There's this Biblical passage where Jesus, exhausted and aggrieved by the recent death of his cousin John the Baptist, repairs to a place far from the crowd, perhaps to ponder privately on what has transpired. What do you know, when the local villagers hear that He has come to their town, they rush to Him, anticipating miracles - and lo! - in His exhaustion, Jesus is overcome by pity for the sick and needy. The next scene is what is now known as the miracle of the multiplication of bread.
This is not far from the parable of the widow’s mite - giving out of her own need. The Lord is asking me here and now to continue serving him in whatever apostolate He’s given me - in spite of the fact that I am doubting, in spite of the fact that I myself need some help. I myself am struggling, in fact, to the point of despondency, to the point of frustration and defeat and desperation.
The priest at the Mass then related the story about how Mother Theresa helped a family of Hindus who were in extreme state of hunger. Mother Theresa reportedly gave the family a plate of rice, and she was all the more surprised to find what the wife did: give one half of the rice to their neighbor, a Moslem family!
I was preparing one day for the Bigkis Youth Festival to be held at the Folk Arts Theater when, out of the blue, my officemate asked me, “Do you really like what you’re doing?” I said, “Not really,” thinking about the books I had to read and the foreign art films I need to watch, “I’m doing this out of obedience.” Then she retorted, “Blind obedience?”
“No, it’s not.” I shot back. How do I explain something like this convincingly to an audience as incredulous as she?
I will continue to give, Lord. I will continue to give alms to the poor, to the church, and to my family, even if I am neck-deep in debt myself. I will continue to serve God’s people in whatever way I can, even if the service is not of my own choosing, for God has taught me so - to give for the sake of giving, in spite of my own needs.
For it is the nature of God to be selfless.
8.5.2002
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