07:00

I think I’ve met the most humble man in the world, and it is so humbling to meet such a man. It’s as though a mirror descended from heaven in the form of a tall 50-year-old man so I could see my sins more clearly.

That man is a priest named Fr. Cres Ubud, from a remote town in Cebu, the son (in a brood of five) of a poor couple living in the uplands. In a community retreat he gave, he told his life story in such a deceptively light and funny way that it cloaked some terrible truths, awful truths capable of shaking anyone deep within. He told us in vivid detail the terrible hardships he went through growing up, whether in the hands of his parents, family, relatives, political rebels, even the Church. He said he especially suffered from his mother, who was strict, punishing, and verbally harsh. He also said that he endured all sorts of ridicule from his kinsmen, all of whom were from a farming, unlettered background, who regarded Fr. Cres, as a young man, who was “a worm trying to reach heaven.” I am glad I heard him because he is exactly the kind of person who can expose my sins effortlessly, both old and new, which I wouldn’t have become more aware of had I not come.

A humble man is honest, not ashamed, because he doesn’t carry any psychological baggage. Fr. Cres reminded me of how ashamed I had been of my own background, especially the hardships in life I went through, although nothing in my experience can probably compare with Fr Cres’s sufferings. His honesty ironically gave him the confidence to tell his story without shame, because he was able to transcend all humiliations, as he allowed God to straighten everything that was crooked in his life.

A humble man takes whatever comes in life as part of the holy will of God. Not me. My favorite sin in complaining -- a lot. When it rains, I tend to say, “Oh no, it is raining!” And when the sun rises in midday, I’d say, “Oh no, it’s so hot and humid!” The reactions have become almost instinctive I forgot grumbling is a sin.

A humble man is detached from the world. In contrast, I have made an idol out of comfort. Trust me to complain of my lot in life whether I am stuck in traffic or I didn’t win the jackpot prize, instead of choosing to offer my privations and sufferings as a loving sacrifice.

A truly humble man sees everyone as equal and important (if not more important or better than him). Sometimes, I still fall into the trap of measuring my own worth (and consequently other people’s worth) in terms of the world’s (faulty) logic and (corrupt) standards.

A humble man has a simple (child-like) trust in God. Me? I tend to listen to false prophets outside until I become a prophet myself of anxiety, cynicism, distrust, despair.

A humble man loves his enemies, viewing them as God’s children too. I tend to hate my enemies, especially the detractors of the Catholic Church instead of engaging them in a more loving and peaceful way, because of my need to look good and my need to be right.

A humble man is deeply attuned to God. I tend to seek worldly knowledge instead of focusing more on the knowledge of God. It could be because I am more eager to please men than to please God.

A humble man is not easily misled. I can be quite careless with lies and untruths, especially those peddled by mass media. I tend to easily believe gossip, innuendoes, and half-truths as gospel truth, failing to see through the deception and hidden agenda.

There’s something about humility that disarms, especially the proud -- enough to expose things in that person, although in a gentle way, not in a condemning manner. I am grateful to have listened to such a humble man, for I was able to reassess how much Christianized I still need to become so far in my own journey of faith. After the quiet exposé, I was made sorrowful, but I was gladdened in no time by the knowledge that I was able to see my faults at all, and thankful that I was given a new chance to repent and atone. I know I still have miles to walk, but as the humble man of God has shown, I know the humble way is to put my trust in God, that God knows me far better than I know myself, and loves me more than I can possibly imagine. He will not condemn me so harshly and rashly as I do myself.

My (mis)adventures as a youth leader

2011-07-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

One unexpected ‘diversion’ in my life is being a religious youth leader. Never in my wildest dreams have I ever dreamt of leading the youth to get closer to God and hopefully to be a good role model as well. Leading a communist cadre was far more likely a possibility for me, given my personal background (poverty-stricken), but I have surprised even myself to find me where I was led to: a very uncomfortable place I never intended to be in.

While I had a long history of being elected as a leader, I never liked leading; I enjoyed following better, i.e., I liked to be led instead, especially by a leader I found charismatic enough to look up to. Besides, the time I was called into it as a “young working professional,” I had the same ambition as other people my age -– to be successful in what I do and slowly but surely work towards a stable if not a bright future. But it seems that it was never meant to be. I got 'sidetracked' by youth service in Church, bringing me instead to directions I never ever thought existed.

I am not sure what people saw in me, but in hindsight, I was often elected as a leader even without waging a political campaign. Did they all mistake that silence for profound wisdom instead of the reality of my painful shyness? I was shy to the point of reclusive, lacked initiative, had poor imagination, had no vision, and certainly had zero desire or motive to lead. I was too self-centered to be a leader. Besides, I didn’t need to be a leader, for I was the firstborn in a brood of seven, so I really had no choice but to act at home as the eldest. I was more of a democratic kind of an elder sibling, though, never bullying nor being peremptory to anyone. I was the one being bullied by my younger brother (the one next to me) and an elder cousin.

In grade school, I escaped bullying mainly because of my status as a class leader in academics. In kindergarten, I was a shameless crybaby, but I topped the class, a fact I would repeat, effortlessly I think, in Grades 1, 2, 3, 4, and 6. I fell to second place in Grade 5, with lots of eyebrows raising, especially my grandmother’s who didn’t doubt that my evil Grade 5 teacher Mrs. Paez practiced favoritism.

In high school, I graduated as the class salutatorian, so it was a kind of a failing for me. I must have felt that I didn’t live up to my name, but I was fine, to be fair, because I honestly thought that Jonathan, the class valedictorian who became a close friend, was fully deserving of the honor. Nevertheless, I couldn’t believe it myself that I started out as the class president (via election) in the first year (when only a handful of elementary schoolmates knew me), and was the class president of various clubs in succeeding years, including the Math Club, a club I had no right to be in because I hated the very subject. I also was a staffer of the school organ several times and even won writing contests in and out of school. (I never rose to editor, though.)

In college, I guess I lay low, for a change, not wishing to prove myself further because I didn’t have to; besides, I didn’t feel happy constantly proving my worth. The result was I lay so low I couldn’t remember any achievement, other than topping an exam in one algebra class, and that’s just by chance (and I’m not trying to be humble). The only other achievements were no achievements at all: being a member of the UP Biology Society (in which all I did was be a plain member) and the UP Student Catholic Action (both Baguio ‘chapters’). I wound up being the latter’s vice-president later, with responsibilities that were not that hard (sponsor Wednesday masses, go to an outreach for orphaned kids, etc.). Oh, in my fourth year, I do remember being elected as the batch representative of something having to do with student complaints (I couldn't even remember what it all was). A geology professor even exclaimed at me, “You’re popular!” You could say I got tired of the limelight in college, and being out of it was a pure choice, and when it hounded me again, it was too late: I was about to graduate in a few months. One fratman belonging to Scintilla Juris, in fact, told me, “How the heck did you escape our notice?” (But I was glad not to be hazed, thank you.) Alas, for that campus fraternity, I became popular again when it was time to say goodbye and move on to life after school.

I guess I didn’t like leading because there was quite a rebel inside of me that said I didn’t want to be responsible for anything. I wanted to be a normal kid – in fact, longed to be. I secretly wanted to be just like the rest: carefree, could afford to be irresponsible and still be loved and accepted. I must have been resenting responsibility because it was too heavy a burden for my young shoulders to bear. If I had agreed to any of them, it must be because I believed it was the way to court approval and win love.

It was, therefore, a ridiculous idea for me to be a servant-leader for the youth in a little transparochial lay religious community that I had joined in my desire to have a more enriching spiritual life.

I was thus a picture of incredulity when I was chosen to be among the servants under an existing youth leader. It should take no less than a miracle for me to even so much as say a hesitant yes –- and what did I know, it did indeed! God made sure there would be a miracle. Praying in the middle of dawn one day, I suddenly heard a loving but firm voice of an old man that said, “Resty, I want you to follow me.” I was stunned, though surprisingly not overcome by fear; I found myself not panicking, but I also found myself unable to say no to God. I would never forget that voice, and I learned from that voice that the entity I had been calling God was surprisingly fatherly, not a stern policeman. He's more of an Abba or Daddy. I cannot recall any experience like that nor have I ever heard God's voice that way again. (It was a very positive encounter, so I sure hope it won't be the first and last.)

Apparently, I doubted the first time I was assigned by a community elder (Tita Linda Vasquez) to the position. I remember asking God absentmindedly that I needed a proof of God’s will because I would never submit to anything created by human preferences. I didn’t expect God would grant this skeptic’s secret wish so swiftly. My yes, of course, would lead to a quaint personal history.

Being a servant-leader (emphasis on servant) for the youth broke new grounds for me, forcing me to really, really get out of my comfort zone just to level up with kids of ages 11 to 20 from mostly well-to-do families (relative to my background). I wish I could recall all the things I did, but maybe I just had to content myself with the highlights: planning and facilitating entire afternoons of activities including summer camps, giving talks of spiritual nature, meeting with total strangers as resource persons or consultants, acting in front of an audience in a short play, learning so many songs and group-singing in front of an audience (non-paying), helping produce and direct plays (it’s complicated work!), interacting quite intimately with children (and their parents and friends) from socioeconomic backgrounds several notches far removed from mine, bringing kids home to their parents late at night and to the southernmost and northernmost parts of the city (the most groan-inducing part; thank God I didn't know how to drive so we had to find one), going on outings to places I didn’t even know existed (the most thrilling part). One unexpected reward of all this is making friends with my fellow youth servants by going out on our own (you could say group-dating). These people are some of my closest friends up to this day.

I surely enjoyed all these mini-adventures but there’s always sacrifice involved, plus the constant heavy feeling of doubt (Why am I here? What am I doing? Why?). The worst part was I always had to forego something in favor of the service God called us to. For example, when a dear cousin came back to town from Japan after a few years of working, he was looking for me and I was far away in Laguna or Cavite conducting a summer camp for the kids.

Serving the youth, however, led me to this other, most unexpected adventure: the heartbreak, in my mind, of not being compensated by God for my effort. There were times I felt burnt out, left out because I spent the best of my youth serving total strangers and I couldn’t even brag about it because it was always a team effort and I was quite incapable and inadequate. I couldn't seem to do God's assigned work the best way possible. I often complained to God in frustration, “Where, oh where, oh God, are the people better equipped in this?”

Sometimes, I even lapsed into feeling resentful because, despite the sacrifice of service, I felt that I wasn’t rewarded nor was I even recognized. I was working in a job that’s not my dream job, I was still single, I had no savings and investments and properties, and worst of all, my health was beginning to be a bother for me.

After a long struggle with my self and God, I’ve finally found the courage to thank God for all these setbacks somehow, because they exposed the real me. I felt so naked for being such a charlatan all along, serving God with the unspoken desire to be amply rewarded –- in short, serving God with a selfish agenda. Maybe I was also quite incredulous that God would ask me to serve people I didn't expect to serve. Well, I was expecting to serve the least: orphans, marginalized, etc., but God's ways are so strange.

Growing up with the notion that love should be earned, at the back of my mind, I seemed to have expected God to do the same as I thought my parents did or should have done: honor me with rewards, of recognition, honor or adulation at least. Worse, the many I-could-have-beens made me regretful and wondering whether following what I heard from God was well worth it, whether I made the right choice or not.

It didn’t occur to me at once that whatever reward I would have would be given to me in the next life, and the happy twist, as we all know and believe, is that it would be eternal.

I now put my faith and trust in the Lord that this is true. After quite a long sabbatical after I’ve given up serving the youth to search myself, I am back in the little community again, ever-ready for new service, without the illusion that I would be hopefully ignored for the more challenging ones (i.e., the services I least like and expect, like serving the youth, haha).

In whatsoever case, I hereby choose at this juncture to be happy, peaceful, satisfied, and fulfilled, with whatever I have right now, seeing how I’ve been enriched another way. I choose to be of service even without recognition and reward, to anyone of God's own choosing, in the thought that having served is a privilege, not a burden.

After all, if God didn’t call me in this, what could I have done and where would I be now in my spiritual life? I might have been very successful in terms of career, but I would most likely be hopelessly corrupt as well, very far away from the will of God in my life. I may not have the best of everything, but He is taking care of me. I still have a job that sustains me. I have a borrowed roof to protect me from the elements. I have clothes and shoes to wear. The future? I entrust it to God.

I figure that God must have set everything up for me, after all, for my own good and not just the good of my wards. As the tired refrain in community says, “God is not to be outdone in generosity.” (He is a God of embarrassing riches, of an unending universe, for Pete’s sake.) After all, He knows best what my weaknesses are, what I can and can’t handle, and especially what is best for me.

Retreat reflection: God indeed writes straight with crooked lines

2011-07-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

In my Catholic life, I have heard the Biblical definition of ecclesia perhaps a hundred of times that I am most likely tired of hearing it described as a human body, with some members being the head and some being the ears, eyes, nose, hands, feet, and so on. I tend to forget that a Bible passage should be reflected upon on three other levels beyond the literal. If this lazy Bible reader exerted so much as an effort (it's easy to use the alibi that I am no theologian nor exegete), I would most likely keep on reflecting the usual way: What is my role in the body of Christ? Can I pass for a mouth, to proclaim the truth of the gospel in my own small way?

I am thus very thankful for the retreat given by Fr. Cres (Cresenciano?) Ubud of ___ Parish, ___ town, Cebu, who flew over to Manila and traveled all the way down to Calamba, Laguna (at Rancho Elena) just to open our eyes anew and be enlightened and inspired in God's ever surprising ways. Reading the passage about the body of Christ twice a la Lectio Divina, I was slowly reminded how I have been before community and even while I was growing in community.

I grew up as the eldest in a family that I felt pressured to be like this and like that. That was the constant refrain in my young life: "Dapat active ka sa school (at kahit saan). Dapat ganito ka. Dapat ganun." That was, of course, my parents' and relatives' way of telling me they loved me that they expected so highly of me and that they wanted me to be the best I could be.

Alas, in my immature mind, I had read a different message through it: I thought I was a bad person, not good enough as I was, not deserving of love unless I earned it. This little thought slowly became one whole big story in my head and my heart until it got to mean other things like, "I should indeed do all that to win their love and acceptance." Worse, it bore much more bad, complicated fruits like, "Yes, indeed, if other people should be any good, they should be like what people around me say they should be: intelligent, achiever, competent, successful, articulate, not timid or shy, strong, the best in everything."

I carried this bad impressions with me unconsciously throughout as I joined community and slowly learned the Christian way of life. Without even knowing, I tended to look down on people whom I thought were inferior according to the world's standards. If I felt that someone was not as good as I was in grammar and spelling, for example, I would secretly look down on that person. Of course, it didn't help that I went to a school that expected its graduates to be the best in everything, although to be fair, it also constantly preached that all that gift should be in the service of the people. The worst part of my story is that, whenever I perceived that I had failed in other people's expectations, I would think of myself as a failure or a shame. This brought me into unnecessary anxieties and depressive thoughts and feelings, that I needed to seek all sorts of professional help outside.

For a time, I was quite effective in being what others want me to be, but in the end, I was never happy and satisfied because I was always buying love.

Rereading that passage in the Bible about the body of Christ reminded me of my old mistakes, but I am also thankful that I have grown and matured a bit from my juvenile impressions. I realize I now understand life and the world better: that it is okay to strive to be the best I can be, but it's also okay not to be perfect because no one is meant to be "perfect"; everyone is important in the eyes of God; each one of us is designed to complete the rest of the body of Christ. There is equality despite the dissimilarity, there is unity despite the diversity. It is now absurd to me to think of myself or others as superior or inferior when we are all children of God with specific roles and missions in this life and beyond. It's equally absurd to look down and envy or look up too highly of people to the point of idolatry of mere creatures. I realized how much I've been badly infected by the conventional but twisted logic of the world, but thanks to Fr. Cres' reminder, I realize I have risen up and grown from that cesspool of corrupt thought and am now
relatively free.

***

I am not surprised to hear a lot of members say how the latest retreat we had is the best. Well, not to compare, but all of our retreats have been simply the best in the sense that they each conveyed the message we needed to hear at exactly that moment. If we heard this retreat earlier, we might not have been ready for it yet.

***

From the very start of the day we were to have this retreat, I knew that indeed it would be very special. Why? Because the devil did double-time work in discouraging me and Kuya Monching and Ate Yay, with whom I joined the ride to Rancho Elena (together with Cris and Ate Zeny). There were at least three miscommunications about the travel directions along the way, including where to wait for their car. Nearing Calamba, we took the wrong part of the expressway and then we passed through an uncomfortably rough road with an "Indiana Jones type of bridge" (in the words of Kuya Monching) that scared us. It turned out to be the wrong road to take. But as Kuya Monching said, "Naligaw man tayo ng landas, nakarating din tayo sa tuwid at tamang daan." (We may have taken the wrong path at the start, but in the end we were able to reach the right one.)

***

It strikes me how Kuya Monching's quip (he's very good at spiritual metaphors!) somewhat sums up what we've heard in Fr. Cres' retreat. We each have our own distorted way of viewing life, God, the world, others and ourselves. It can't be helped, for we are all but human. But thanks be to the sanctifying power of God's perspectives as revealed in the truths of the gospel through the reminders of Fr. Cres's powerful testimonies told in deceptively funny jokes, I am confident that we are led to a much clearer path in terms of how to move forward in our Christian life. For us in community, we now have a template, as Kuya Mel Astovesa said, from which to craft a plan of concrete action, i.e., how to be specifically an effective "priest, prophet and king" to everyone in community and in the rest of our lives. I, for one, certainly feel refreshed and empowered, with my mind and heart and soul cleansed of their many cobwebs of corrupt thoughts and feelings.

Thank God I was able to join this retreat.

Retreat Summary

2011-07-25T19:32:00.000-07:00

Retreat Summary
(based on the retreat given by Fr. Cresenciano Ubud of Cebu to the Risen Lord's Vineyard Community on July 24-25, 2011 at Rancho Elena, Calamba City, Laguna)

Title: Growing Together in Grace as a Body of Christ

I. Definition of terms

What is growth? Growth means change.

We don't like change, even though it's the only thing that's permanent in this world. Why? Because change involves loss, the loss of a comfort zone. We don't like change because we don't like its emotional impact: pain.

Growth --> Change --> Loss
↓ ↓

Gain Pain

But growth in Christ can only be gain. No pain, no gain.

***

What is grace? Grace is a gift of God that sanctifies (makes holy) us.

Since everything in creation belongs to and is created by God, everything is meant to sanctify us. Every person sanctifies us (even the bad). But everything that sanctifies us can also bring us to hell when we don't know how to handle blessings. Blessings can make us sinners if we are not careful. If we use everything for the body of Christ, then or blessings bring sanctification.

***

What is the body of Christ? The answer is in 1Cor. 12:12-30.

The body of Christ has four elements:

1. Every part is important.
2. Every part is working for the sake of others.
3. If one part suffers, the whole body suffers also.
4. If one part is honored, the whole body is honored.

Everyone in the body of Christ is other-centered.

To suffer for others means:

- accepting pain
- saying I'm hurt but I'm not blaming
- sharing the shame; continuing being a part of that person despite the shameful thing he did.

Being part of the body of Christ means being 'abnormal,' or transcending what is normal (or logical in the world's thinking). For example, no one claims his or her own personal honor, but claims the honor as a product of joint effort.

There is what we call the mystical body of Christ:

1. triumphant church - saints in heaven
2. suffering church - souls in purgatory
3. militant church - we the living

***

II. Being a Body of Christ

How do we work as a body of Christ? Answer: Through the three-fold offices of Christ: priestly, prophetic, and kingly offices.

Priestly office (1Pt 2:5,9-10) - the priestly office brings Faith.

Are we a priest of God, or a priest of Satan? (Satan is always present wherever God is, as in the Garden of Eden.) In any case, there are three basic functions to fulfill:

Priest of God vs Priest of Satan

1. Offers sacrifices* 1. Seeks comforts
2. Prays always (formal and personal prayer) 2. Works always
3. Loves sacraments 3. Loves human traditions (such as superstitions)

*Sacrifice means foregoing or setting aside something for God.

If you are a priest of God, trust in His blessings for today! (Don't we pray, "Give us THIS DAY our daily bread?") Make your plan, but the present portion of that plan is your responsibility, and the greater part should be entrusted to God. Worrying about the future is Satan's deception. If you pray, don't worry.

Don't be deceived by pain. After pain comes happiness.

What does blessing mean? Blessing means three things:

- thanksgiving, in recognition that the gift or grace came from God
- entrusting the gift to God because it is His after all
- committing to be a steward of the gift

What do we gain as a priest of God? The power of God!

Remember how St. Paul prayed through his work "day and night."

Satan has no power when we have no worries, fears, anxieties, for fear is the stronghold of Satan. Satan will be conquered when we are no longer afraid to die. Why fear death, when after we die, we live again, for eternity?

What if comforts in life are already there? The key is detachment. Don't be attached to comfort.

The twist is, once we sacrifice, there is comfort. Then we share the comfort. The key lies in setting the level of our contentment.

Prophetic Office (Gal 1:6-11) - the prophetic office brings Hope

Are we a prophet of God, or a prophet of Satan?

There are three functions to fulfill:

Prophet of God vs Prophet of Satan

1. Preaches good news* 1. Preaches bad news
2. Seeks divine knowledge 2. Seeks scientific knowledge
3. Tells the truth 3. Tells lies

*Preaching the good news means preaching out of love (1Cor 3), encouraging, unburdening.
Preaching bad news means making one anxious.

One practical way of telling the truth is turning gossip into sharing or testimony of one's own weaknesses.

What do we gain from being a prophet of God? Divine Inspiration (not human inspiration)!

Kingly Office (Lk 22:24-30) - the kingly office results in a Life of Love

Are we a king of God or a king of Satan?

King of God vs King of Satan

1. Serves the least* 1. Serves the elite**
2. Leads with humility 2. Leads with pride
3. Loves friends and enemies 3. Loves friends and kills enemies

*Aside from the obvious (poor and marginalized people), "the least" can mean the emotionally least or people we don't like. People who are least in status are easier to help because there is no emotional involvement.

**Likewise, "the elite" may mean not just the elite in terms of socioeconomic status, but also our favorite people or the people closest to our hearts.

Love is inclusive, not exclusive.

What do we gain from being a king of God? Lasting Happiness!

A loving person is always happy.

Joy after pain is true happiness. Joy without (before?) pain is shallow happiness and could end in lasting suffering.

***

III. Assignment

Have a system of action in which you can be a priest, prophet, and king in community. Extend the application to family, workplace, bigger community.

The past and the future

2011-07-21T17:25:00.000-07:00

"It's good to value the past – just as Mary Magdalene and the disciples forever treasured their three years with Jesus and repeatedly told others about it – but we should also value what God is planning for the future, even if we don't yet know what that future holds. As scary or lonely as that future seems now, God will be with you, and he will be very good to you!"

Quote

2011-07-18T22:39:00.001-07:00

"The servant-king suffered pain with joy." - forgot where I got this

On discouragement

2011-07-18T18:50:00.001-07:00

There can only be one source of inspiration in the face of discouraging things in life: 2Cor.4:16-5:18.

Nouwen on being chosen

2011-07-18T00:51:00.000-07:00

Nouwen has this great talent in uncovering and disrupting the orthodox or conventional logic of the world.

------------------------------
"Being Chosen"

"Jesus is taken by God or, better, chosen by God. Jesus is the
Chosen One. From all eternity God has chosen his most precious
Child to become the savior of the world. Being chosen
expresses a special relationship, being known and loved in a
unique way, being singled out. In our society our being chosen
always implies that others are not chosen. But this is not true
for God. God chooses his Son to reveal to us our chosenness.
In the Kingdom of God there is no competition or rivalry.
The Son of God shares his chosenness with us. In the Kingdom
of God each person is precious and unique, and each person
has been given eyes to see the chosenness of others and rejoice
in it."

Sharp atheism quotes

2011-07-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

‎'"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyles. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable." ~Pope John Paul II"

"If there were no God, then there would be no Atheists." ~G.K. Chesterton

‎"Thank God I am still an Atheist!" - An Atheist

"There are no atheists in foxholes."

‎"Don't like gay marriages? Don't get one. Don't like cigarettes? Don't smoke them. Don't like abortions? Don't get one. Don't like sex? Don't have it. Don't like drugs? Don't do them. Don't like porn? Don't watch it. Don't like alcohol? Don't drink it. Don't like guns? Don't buy one. Don't like your rights taken away? Don't take away someone else's."

God's creation of the world is all about us

2011-07-14T16:56:00.001-07:00

This story reminds me of the Genesis story. This world is all about us, how God purposefully created each being, no matter how ugly or scary to us, for our own benefit.

http://globalnation.inquirer.net/5952/loss-of-big-predators-disrupts-earth-ecosystem%e2%80%94study

Bible study notes

2011-07-14T01:09:00.000-07:00

(from Bible study lecture by ____ Cavins)

Genesis parallels

Eve's birth of Abel is the first fruitful suffering, redemptive suffering. This prefigures Mary's birth of Jesus. Mary is the new Eve.

Jesus Christ, of course, is the new Adam.

**

The line about "the woman and the redeemer" is the first good news or protoevangelism.

**

Four levels of interpreting the Bible:

literal
allegorical
moral (application of the passage to you, the reader, right now)
anagogical (implications for the future, i.e., the coming Kingdom of God)

Example:

literal - passage about Jerusalem temple
allegorical - Jerusalem temple = Christ (who said, "Destroy this temple and in three days, I will make it rise again.")
moral - the human body is the temple of the Holy Spirit
anagogical - after this life is the New Jerusalem

Paradox of genesis

2011-07-14T01:07:00.002-07:00

"Out of chaos, cosmos. Out of nothing came time and space, light and life, the filling of void, and rules to govern it."

Question: Where did God reside before He created time and space?
Answer: Nothing. He must be in a divine nothingness and emptiness.

Paradox of control

2011-07-14T01:07:00.000-07:00

Man has this struggle to control life. But life is life, and we're just a part of it. Life must flow on through us. We are the avenues of life, not the source of it.

When we know that we can control life for so much, we know that we are not the ones who are really in control. When we know that we are not the ones who are really in control, we are free (from being such control freaks).

The paradox of Christian service

2011-07-12T18:51:00.001-07:00

Last Sunday at the community assembly (Kassel Condo Penthouse, Taft cor. Vito Cruz, Manila), our Music Ministry (MM) members were missing. The whole bunch of them was in Meycauayan, Bulacan, on a youth outreach, together with a few key leaders. This meant we were to sing a capella during Mass and worship. We expected a lousy Mass and worship ahead, but we were in for a surprise.

What happened was, as noted by Kuya Ed, everybody sang like a member of the Music Ministry, wary as we were of the gaping hole the MM members' absence left. Expecting to be crippled by silence, we sang our hearts out instead. Of course, we would much prefer that the singers and musicians were all there, but the Mass and the worship were no less solemn and uplifting.

I couldn't help but gush and be humbled. "Wow, we can survive without the Music Ministry!"

It dawned on me God doesn't need us. After all, He can easily replace the ministry, or any other service group for that matter, with other people.

Serving Him, I was reminded, is more a privilege than a sacrifice. If we think we give too much in service, invest too huge a sum or energy and emotion, we are mistaken. The service was made available to us, for our own good! Even when on the surface we are the one giving unselfishly, giving our all, we actually are getting something good and virtuous from the service, if only we look hard. For example, maybe had we not been in service, we could be servicing the world and the devil in many creative ways. Or we could be growing stale or rusty as half-baked Christians.

This opened my eyes to this unraveling pattern in the spiritual life, particularly the nature of Christian service. In accepting the call to serve, there is a secret, a surprise to anyone who dares say yes: we get more than we give.

How do I deal with depression and loneliness?

2011-07-12T18:50:00.001-07:00

That's a question G. asked me over online chat the other day. Surprisingly, I found it quite easy to answer now. I hope I have answered him satifactorily, but if given another chance, I would answer this way:

First, be sure that the loneliness or depression is 'real,' that is, really emotional in nature. Certain foods and drugs can bring it about. Do you have food sensitivities? Avoid those food items. Have you been on medication lately? If you can't get rid of it, you probably have no choice but ignore it or at least avoid focusing on the feeling, although I know it's hard. You may need to surround yourself with positive people in a stress-free environment. Depression may also be caused by withdrawal from addictions, such as caffeine, nicotine, or legal and illegal drugs.

Second, if it is real depression (whether it be nonclinical or clinical), self-awareness is important. What made you feel lonely or depressed? You will want to know. This is the paradox of self-awareness: What you don't know controls you; the moment you know what's there, it is no longer there; you are instantly liberated. This takes time, though. Be patient with yourself, for in time, it will reveal itself through your subconscious/unconscious at the oddest hour, as when you are brushing your teeth or doing the laundry, i.e., moments when you are least guarded or least in the defensive mode.

The third point is even more crucial: We really can't control our feelings and emotions, and I am talking only of reflex reactions. It's only human to feel the four basic feelings of fear, anger, sadness, and happiness, and any of their combinations. What we have power over is our own reaction to the feeling: We can choose to

- endure it heroically, or
- wallow in it self-destructively, or
- find a healthy distraction (such as reverting to an old hobby), or
- find an unhealthy one, i.e., medicating the pain via an assortment of painkillers and analgesics and anesthesizers/anesthetics (sex, drugs, food, shopping, other addictions), or most preferably,
- act according to a decision (a positive, opposite one) despite the feeling.

As for "healthy distractions," what I do is to generally be kind to myself by treating me to something new, exciting, adventurous, or thrilling without being self-destructive. Of course, I mean new or old movies, plays, novels, museums, malls, food, travels, sounds, and so on.

If I find myself penniless, however, I listen to what a friend used to say: "Learn to sublimate the pain." After looking up the multisyllabic word in the dictionary, I got the idea in the form of another multisyllabic word: it means transcending the pain by perhaps not just looking at what is causing it on the surface but more deeply: Do I have certain needs that are unmet? What are these, and how can I address the problem concretely? In case I have no choice, how else would I react to the lack of it? What should my attitude be if I am to survive, to live with the constant presence of my major stressor?

At this point, it's good to take stock of one's life and reassess whether we are exaggerating or misinterpreting some things. For me, I always revert to the power of the archives or scrapbooks. I review my past writing entries or look over my old scrapbooks again to remind myself how I have been blessed. In this seemingly trivial exercise of self-therapy, I am always humbled to the point of embarassment whenever I see proof upon proof of how I was taken care of, how I was lavished by God with wonderful suprises beyond my imagination.

I was not exactly blessed by God in the usual way that most people are blessed with supermodel looks, fantastic family life, house and lot and a new car, terribly romantic dates, wads of cash, and so on, but I've realized I had een so much blessed in my chosen lifestyle as a writer. I realize I was gifted with the ability to enjoy a lot of things most people don't get excited about. I've realized I'm quite adventurous in so many little ways, that I am able to appreciate certain nuances about art and literature, writing, theater, film, food, travel, music, or even fields I thought I had zero interest in: birdwatching, anthropology, economics, sociology, psychology, language/rhetoric, medicine/alternative medicine/health, politics, law, criminology, history, and the junctions or lines transecting them.

I am also blessed with a lot of friends -- in various communities and support groups, in the schools and workplaces of my past, not to mention my big family and cabal of relatives.

I also revel at the spiritual blessings I've been bestowed with: the many, many sins uncovered that I would never have otherwise known; the many mind-expanding insights from retreats, masses, recollections, and spiritual books; and the little and big acts of charity and kindness I was privileged to do. I would like to believe that these spiritual investments, whose dividends are invisible to the naked eye, are forever, have eternal consequences, no matter how trivial and passing they may look at first glance.

Last but not least, I hold on to God as my ultimate joy and treasure, that with Him, I may have nothing but I have everything.

Whenever I remind myself of these gifts, I am reminded that I have lost the right to mope and wallow in the mire of self-pity. When I consider all that I have that money can't buy, I give the lie to my own claim that I am poor, lonely, and miserable. I've, in fact, gotten and been given so much in life! I have had a full plate despite my material poverty, so why am I sobbing again and being an altogether helpless crybaby?

Then again, it's also okay to cry whenever I feel like it -- after all, I'm no stoical robot, either; after all, tears also heal (at least the tears that make us feel good after). What matters in the end is what I do after all that shedding of tears is done. Would I sing about, paint, or write the greatest masterpiece about despair, like Kafka, or would I pick up the pieces, rise up from the ashes? The latter is a tired cliche, I know, but better a tired but truthful cliche than a treacherous and deadly copout or capitulation to satanic temptations.

The sacristans return from Manila

2011-07-05T22:00:00.001-07:00

I've always wondered how it feels to be a sacristan. I've never been one because, when the one and only opportunity came, either I wasn't allowed by my parents outright, or I sensed their hesitation so I hesitated myself. It didn't help that my parents were not the typical active churchpeople. I must have envied my elementary school classmates who served in the Mass wearing immaculate white and perfectly pressed vestments that erased whatever impression of naughtiness they had outside the church.

My cousin D. was one of them -- his parents were the active churchy types, and I noticed he became fast friends with the other sacristans from the rival school. Among his new friends was R., who looked every inch a naughty rich kid whom I wanted to be friends with as well (because he was completely different).

I was an active Catholic at the time mainly because of my devout grandmother (father's side), but when our entire class had a two-day weekend retreat in a religious house in Calasiao town, I was unable to join. It could be that my parents frowned at the extra expense. After my classmates came back from it on Monday, they wouldn't stop telling each other over and over, including the sacristans, all that adventure of crying they shared. I felt a tinge of envy and regret for not going. Feeling left out, now I had to wonder as well how it felt to go through a religious retreat.

These events in my young life did not presage what was to come later -- for the wheels of fortune would bring things to a total reversal.

I've been an active charismatic Catholic for about two decades now, so I can say I am an active Catholic, serving the Church as a member of a lay transparochial community. One day, in one Mass sponsored by the community, I was accidentally asked to assist the priest because JR, the usual sacristan, was absent. Of course, I didn't come prepared with the required white vestment and everything. Needless to say, I was quite stressed, because I was so clueless I was afraid I'd do everything wrong. The poor priest must have sensed my anxiety, because he would gesture to me what to do next at each and every step. It was so embarrassing especially when I didn't know how exactly to ring the bell in time for consecration. I was afraid I might ring it like an ice cream vendor did!

As for retreats, well, there never was a year I didn't go to at least two retreats or recollections: Lenten retreat, Advent recollection, planning session cum retreat, Mass doubling as recollection, etc.

I wish I could say that I had my former sacristan classmates as inspiration, because the truth is, I came to like the quasireligious life on my own. In my college years up to early working life, I was deep in searching -- I wasn't contented with my life as a Sunday Catholic, the constant drive to achieve, being driven by ambition for myself and my family. Maybe I matured prematurely, but at that stage in my life, I already had a strong sense that the rat race was a corrupt, self-centered race to the top that would only bring me spiritual ruin and unhappiness. I guess I was searchng for balance. It could also be that that was the way God was calling me.

Sometimes, I wonder where my childhood friends are now in their spiritual life. There was a time I got disillusioned with them. One day, many months after high school graduation, I saw some of them around the corner in our old provincial town, and we traded stories about college life and how we each settled into the big city. I was dismayed to hear some of my closest friends exchanging conspiratorial laughs over their respective initiation into the notorious "beerhouses" (prostitution dens) of Manila. I was totally incredulous because, somehow, the strongest mental images of them I held on to was as sacristans in immaculate white and as euphoric weekend retreatants. I was shocked to see them transform from altar saints to stallions. "Ah," I lamented, "how people change."

Maybe I was looking too much for a model or a hero of the faith perhaps because I couldn't find it in me. But I wasn't able to find it in my peers either. Worse, I even mistakenly thought along the way that I should somewhat take after them because that how things are: boys will be boys.

Maybe I was looking at the wrong direction. Today, at least four of my friends admit to having an extramarital affair. At least one of us, R., is now divorced.

I hope everyone of my friends has found or are friends with God again, as I have found mine. Or in the reverse language of Christianity, I pray God would hound each of them, though I'm pretty sure He's always been, since we are always the ones who turn away from God. Maybe the right prayer is, "May they open their hearts to God again, in His own time."

You broke me

2011-06-25T05:27:00.000-07:00

My whole life has been a long list of should be this, should be that. I should be successful. I should be a leader. I should be tough like a real man. I should be rich. I should always be intelligent. I should know it all (maybe except anything with math). I should be a role model. I should have certain material things in life. I should look handsome. I should have a perfect body build and flawless fair skin. I should always be adorable. I should be the good boy that I've always been. I should have a wife and kids at this age. I should always be on top. I should go abroad. I should earn dollars.

My whole life has been a long list of should be this, should be that --

a) because of what other people told me,
b) because I believed them and took them up as my identity, and
c) because of what I did as a result and what I told myself when I failed.

I felt like everything that could be wrong in life all landed on my lap. There have also been a lot of ways, mostly subtle, that a lot of people told me I was unhappy, or should be.

Because of this, I've been so self willed. All my life has been about imposing my will (which is really other people's well-meaning will for me) on God. I've also become pessimistic, critical, despairingly sad and hopeless, not to mention always envious and insecure, which adds yet another layer of sin to my multiple sins, not to mention being perfectionist. And so my life, or my many misinterpretations of it, is killing me.

No wonder I always have something to complain about. Now wonder I am always upset, always wanting to get what I want even if I can't. Instead of being thankful for my blessings, for the little and big things I have that I don't even see, I always focus on what is missing, on what is lacking. When I was growing up at home in Pangasinan, I always dreamed I was living in Manila. When I was studying in UP Baguio, I thought I would only be satisfied and happier if I transfered to the Diliman campus. Now that I live in Manila, and I feel unsatisfied with it, because there are things Manila doesn't have that Pangasinan and Baguio have, I now dream of living in New York instead, or probably in a First World country, anywhere but here.

Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me a million times for my uncountable mistakes.

I choose Your will over mine in all of my life. I've done that before but this shameful clump of dirt and dust easily forgets. Help me always to remind myself what I chose: You.

Bible references re humility in the context of being a child of God

2011-06-22T21:27:00.001-07:00

Got this compilation from an old CLP talk:

Phil 1:27-2:11
Rom. 2:3
Rom 12:3
Is. 40:12-15

Job 38-42 - the classic passages putting man in his place vis a vis God

Counterbalancing thoughts, lest we be depressed by our sins/weaknesses through false humility and low self-esteem (ie as a result of basing our self-esteem based on the world's approval)

Is 43:1-4
Eph 1:4
Jn 3:16
1Cor 12:7
Ps 139 - notice the last stanza which expresses raw hate for what is evil and evil men
2Tim 1:7 - a Christian is not timid but has power, love and self-control

See also: http://te-deum.blogspot.com/2009/01/bishop-allen-vignerons-10-rules-for.html Bishop Allen Vigneron's "10 Rules for handling disagreement like a Christian"

Txt msgs

2011-06-20T01:42:00.000-07:00

Good things come to those who wait, better things to those who try, best things to those who believe, desired things to those who pray.

We can't (or may not be able to) change reality but we can change the eyes that see reality. Look at good, the true, and the beautiful.

Health doesn't come from medicine. It comes from peace of mind, peace in the heart, peace of soul, laughter, love, and faith in God.

In order to create, there must be a dynamic force. And what force is greater than love? - Igor Stravinsky

We heal our minds whenever we let bad memories go. We heal our hearts whenever we forgive. And we heal our souls whenever we pray.

The closer you walk with God, the clearer you see his guidance, and wherever he guides, he provides.

A perfect life cannot be found in wealth because riches can be taken away, not in popularity for popular people can be forgotten, not in beauty for beauty is not permanent, not in intelligence because it doesn't make use a higher creation of God. instead, a perfect life can be found in contentment with things we have, love we give, and we get from the people around us and from faith in God who gives us everything.

The art of being happy lies in the power of finding happiness in ordinary things. Life doesn't foce us to be the best. It only asks that we try.

When we touch the sick and needy, we touch the suffering body of Christ. - Mother Teresa

Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be full. (Jn 16:24)

Fruitfulness vs success, etc.

2011-06-11T00:43:00.000-07:00

The divine love of God reveals to us that fruitfulness is more important than success, that love of God is more important than the praise of people, that community is more important than individualism and compassion more important than competition.

- Henry Nouwen

Ang karunungan ay galing hindi sa utak kundi sa puso at kaluluwa

2011-06-10T22:47:00.001-07:00

Sabi ni ni Sister Raquel, "Kapag ang puso mo ay mapagpala, matatanaw mo ang walang hanggan." Ang karunungan ay galing hindi sa utak kundi sa puso at kaluluwa,...

To be in love with God is not much different from falling and being in love with humans

2011-06-08T22:14:00.001-07:00

True love is a decision, though, not based on feeling, because feeling wanes after the euphoria.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PXY1L8MSqY

What the Emmaus walk is about

2011-05-10T00:57:00.001-07:00

It is about the presence of Jesus in trying times, the presence of God in the face of disappointment.

Txt msgs

2011-04-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

Accept the teaching of the world and hopeless you will be. but trust in Gods eternal plan if you want life that's free.

When your life is in darkness pray to God. Ask Him to free you from darkness. After you have prayed and you are still in darkness please pay your electric bills. :p

you must not tell God when he must act or even how. Your responsibility is to pray unceasingly and trusting him to act according to his perfect will.

The world's happiest friends never have the same characters. They just have the best understanding of their differences.

once in a while good people need a reminder of how special and lovable they are. with this message consider yourself reminded.

The poor and needy everywhere are objects of Gods love and care, but they will always know despair unless his love with them we share.

Do not think of the few things you did not get after praying. Think of the countless and beautiful things God gave you without asking.

Lord when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing help me to remember that your love is always better than my dreams.

No one is more loved and appreciated in this world than a person who lightens the burden of another. This is how God rewards kindness.

A person that has a happy spirit doesn't easily get tired and is always disposed to do good. We've been created for a greater purpose so we should never allow ourselves to fall into things that remove the kindness and love from our hearts.

The bird

2011-04-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

Let's travel light, without the baggage of sadness, grudges, pain, fear, and regrets.

The turtle

2011-04-19T22:27:00.000-07:00

My bearings are not light. God allowed me to carry such luggage, for it is the only way that I am protected. - Anon.

Txt msgs

2011-04-01T04:23:00.001-07:00

Txt msgs from Mitz Grazilla

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13

The testing of your faith produces patience. James 1:3

Enlighten what is dark in me; strengthen, weak; mend, broken; bind, bruised; heal, sick; straighten, crooked; revive whatever peace and love have died in me.

Lord, watch over those whose names You can read in my heart. Guard them with every care and make their way easy and their labor fruitful. Dry their tears if they weep. Sanctify their joys. Raise their courage if they weaken. Restore their hope if they lose heart. Restore their health if they be ill. Truth if they err. Repentance if they fall. In Jesus’ name.

God gives peace to those who are quiet before Him.

God will not permit any troubles to come upon us, unless He has a specific plan by which great blessing can come out of the difficulty.

Most of us desire a perfect situation, a perfect life. Yet You, my Lord, do not grant a perfect life. What You give instead is a perfect heart in the midst of an imperfect life. Teach me to be cheerful, hopeful, smiling amidst imperfections and to enjoy Your wondrous blessings every moment in time.

Never be beggars of love, always be donors of love.

God allows life to be rocky. His challenge is not to let the rocks grind you into dust, but to polish you to a brilliant gem.

Some lessons are best learned through pain. Sometimes our visions become clear only after our eyes are washed with tears. Sometimes we have to be broken, so we can be whole again. If God meant a day to be perfect, He would not have invented tomorrow. Whatever your heart feels, trust God for it.

Find joy in every simple thing and see beauty in every situation when times are difficult. Remember that no pain comes without a purpose.

Don’t give in to worry or anger. It only leads to trouble. Ps 37:8

My grace is sufficient for you. 2 Cor 12:9

Happiness is somewhere between too little and too much. You should have just enough wealth to meet your needs but enough poverty to learn how to work hard to keep you strong. Who you are is God’s gift to you, but who you become is your gift to God.

Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. Matt 5:8

Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and he shall strengthen your heart. Ps 27 1-4

Behind every event, God has a purpose. At times what we consider a trial is simply his permission to rearrange our lives to be more meaningful.

There comes a moment each day when we must simply let go of our burdens and hand it over to God. May the Lord bless you with what you pray for. Reward you with what you work for. Grant you with what you hope for. And above all, surprise you with what you have not asked for.

This is life, it can never be absolutely happy, it can never be perfectly made. It will always have its twists and turns, ups and downs. It will make you strong and have faith, sometimes make you cry and suffer but it will make you stand and learn that no matter how difficult it is, there will always be many reasons to smile.

Narrow is the gate and difficult is the way that leads to life. Matt 7 14

Bless the Lord my soul; do not forget all the gifts of God, who pardons all your sins, heals all your ills, delivers your life from the pit, surrounds you with love and compassion. Ps 103 2-4

Nobody has the power to make things perfect but everyone is given countless chances to make things right.

When we are thankful for what we have, we want to share it with others.

Trust in the Lord forever! For the lord is an eternal rock. Is 26 4

The way to become wise is to honor the Lord. He gives sound judgment to all who obey his commands. He is to be praised forever. Ps 111 10

But you have mercy on all, because you can do all things, and you overlook the sins of men that they may repent. Wis 11 23

A life well lived is simply a collection of days well spent and years of accumulated memories. Make each day a journey of love, kindness and gladness for everyone.

Circumstances and situations do color life but you have been given the mind to choose what the color will be.

Doing good to others is not a duty. It is a joy, for it increases your own health and happiness.

The secret of friendship is concern. The secret of love is sacrifice. The secret of happiness giving. The secret of life is God.

No one is strong enough to bear his burdens alone.

With you all things are possible. We can place our problems in your care and that in you we can find rest.

Happiness begins at the point of acceptance. The point when we stop questioning why sometimes things are unfair.

If you have never felt my pain how would you know I’m a healer? If you never felt sadness, how would you know I’m a comforter? Child, if life is perfect, would you still know Me?

The devil is content to let us profess Christianity as long as we do not practice it.

Thank you for what we have. Keep us ever aware of those who have needs we can meet.

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us not because of the righteous things we have done, but because of his mercy. Titus 3 5

Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11 24

Give and it will be given to you. Lk 6 38

Healing of the mind happens by letting go of bad memories; healing of the heart through forgiveness; and healing of the soul through prayers.

The best helping hand is at the end of your own arm. When you feel you can’t handle things, just we can God will do what we cannot. Our task is to take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible.

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? Heb 3 5-6

Success in life can never be an accident. It is the result of hard work and faith in god. Champions are not the people who never fail, but the people who never quit.

I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. Phil 4:11

Ask God to keep you from worrying about what others think, and to be content with whatever he sends your way. All the tomorrows of our life have to pass Him before they get to us.

I am weak but my God is strong. I don’t have all but I have Him. Though I’m tired, I know he’ll never tire loving me. And that’s enough inspiration for me to face each day. Cause I’m just someone imperfect but loved by a perfect God.

Life is never measured by the years we live, but by the caring we do, the cheer and love we shared and the happy people whose hearts we’ve touched.

Contentment comes when God’s will is more important than our wants.

Hatred stirs up disputes, but love covers all offenses. Proverbs 10 12

Each morning we face the day without knowing what lies ahead. Nevertheless beyond this uncertainty stands the assurance that God cares for s so much more than we know.

Our sin is great. God’s grace is greater.

God can speak through our acts of kindness.

Whatever circumstances we are in let us not be discouraged. We are anchored to our father a great god. He is in control and will deliver us to great heights.

God never ever gives up on us.

Because god is faithful we need not be afraid.

Our lives are never more secure than when they are abandoned to God.

Thank you for being with us wherever we dwell. Hold close those who grieve and change their pain to joy.

Success often rises out of the ashes of failure.

Faith means taking our eyes off our troubles, our losses, our pain, our difficulties, and redirecting our concentration and focus toward the lord.

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.

We are to God the fragrance of Christ. 2 Cor 2 15

Two conflicting forces cannot exist in one human heart. When doubt reigns, faith cannot abide. When hatred rules, love is crowded out. Where selfishness rules, there love cannot dwell. When worry is present, trust cannot crowd its way in.

In life we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we made the right decisions. The truth is we can't search for what's not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile despite every painful cruash in our hearts. at the end of the day, the lessons we learned are the answers to our questions.

Only in quiet waters can things mirror themselves undistorted. Only with a quiet mind shall we be able to hear God's whisper in our hearts.

Never be afraid to entrust the unknown future to the all-knowing god.

Sunrise marks God's message of peace love and hope whle sunset stands for his grace. May you always have the best in between this two beautiful moments.

We are not supposed to always understand why certain things happen. We dont have to always know the reasons why God allow certain things to take place. all that is asked of us is to trust Him completely and let Him be in control. God will never fail us. not now not ever.

Isn't it strange that your P100 peso bill seem a large amount when you donate it to church but such a small amount when you go shopping? one hour seems so long in church; too short when having fun? everyone wants front-row tickets in concerts or shows but do whatever possible to sit at last row in church? We say God is our priority but do we prove it everyday?

Things in this world are temporary. If events are turning well, enjoy. If they go wrong, don't worry. It wont last long. Reasons: Larger faith means lesser fear. greater trust means smaller doubts. stronger beliefs, weaker worries.

Jesus is the one to run to when our lives bring grief and pain. he provides his strength and guidance with a peace we cant explain.

Though you cannot see the outcome, trust the lord. He knows what's best. Be assured he sees your trial, and he's with you in your test.

No one is rich enough to buy back the past. But if you have the courage to do better things today, you would be the richest one tomorrow. Is 41 10

Enough

God's strength is enough to fight and win our battles. God's riches are enough to supply all our needs. God's wisdom is enough to teach and direct us. God's love is more than enough for all of us.

God's purpose in allowing problems to come into our lives is far more importnat thanour personal convenience. He allows us to suffer through interpersonal conflicts for our own good. Conflicts keep us humble, build patience, and develop our spiritual character.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Confucius

The Lord never fails to give us new blessing every time we wake up. Waking up alive and well is already a miracle.

Better to be kind than be right; forgive, than have a bitter heart; talk less than make comments on every issue and err; hold your tongue than be angry and be disgraced; and hold on to God in His ways than trust in human wisdom.

Faith and prayer are impossible but they make impossible things possible. Its Gods part to do wonders; ours is the simple part, to trust and pray.

Strong people are given much trials and heartaches because it is believed that the can overcome such pain. that they are brave but sometimes we get so tired that we just want to scream and give up. when that certain time comes that you can no longer walk on your own, God helps you carry your pain. For as long as God is here, giving up is never a choice.

Age appears to be the best in some things. Old wood best to burn. Old authors best to read. Old wine best to drink. old friend best to keep.

A blind man had a board saying Help me I'm blind. Only a few gave. But there was this man that always helped. One day when that man passed he took the board and changed it. Now the blind man noticed a lot was giving so when that man passed the blind man asked Excuse me sir what did you put on my board? The man smiled and said It's a beautiful day. Too bad I can't see it. Sometimes we are too blind to see that we are blessed. We have countless tings to thank god for. Hope you see it today.

Help us in trust in you when pain overwhelms us. Teach us to console others in the ways you console us.

When Jesus started his public ministry, the very first thing he said was Repent. And the second was Follow me. We may be having the romantic notion of "finding my destiny" or "making my mark in the world" while "trusting in Jesus" to make my dreams come true and fix the problems of my plan. It's not at all what Jesus says. he says repent, to change. to transform my outlook from being master into follower, to think as he thinks, to act as he acts, to drop my human logic and adopt his divine wisdom. Giving up control is not easy and may take a lifetime to learn. But rest assured. our perfection our fulfilment and joy will be found in the measure that we follow jesus. let us pray for this grace today.

Once in a while good people need a reminder of how special and lovable they are.With this message, consider yourself reminded.

Turn from evil and do good that you may inhabit the land forever. Ps 37 27

Don't give up

2011-03-18T00:33:00.001-07:00

Forwarded email

---------------------------------
One day I decided to quit....
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. ..
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

'God', I asked, 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?'
His answer surprised me...
'Look around', He said. 'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?'
'Yes', I replied.
'When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo', He said.

'In year three, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.

In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
I would not quit.' He said.

'Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Comparedto the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. ..

But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
'I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.'

He asked me.
'Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots'.

'I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you.'
'Don't compare yourself to others.'

He said.
'The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful.'
'Your time will come',

God said to me.
'You will rise high'
'How high should I rise?' I asked.
'How high will the bamboo rise?' He asked in return.
'As high as it can?' I questioned.
'Yes.'
He said,
'Give me glory by rising as high as you can.'

I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

Never, Never, Never Give up.

nothing and everything

2011-02-13T02:39:00.000-08:00

when i have nothing but i have you, i have everything.
when i have everything yet i dont have you, everything means nothing.
i wish i have everything and still have you, but that would perhaps be redundant. everything else is a bonus when i already have you.

i think the more accurate statement is when i have nothing but i have you, i feel incomplete. i wish that, in having you, everything else follows. i hope that, in having everything, that doesn't mean i am taking you out of my life. can't i have the best of both worlds? is that possible at all?

i believe it is, because i don't believe that having everything is all. you know i wont be happy without you as top priority. you know i will always feel incomplete, not at rest unless i rest in you.

Retreat notes 2010

2011-01-15T17:37:00.000-08:00

Each one-liner (from the retreat given by Fr. Dave) is worth a separate retreat!

----------------------------
If you lose money, you lose nothing. If you lose your health, you lose something. If you lose your character, you lose everything.

In all our dreams, we must never forget what is essential and reconcilable.

1. Control your destiny or someone else will.

You can never become what your mind can't imagine.
You can't give birth to something your heart can't conceive.

2. Face reality as is now, not how you wish it.

If you keep doing what you have been doing, then you will be getting what you have been getting.

3. Take the lead and not simply manage.

Stay focused.
Know your priorities.
Live a balanced life. Ora et labora.
Do not avoid making painful decisions.

3c. Unsuccessful people think about survival. Average people think about management or maintenance. Successful people think about progress.

3b. With clear priorities, decisions are easy to make.

4. Do not settle for the average.

People do not pay for the average.

See book An Enemy Called Average

Pwede na yan. - Enemy of the present time

Success or achieving your dreams doesn't mean deciding on what is comfortable, popular, or beneficial.

Neither is God's will comfortable, popular, or beneficial.

Life is only 70. If you are healthy, you will reach 80. That means if you are 60, malapit ka na.

If you have a problem or concern, ask three important questions:
-Is there anything wrong in my life that needs to be corrected?
-If none, is there anything wrong in my life that God demands obedience?
-If none, is there anything that God wants me to learn?

Credibility is very hard to earn, and once it is lost, it is very hard to regain.

Credibility is standing like a rock.

Joys are the whispers of God. Pains are the shouts of God.

You don't solve poverty by killing the consumer. You provide food for them.

Freud: "Few are those who think. And for those who think, few think enough."
Somebody's response: "Baka kaya di ka napapagod kasi di ka nagiisip." Hahahaha.

Not all who go to Mass pray. Many are just fulfilling their obligation. It all boils down to attitude.

Guard your character, for it will control your destiny. - Bernard Shaw

St. Paul to Galileans: If you are a Jew and acts like a Gentile, do not expect the Gentiles to act like a Jew.

Learn to do things another way.

It's a way of seeing things. Ex. Have you heard of the tale of the two shoes salemen in Africa. Salesman A frowned: "No one is wearing shoes!" But salesman B got excited: "Great! No one is wearing shoes! I can teach them all to wear shoes."

I am strict because I am weak.

Sometimes we have to ask a different question.

You may be excellent in what you do, but is that God's will? Your excellence won't have credit because eternal life is a deliberate choice.

Do you believe that you are called to be here by God?

God acts in a way we don't understand.

Discernment happens between two rights or two goods. If it's a matter of right and wrong, no discernment is necessary.

Alin ba dito Panginoon?

"Make a choice and I will bless it. It is enough that you asked my will."

Do you have the heart for it?

Every blessing entails a burden.

When you pray you don't have to make that (?) commitment.

The sea separated when the Israelites stepped on the water. Because it demands an act of faith. (Sometimes faith means having the guts.)

God comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable.

In a dilemma between two rights, choose the more loving thing to do.

But remember, sometimes love is not sweet. It could be tough.

We are simply loved by God.

There are no mistakes in life, only lessons to learn.

The only way to succeed is to commit a mistake. The only way to fail a subject is to make the same mistake.

Three Important Questions

1. How faithfully have I lived my vocation?
2. How much love have I given?
3. How gracefully I let go of the thing that are not meant for me?

There are three ways to regenerate: bear a child, write a book, plant a tree.

Careers are measured in success. Vocations are measured in fidelity.

Not all who are faithful are lovers. Yung iba takot lang. Pero dun sa nagmahal, nagtiis. Dun sa nagmahal, nagsumikap maging tapat.

**

To be old is not a license to be cranky.

Laws of Lifetime Personal Growth

1. Always make your future bigger than your past.
2. Always make your contribution bigger than your reward.
3. Always make your performance greater than your applause.
4. Always make your gratitude greater than your success.

Each of the above is a choice.

Eternal life is a deliberate choice.

If your rewards are greater than your control, then don't expect eternity. You've already received your reward.

God is the true measure of joy.

You think you're doing God a favor? "You are not called because you have something to do for God. God has called you for your own good."

God will never shortchange you.

Quote: "It is not enough that we do the right thing. We must do the right thing for the right reason.

Are we just being safe?

If what you do won't bring us to heaven, drop it like a hot potato.

Di lahat ng nagkamali, nagkasala. Pero lahat ng nagkasala, nagkamali.

Quote on integrity: "Holiness is wholeness."

"My life is my message." - Gandhi, on integrity

Courage is doing the right thing even when it is hard.

To believe in something and not to live it is being dishonest. - Gandhi

"Do not expect applause for doing the right thing, but be grateful that you were able to do what's expected."

"You were called not because you have something to give, but because it is for your own good."

Txt msgs

2011-01-06T15:50:00.000-08:00

Every morning I spend 15 minutes filling my mind full of God; and so there's no room left for worry thoughts. - Howard Chandler Christy

The root of all difficulties is a lack of sense of the presence of God. - Emmett Fox

Jesus Christ is a God whom we approach without pride, and before whom we humble ourselves without despair. - Blaise Pascal

It is not hard for the Lord to turn night into day. He that sends the clouds can as easily clear the skies. Let us be of good cheer. - Charles Spurgeon

Lord I know not everything I wished and hoped for will come true. Please give me strength to let go and entrust everything to you. I understand you won't allow me to be in pain for the sake of hurting but for the sake of learning. You know me more than I know myself that even when I feel alone and unloved, there is still Someone who knows all my flaws yet loves me unconditionally like no human can.

God is so big that he can cover the whole world with his love, yet small enough to live within your heart. So rich that He can give you anything you desire, yet wise to grant you only what is best. So powerful that he can command the sun to stand still, yet gentle enough to weep with you in your pain.

8 secrets of success are found in a room: The roof said aim high. The fan said be cool. The clock said every minute is precious. The mirror said reflect before you act. The window said see the world. The calendar said be up to date. The door said push hard to achieve your goals. The floor said kneel down, pray and say I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

God makes three requests of His children: Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have, now. African-American proverb

Our Lord gives to souls of prayer a deep understanding of Himself. He never deceives them. St Peter Julian Eymard

To love God is something greater than to know Him. - St. Thomas Aquinas

Difficulties to a Christian are only miracles that have not yet happened.

God took the worst thing that man could do to his son, and transformed it into the best thing he could do for man.

God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them but to cleanse them. - John H. Aughey

Malouisms

2011-01-06T15:41:00.000-08:00

Because you are precious in my sight, and honored and I love you. Is. 43:1-5, Hos. 11:1-4, Ps. 121, Is. 45:9-12

Our mission in life is to light lamp posts along life's way. As we move on we leave behind us a trail of light to keep others on the right track. - ???

Everyone of you, no matter how insignificant we are judged to be by the values of society, have great and important things to do precisely because we bear within us the kingdom of God. - William Meninger, OCSO

God is the only source of true happiness. Everything else is a poor imitation. - ???

It is more difficult to be loved than to be a lover because in allowing ourselves to be loved, we must be what we are. - ???

Lord, if you insist, let me know You. - Pascal

Discernment is the link between prayer and action. - Fr. Thomas Green, SJ

True knoweldge of God goes hand in hand with a painful self-knowledge. That is why good souls who are making real progress often feel they are regressing and getting further from God. - Thomas Green, SJ

Wisdom in puns

2010-11-12T17:18:00.001-08:00

Give God what's right, not what's left.

Man's way lead to hopeless end. God's way leads to an endless hope.

A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.

Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.

Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.

When praying, don't give God instructions. Just report for duty.

Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.

We don't change God's message. His message changes us.

The church is prayer-conditioned.

When God ordains, he sustains.

Warning: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

Exercise daily. Walk with the Lord.

Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.

Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

He who angers you controls you.

Worry is a darkroom in which negatives can develop.

Give Satan an inch and he'll be a ruler.

Be ye fishers of men. You catch them and He'll clean them.

God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called.

If you had...

2010-11-10T22:17:00.001-08:00

If you never felt pain, then how would you know that I am a Healer?

If you never had to pray, how would you know that I am a Deliverer?

If you never had a trial, how could you call yourself an overcomer?

If you never felt sadness, how would you know that I am a Comforter?

If you never made a mistake, how would you know that I am a forgiver?

If you knew all, how would you know that I will answer your questions?

If you never were in trouble, how would you know that I will come to your rescue

If you never were broken, then how would you know that I can make you whole?

If you never had a problem, how would you know that I can solve them?

If you never had any suffering, then how would you know what I went through?

If you never went through the fire, then how would you become pure?

If I gave you all things, how would you appreciate them?

If I never corrected you, how would you know that I love you?

If you had all power, then how would you learn to depend on me?

If your life was perfect, then what would you need me for?

Love,
Jesus

God talks to Satan

2010-09-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

In the book of Job, God appears to have a conversation with Satan. In other words, the lines of communication between them is open. They talk! Communication appears to always have been open and remains open up to this point -- running thousands of years. If they are always talking, could it be possible that Satan could still change his mind? Alas, that conversation is too tragic for Job as it has been for the rest of us. That converstion involves us! Their conversation runs the gamut from the most harmless of temptations to the most malicious of taunts. And sometimes, to prove a point to Satan, God may even entertain Satan's request! Could it be that our present suffering is a result of similar taunts and permission to tempt? If so, good thing we always have a choice in the running conversation of God versus Satan. We can always choose God's side. That means we can always trust that, no matter what the exchange, God will always be on our side defending us from Satan's taunts and temptations. This is not an easy thing, I know. But that's how it is with faith and, by extension, hope. These two involves hard decision-making.

"Nudge the balance"

2010-08-21T23:39:00.000-07:00

NUDGE THE BALANCE
Author Unknown

A 91-year-old woman died after living a very long dignified life. When she
met God, she asked Him something that had really bothered her for a very
long time. "If humans were created in God's image, and if all were created
equal, why do people treat each other so badly?"

God replied that each person who enters our life has a unique lesson to
teach us. It is only through these lessons that we learn about life, people
and our relationships with God. This confused the woman, so God began to
explain:

"When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always what
they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks
people wear if you want to know what is in their hearts. Remove your own
masks to let people know who you really are.

When someone steals from you it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always
appreciate what you have. You never know when you might lose it. Never take
your friends or family for granted, because today and sometimes only this
very moment is the only guarantee you may have.

When someone inflicts injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state
is a very fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best as you
can, it's the one thing that you are sure to have forever.

When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When
you encounter people who are different from you, do not judge them by how
they look or act, instead base it on the contents of what is in their
hearts.

When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving someone does not
always mean that the person will love you back. But don't turn your back on
love, because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings
you will make up for all of your past hurts. Times a thousand fold.

When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes
mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is
forgive the offender without pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is
often the most difficult and painful of life's experiences, but it is also
the most courageous thing a person can do.

When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting
temptation is everyone's greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance
against all temptations. By doing so, you will be rewarded with an enduring
sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you
were tempted.

When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil.
Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do
not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with
achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.

When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept
people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject
someone for imperfections over which they have no control."

Upon hearing the Lord's wisdom, the old woman became concerned that there
are no lessons to be learned from man's good deeds. God replied that Man's
capacity to love is the greatest gift He has. At the root of kindness and
love, and each act of love also teaches us a lesson. The woman's curiosity
deepened. God, once again began to explain:

"When someone loves us, it teaches us love, kindness, charity, honesty,
humility, forgiveness, acceptance, and all of these can counteract all the
evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one evil deed. Man alone
has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the
lessons of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.

When you enter someone's life, whether by plan, chance or coincidence,
consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of
reality? When you die, will your life have resulted in more loving or more
hurting? More comfort or more pain? More joy or more sadness? Each one of us
has the power over the balance of the love in the world. Use it wisely!"

Don't miss an opportunity to nudge the world's scale in the right direction!

Life philosophy

2010-08-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

We never get what we want,
We never want what we get,
We never have what we like,
We never like what we have.
And still we live & love.
That's life...

The best kind of friends,
Is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with,
Never say a word,

And then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know

What we've got until it's gone,

But it's also true that we don't know
What we've been missing until it arrives..

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back!
Don't expect love in return;
Just wait for it to grow in their heart,
But if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,

An hour to like someone,

And a day to love someone,

But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
Because it takes only a smile to

Make a dark day seems bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile!

May you have
Enough happiness to make you sweet,
Enough trials to make you strong,
Enough sorrow to keep you human,
And enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes.
If you feel that it hurts you,
It probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people
Don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for

Those who cry,
Those who hurt,

Those who have searched,
And those who have tried,
For only they can appreciate the importance of people
Who have touched their lives.

When you were born, you were crying
And everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die,
You're the one who is smiling

And everyone around you is crying.

Please send this message
To those people who mean something to you,
To those who have touched your life in one way or another,
To those who make you smile when you really need it,
To those that make you see the brighter side of things When you are really down,
To those who you want to know
That you appreciate their friendship.

And if you don't, don't worry,
Nothing bad will happen to you,
You will just miss out on the opportunity
to brighten someone's life with this message...

If you have missed the beauty of flowers that adorn the paths of our lives, scroll back...

Freedom, flight, struggle

2010-08-09T03:11:00.000-07:00

Forwarded email

GOD'S PLAN
A man found a cocoon of an emperor moth. He took it home so that he could watch the moth come out of the cocoon.

On the day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the moth for several hours as the moth struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. It just seemed to be stuck. Then the man, in his kindness, decided to help the moth, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.

The moth then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the moth because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the little moth spent the rest of its life crawling, with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the moth to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the moth into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Freedom and flight would only come after the struggle. By depriving the moth of a struggle, he deprived the moth of health.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, He would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. How true this is! How many times have we wanted to take the quick way out of struggles and difficulties, to take those scissors and snip off the remaining bits in an attempt to be free. We need to remember that our loving Father will never give us more than we can bear and through our trials and struggles we are strengthened as gold is refined in the fire.

"May we never let the things we can't have, or don't have, or shouldn't have, spoil our enjoyment of the things we do have and can have".

From Nouwen's Clowning in Rome

2010-07-24T18:00:00.000-07:00

p. 70

The movement fro thinking random thoughts to living in communion with Love is a radical conversion of our mental processes. Gradually we move away from ourselves -- our worries, preoccupations, and self-gratifications -- and we direct all that we recognize as ours to the One who loves us, trustig that through love all well be made new.

Unepxected idolatries

But this conversion from unceasing thought to unceasing prayer is very slow and far from easy. There is a deep resistance to allowing ourselves to become so vulenrable, so naked, and so totally unprotected. There is no question about our desire to love God. We want to be men and women who love and worship God, but we also want to protect a little corner of our inner lives for ourselves. We cling to a protected space where we might sometimes hide out with our own secret thoughts, our dreams and fantasies, and our play with our own mental fabrications. When we begin to think about livng and thinking always in God's loving presence we experience the immediate temptation to select carefully the thoughts that we bring into our conversations with God and the ones we reserve for our own private time.

p. 47

The celibate life is like a clown in the circus who, between the scary acts of the trapeze artists and lion tamers, fumbles and falls, reminding us that no human activity is ultimately as importat as the virtuosi make us believe. Celibates live out a holy emptiness by not marrying, by not trying to build for themselves a house or a fortune, by not trying to wield as much influence as possible, and by not filling their lives with events, people, or creations for which they will be remembered. The hope is that by their "empty" lives, God will be more readily recognized as the source of all human life and activity. Especially by not marrying and by abstaining from the most intimate expression of human love, the celibate becomes a living sign of the limits of interpersonal relationships and of the centrality of the inner sanctum that no human being may violate.

To whom, then, is the celibate's witness directed? I dare to say that celibacy is, first of all, a witness to men and women who are married.

Never heard it put quite like this before

2010-07-16T05:31:00.001-07:00

(Forwarded email)

RECALL NOTICE:

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality, " or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!

- GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!

Because He Lives!

To the fatherless

2010-06-19T23:43:00.001-07:00

(Forwarded email)

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad.

Almighty God

Thomas Merton's Prayer

2010-06-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

Thomas Merton's Prayer

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"