PARADOXICAL

 Mr. Multiple

In a given department/unit/section/division of a local government, there are so many tasks that are hidden, that is to say, unknown to most people, particularly the public at large. 

Because of regular directives, orders, advisories, circulars, and communication letters of that sort from the President through the Department of the Interior and Local Government or some other agency that acts as an overseer, every office is required, from time to time, to implement certain things at the workplace. That's how powerful a sitting president is.

To name just a few of these 'orders'... There is a "no breaktime" policy (i.e., employees can't deny service to a client during lunch time and snack breaks -- someone else needs to be available in case an employee is on official break. Every government employee is required to wear a visible ID. Every employee must attend the flag ceremony every Monday, and in the case of the current dispensation, wear Filipiniana or ASEAN clothes as part of the dress code. All employees with a plantilla position ('permanent employee') must submit a SALN (Statement of Assets, Liabilities, and Net Worth) annually and an IPCR (Individual Performance Review) quarterly or so. I am just getting started.

I don't know with other LGUs and government agencies, but I have found local government work to be almost like missionary work. There is an element of sacrifice, rules to be followed emanating from a hierarchy of officers, a sense of order and discipline, evangelistic zeal, pursuit of ideals (albeit in the name of material and socioeconomic progress), and the like. 

The policies I have observed to have been added lately for each department are the following: requirements to have a GAD (gender and development) focal person, a mini-budget officer, a mini-planning officer, a point person who needs to complete an ICS (Incident Command System) course, a safety officer, an energy savings focal person, a procurement officer, and in the case of our LGU, a Data Management System (DMS) personnel, an ISO focal person, someone who answers Facebook Messenger and comments on a given time frame, a newsletter circulation manager, and a website administrator.

Any head of a department or section would have hypertension just imagining oneself doing everything by one's lonesome. I haven't even mentioned the meetings an LGU head needs to attend as member of a committee, task force, council, or special body each day or per week. Clearly, one needs a lot of helping hands. To prevent the potential of karoshi (go look up what it means) and save on overhead, it would be best to hire someone who is multitalented and if possible has the superhuman capacity to multitask -- preferably at minimum expense.

When Don approached me one day to ask if he could possibly transfer to my section, he was downcast for a certain reason. While listening to his story, I was also bargaining with him as to whether he was willing to perform this and that task that no one else was willing to take on at the time due to lack of skills or being assigned an already optimum workload. He said yes to all the tasks mentioned. 

Soon, he was taking care of the procurement process. Then he was given the access to DMS messages. Then he took over the website updating and administration. One day, he became a safety officer. And what impressed me was when he was assigned to take up the difficult Incident Command System (ICS) course, and finished all four levels! 

What's more, he was even willing to substitute for someone or be an emergency back-up guy if I lacked a photographer, reporter, and layout artist at a given time, or a proxy for an important meeting or seminar. 

For proving to be such a versatile worker, we his officemates have taken to calling him Mr. Multiple (for multiple intelligence), especially since, on top of everything, he sings well too, and he's into various sports, particularly basketball, judo, and lately, arm wrestling.

He's not perfect -- he has Achilles' heels, of course, but who is perfect?

With his transfer to DepEd, I have lost a key workforce member. But I try to be happy for him. After all, everyone needs to look for greener pastures as one does not get any younger with the marching of the years. 

One thing I am pretty sure, though, is that he's learned a whole lot from his time with us in the LGU because he bravely took on everything put on his shoulder. I just hope he'll be able to put them into good use.

Now I wonder where I would find the most fitting person -- or multitude of personnel -- for the various tasks he just left behind. I figure it would be like looking for that Hindu god with multiple arms. 

posted by Resty Odon  # 1:50 AM 0 Comments

Misadventures of a Hesitant Contest Judge

(My funny and exasperating adventure as a judge of assorted contests)

For a few number of times, I ran into the 'misfortune' of being asked to judge in a contest. I have been a judge of a poster-making tilt, cutest baby, tourism brochure-making match, poetry contest, songwriting competition, and even cook-off (note the effort I made in looking for synonyms). The organizers could not have chosen a worse person for these tasks.

First of all, even though I love words and I am a writer by profession, I don't have the luxury of time to do poems and much less read through them in rapid succession. Although I can appreciate a poem and I have had sophomoric attempts at writing poems, poetry for me is something best made and appreciated in the quietude of isolation and retreat, much like meditating on the day's gospel readings. I would much prefer to read and write essays--and save for moments of mental block, I can do so at the drop of a hat, so I guess I wasn't cut out to be a poet.

And while I love music of all kinds, I have never attempted to create music of my own. I have no experience waking up from a dream hearing beautiful melodies or writing a song or composing a tune.

I am also into art and art appreciation, but I cringe at the idea of calling myself an artist, knowing there are so many out there who actually live and breathe art, whose bread and butter is art.

As for cooking, I am oftentimes a disaster in the kitchen, but I do appreciate the finer things in life like a perfectly cooked dish, be it in private kitchens or in restaurants.

So to judge these things I am not even good at, or I am not the proper authority in, is a laughable idea to me. Writers, for one, are like doctors -- they too have specializations.

Secondly, while I love reading top 10 lists of anything, I am someone who hates the mere idea of ranking artworks of any kind. I understand that the whole point of judging is to uphold certain standards -- in fact, the highest standards. But in cases where the parameters or set of criteria are too general for comfort, like the most popular ones on TV ("Britain's Got Talent," "American Idol," etc.)? Sorry, but no go.

...For how can anyone choose between apples and oranges? In the case of competitions involving poems and songs of all sorts, I feel so uncomfortable with the very idea of pitting, say, a haiku against a full-blown epic poem, or preferring a rap music composition to a mere jingle, say, or a ballad. The whole idea is crazy to me! Judging in this context will twist me mentally, philosophically into a pretzel.

But even with much sulking, I did judge the poems and songs anyway, and for this task to work, I forced myself to relish each piece, be it a poem or a song, so that I could find each of their merits, wherever those may be hiding.

True enough, in case of the poem entries, while being extremely pressed for time, I had to read -- carefully -- through not 10, not 20, and not even 30, but a grand total of 95 poems! It was a crazy time managing my emotions while calm-and-collectedly appreciating each work.

There were very short poems, there were longish poems, there were indeed haikus, a couple of sonnets, and what have you's. There were poems I understood easily and there were poems that I had to read repeatedly to make sense of them until I went crazy. There were works that emerged to catch my attention, works that made me shed a tear or two, and works that offended me in many ways: due to pointlessness, incoherence, inaccuracy, ungrammaticality, faulty word choice, faulty punctuation marks, etc. Many entries are quite prosaic, too direct, too literal -- all anathema to art and literature and most especially to poetry. One verged laughably on being an essay masquerading as a poem because of the arrangement of text.

Most works are predictably a paean or "praise release" for our town in general and for the current dispensation -- which is well-deserved, just to be clear. So the entries that caught my attention the most are those that that did it nicely anyway and those that went to another direction by taking up other less expected subjects and themes or those that went for other surprising angles while dealing with the same pedestrian theme.

Among those that are different, at least one poem focused solely on native delicacies, another chose to highlight a local school, another one dwelt on a recent viral controversy, and another turned the spotlight on a giant statue. A favorite is a poem giving a rundown of the town's barangays -- who could have thought? Too bad it didn't deliver as a whole.

Aside from paeans, there was a pledge, there's the usual acrostic type, which is, to be frank, corny, and there was a billet doux (love letter).

Never have I once imagined that these unnoticed everyday subjects would be the focus of poems in this town someday. Apart from the town of Bayambang per se, there are pieces that include an historical sweep, a focus on a significant episode now called SingKapital, the town's lady mayor, the Christmas display called Paskuhan sa Bayambang, the much-overlooked Agno River, and even the LGU's development projects -- who would have thought?

These works are thus unprecedented in that they are the very first ones, to my knowledge, to honor and memorialize in verse the town in this manner when having a dismissive 'small-town' attitude toward it is a lot easier and in fact has been normalized since its founding.

Collected together, these poems are unanimous in their praise of the speedy changes that the town has been going through, matching the unprecedented development of the town since 1614.

"As Bayambang Breathes" captured my attention the most because it trains the spotlight on the typical day in the life of the town in such a skillful way, a unique strategy among the submissions.

As for the song entries, it's the same dilemma all over again. I had to contend with comparing advertisement jingles with ballads, anthems with folk music, and so on.

The cutest baby contest is, as you can imagine, the most challenging to be in, because all babies are, of course, inherently cute.

(N.B.: Don't get me wrong. I fully support these competitions that promote artists and creators of all kinds. And I must credit the creative dynamo behind these endeavors who has been relentless in pushing for this kind of competitions as part of the annual Tourism Week/Month celebrations. Were it not for his conduct of the three Anlong poetry competitions under his wing, the hidden talents that exist right under our noses would have remained hidden forever. I likewise thank our leader-benefactors for giving the greenlight and approving the funding to worthy endeavors such as this. Furthermore, judging is not a walk in the park, so I am thankful for anyone willing to say yes to invites. And being invited is indirectly an irresistible honor -- who doesn't want it?)

But having said all these, please don't repeat the same mistake of asking me to judge anything with such a broad scope -- and in rush mode too. Understand that it is pure torture to me. I don't know how esteemed judges survive the ordeal, but I am especially distressed whenever I find a piece of work to be singularly worthy of acclamation only to see it lose because I don't share the aesthetic philosophy or professional views of fellow judges, or that the work belongs to another realm of interpretation or mode of appreciation. I have a soft spot for 'losers', especially for uniquely but unconventionally talented underdogs losing out to pros like what I have repeatedly witnessed in "American Idol," "Tawag ng Tanghalan," and other singing competitions. (I don't know why I still watch these shows whenever I can despite the sure heartbreak they'd bring of watching wonderful talents feeling like they were also-rans just because they didn't win the first prize.)

Another thing is that all art is subjective, so I fully expect other judges to have judgments entirely different from the ones I hold. Which was exactly what happened in some contests in which I was a judge: the impasse created by different judges choosing surprisingly different set of winners had to be resolved on the spot in creative ways, or else the contest would be one big fail. And if I have learned anything from the history of art... art is like fashion. To potentially misquote Oscar Wilde, "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." In other words, man's definition of art, poetry, literature, beauty is simply unreliable, even whimsical, so who am I judge? Get someone like Simon Cowell instead, please.

Suddenly, Korean or Shine Muscat grapes -- green, large, shiny, sweet, and looking like either a gemstone or a plastic toy grape -- suddenly flooded the market. But I prefer Moon Drop grapes or Sweet Sapphire grapes, which is equally pricey.

posted by Resty Odon  # 6:53 PM 0 Comments

Yet Another Month-Ender (Notes to Self for August 2025)

Crime Scene: Wishing Everything Was a Hoax Instead

In August, there were too many viral things going on at a fast clip that I couldn't keep up. What I managed to catch were of paltry amount, but they caught my attention because they were the most unusual.

First off, August appeared to be a month infested with unusual crime incidents.

- My townmates were totally in sleuthing Marites mode when we heard this: A very much married policeman residing in San Carlos City, Pangasinan, shot dead a woman who was from Mindanao but a rad tech in Taguig, and dumped her body along the road in Sitio Pocdol, Brgy. Bani, our town. Police investigation revealed that the two had a romantic relationship (even though the latter had a boyfriend, a seaman) and the man owed the woman money and had a spat while traveling from Manila to the north. It's a strange case, needless to say, for why would a law enforcer in an illicit amorous relationship with a woman he owed money to (who was also in a relationship) be driven to such a heinous act, while leaving enough evidence. Anyway, we congratulated the local police for solving the crime at all, and with such swiftness too.

- At least three incidents involved a murder in DepEd premises. (1). An 18-year-old boy shot a 15-year-old high school girl in Nueva Ecija right inside her classroom and shot himself as well. The girl was reportedly his ex. (2). Then in Lanao del Sur, a student killed his teacher over a failing grade. Imagine that. All of us must have had an experience of teachers giving us a grade we didn't expect, but killing the teacher? This is obviously an historic first. (3). Got tired of unusual crime at this point, so I am quoting a Philstar account verbatim: "Gunmen killed an Islamic school teacher in an ambush in Barangay Inug-ug in Pikit, Cotabato on Wednesday afternoon – exactly two weeks after two of his students were killed in a similar attack in the same area."

- Ibajay, Aklan vice-mayor was shot dead by a councilor right inside the Sangguniang Bayan Hall. This is the second time this month, I think, that a local official would be murdered at gunpoint. (I failed to take note of an earlier incident.)

- A 7-year-old girl from Asingan, Pangasinan who had been missing for days was found lifeless on a Dagupan City beach, and whatever the reason was, it's totally beyond words that there are deranged adults who are capable of murdering an innocent child with so much ahead of her.

- San Simon, Pampanga's mayor was reportedly caught red-handed accepting a bribe of P80 million.

- A DPWH engineer was arrested after he was caught bribing Batangas Congressman Leandro Leviste with P3-million in cash.

- There were reports of mass shootings again in the US of A, with at least two pupils shot dead. The saddest part is that the tragic thing happened in a Catholic school in Minneapolis while the kids were prayerfully participating in the middle of the mass held as school opener. You'd think this only happens in places where Islamic fundamentalist hold sway like Afghanistan or Nigeria, but no.

***

Other Viral News

- Gruesome viral hoax: A post about an orca (killer whale) scarfing down its female trainer alive because she had menstruation went viral, but it thankfully turned out to be a hoax.

- In another viral heartbreaking news: An OFW died in a bus of a heart attack on her way home after many years. This is an incident rich in novel-strength back story and epilogues.

- A church in Jimenez, Misamis Occidental was closed after it was allegedly desecrated by a vlogger who reportedly spat into a water font, though the vlogger publicly denied it.

Disasters (Both Man-Made and Natural)

- Two girls died in a motorcycle accident, and their male driver killed himself after being blamed for it.

- Wildfires ate up villages in Portugal as well, and near Los Angeles City once again, while flooding of the terrible kind killed hundreds in Pakistan and wiped out swaths of scenic rural villages in China.

- My worst fear while walking alongside Makati's high-rises because it happened to other unfortunate pedestrians before: Falling concrete debris from a condo in Tomas Morato, QC, left two young students critically injured. A boy died later.

- A bridge under construction over the Yellow River in China collapsed, killing at least a dozen construction workers.

- An apocalyptic dust storm wreaked havoc in Nevada, USA, a desert region where Las Vegas City is found. Among the things it destroyed is the so-called "Orgy Dome" in the Burning Man attraction at Block Rock City, Nevada.

- The month closed with unprecedented flash floods across Quezon City. Mahar Mangahas said the unusually high volume of the rainfall was the cause, and it was a lot higher than Ondoy.

- Around 40 students practicing for a dance when a stage canopy suddenly collapsed at Peñaranda Park in Legazpi City, Albay, injuring at least six of the students.

***

Funny/Laughable/Ridiculous

- Funny: A residential CCTV footage showed the top part of a wooden double decker bed collapsing on top of the lower deck, bringing two men crashing on top of another man. The two crashing men turned out to be brothers, quashing wide suspicion that they were having you-know-what while another guy was right under them.

- Senator Erwin Tulfo was loudly berated by Greenhills, San Juan matrons after he allegedly made false claims about the encroachment of a nearby development, a high-rise. One irate lady uttered cusswords (muted in the video), and another woman, a barangay kagawad (council member) even mentioned suing him for libel. The scene smacked of schadenfreude on our part, and I thought I was the only one ending up thinking, "Erwin Tulfo lives in (super-exclusive) Wack-Wack?!?" But apparently not!

Word Watch: Two colloquial words seem to have become common lately -- daks and juts -- apparently from the Visayan words dako for big and dyutay for small, and often used in a vulgar manner to refer to the size of a man's phallus. So, of all the Visayan words that would diffuse naturally into the Tagalog language, it would have to be these two.

- I know that goto, kikiam, and miswa are words that have Chinese origin -- no surprise there. In fact, it's obvious. But hikaw, bilao, susi, hukbo, and ginto? Was I surprised! I was like, "So which Tagalog/Filipino words are not Chinese?" Ha-ha.

- What the heck: Adult pacifiers in China became a thing. But why???

- 'Mt. Kamuning' on EDSA was reportedly scheduled for demolition. Finally, that monument to folly and ugliness and failure in urban planning is going, going, gone. I remember navigating one or two similar footbridges in the past in that area and finding myself struggling between anger and laughter, totally incredulous that such a thing was even possible. The Kamuning footbridge's rival is another hateful overpass in the middle of Cubao where, at one point you have to stoop so low just to make it to the other side of the world.

- Digong Duterte supporters led by Harry Roque in The Hague suddenly had a verbal tussle over, of all things, a humba dish they just shared for lunch. It's perversely fun to watch, especially with that one curly-haired lady (who was wearing lipstick) who chewed on and on (supposedly the delicious dish of contention, with relish) in front of the camera while the heated exchange was going on. Apparently, Roque turned out to be the subject of someone's negative feedback on social media about his partaking of the dish without pitching in (?), which irked Roque, who then demanded to know how much was the darned humba for he'd pay for it, all of it.

Mystery

- A giant crucifix in a Texas church suddenly blazed for no reason.

***

Politics (or is this under Governance, Media, or Showbiz?)

- Pasig City Mayor Vico Sotto criticized broadcasters Korina Sanchez-Roxas and Julius Babao for featuring (at all) the fabulously wealthy Discaya couple, who would later be tagged in alleged ghost flood control projects, ostensibly for their rags-to-riches story -- allegedly for a princely sum -- that is, running in the multi-million levels, triggering a fierce debate on social media regarding the lines between journalism and PR.

I can't help but remember poring through a Catholic ecclesiastical instruction that has long tackled this question: "Communio et Progressio": there are lines that are clear and should not be crossed.

This controversy came after the brouhaha and hullabaloo over failed flood control projects that allegedly turned out to be tainted by corruption.

Not long after, the Filipino public, at least on social media, erupted in anger over the perceived wide corruption in the implementation of government infrastructure projects. Which reminds me of a thought I have developed but have been keeping to myself: Hindi nakakaproud maging mahirap, pero hindi lahat ng yaman kahanga-hanga o nakakainggit (dahil mayroon diyan mga galing sa nakaw at pandaraya).

The DPWH Secretary resigned and was replaced by DOTr Secretary Vince Dizon. Earlier, PNP Chief Nicholas Torre III was replaced too, for some mysterious reason.

Something equally ominous was brewing in Indonesia, involving protests over corruption in high places of government and a lowly citizen being unwittingly killed by government forces. The situation by month's end was tense.

***

Pop Culture

- In a concert, Vice Ganda poked fun at ex-President Duterte and at Sen. Marcoleta's smirking mug. Duterte's supporters cried foul, and the latter was seriously offended and he said so.

- Furthermore, in local showbiz, Vice Ganda had been having a word war with Cristy Fermin for quite some time now.

- And even if I wasn't keeping track of, er, these developments in the gossip department, my feeds kept on showing posts about the supposed spat between Vice Ganda and fellow comic-sidekicks MC and Lassy, and the supposed feud between top international model Heart Evangelista and Miss Universe Pia Wurtzbach. Couldn't care less, so why did I even bother to notice and type these?

- There was a sustained buzz or media hype about the upcoming historical biopic "Quezon" starring Jericho Rosales. It's interesting to see whether Quezon would be demonized and vilified like Aguinaldo or sanitized like Bonifacio and Del Pilar.

- Actress Liza Soberano went on a tell-all about his childhood traumas, but I had to skip it, feeling not ready to consume such content.

- Former sexy star Vivian Velez "threw shade" at Vice Ganda's vulgar and insult style comedy, so netizens enjoyed munching on their digital popcorn while watching how the latest tiff would unfold. (Someone wrote something about it in a style that I would have loved to use.) As for Vice Ganda's comedy, I am personally torn: it is truly hilarious and a refreshing foil to the onion-skinned nature of most Filipinos, but... I am not very comfortable sometimes (because it revels on people's weaknesses), yet I am willing to give this type of comedy leeway in the name of art and freedom of expression.

- Special Coverage: Applause for Mike de Leon!

Legendary filmmaker Mike de Leon passed away, aged 78.

I've been a Mike de Leon fan ever since I watched "Itim" as a retrospective show on TV. It is a dark gothic story starring a young Charo Santos, and I am not even a fan of horror movies. Since then, I had to go out of my way to watch his other obras. I'm not an age-ist person like most young people I encounter, so I didn't care much which year they were made. If a lot of the top film critics raved about it, it's a must-watch. So that's how I was able to watch "Kisapmata," "Kung Mangarap Ka't Magising," "Kakabakaba Ka Ba?", "Batch '81," "Sister Stella L.," "Hindi Nahahati ang Langit," "Aliwan Paradise," and "Bayaning 3rd World." I loved every single one of them. Maybe it's not just because each film is well-made, but also because each story is different and most importantly, elicits strong thoughts and emotions worth mulling over and discussing with friends and fellow cinephiles.

Looking up the wiki page about him, I learned that he made two other films that I have yet to see: "Bilanggo sa Dilim" and "Citizen Jake." Must find these two ASAP.

- Food: A new type of grape suddenly flooded the market. It is called Korean grape but technically called Shine Muscat. Like a gigantic lato (ar-arusip) or grape seaweed, a gemstone, and a plastic toy grape, it is large, green, and shiny-skinned, with a sweet and sourish taste and a firm texture. A rarity before, there was also a significant presence of Moon Drop or Sweet Sapphire grapes in the market, which are equally interesting.

- Dance: I saw a lot of people dancing the Palarong Pambansa dance. I find the steps... Never mind.

***

Science

It's already 2025 and yet two new species of large mammals have been newly discovered or at least reported for the first time this year: a new monkey species (Mittermeier’s Tapajós saki monkey in the Brazilian Amazon) and a new marsupial (unnamed in the report)! This is incredible discovery amidst reports of the sad and tragic extirpation of other species.

***

Sad

Meanwhile, soc-med is no longer fun with all these AI contents ('deepfakes' and fake disaster videos, ChatGPT copy-pasted content). AI might even kill the platform, with the deep distrust that comes with the indiscriminate usage.

posted by Resty Odon  # 2:38 PM 0 Comments