PARADOXICAL

The faith chronicles

Friday, July 17, 2026

 

ChatGPT's answer to dilemma on potential assisted death

 Resty, first, I'm sorry you and your siblings had to go through this. Reading your account, what stands out is not indifference or convenience, but a family that loved its mother, prayed for her, sought medical advice, struggled with uncertainty, and tried to do what was right under enormous emotional pressure.

From the perspective of official Catholic teaching, I do not think your family did something immoral by consenting to withdraw the ventilator provided that your mother was truly dying and the ventilator had become an extraordinary means that no longer offered a reasonable hope of recovery. Based on what you've described, that appears to have been the case.

Here's why.

The key distinction in Catholic teaching

The Catholic Church makes a very important distinction between:

The Catechism states:

"Discontinuing medical procedures that are burdensome, dangerous, extraordinary, or disproportionate to the expected outcome can be legitimate. It is the refusal of 'over-zealous' treatment. Here one does not will to cause death; one's inability to impede it is merely accepted." (CCC 2278)

That paragraph is directly relevant to the situation you described.

Intubation is not always morally required

The Church has never taught that every possible life-sustaining treatment must always be used.

A ventilator is considered a medical treatment, not ordinary care like food, water, warmth, or human companionship.

Whether it is morally obligatory depends on whether it is proportionate.

If doctors honestly judge that:

then continuing the ventilator may become extraordinary (disproportionate) means, which Catholics are not morally obliged to continue.

What if she was "brain dead"?

One detail in your story deserves clarification.

You wrote that one doctor said she was "practically brain dead," while another said the brainstem was damaged with a 5–8% chance of survival.

Those are not necessarily the same thing.

In medicine:

From your account, I'm not certain your mother had a formal determination of brain death. It sounds more like she had catastrophic neurological damage with an extremely poor prognosis.

Interestingly, Catholic moral theology reaches essentially the same conclusion either way: if treatment has become futile, it may be withdrawn.

Did removing the ventilator kill her?

This is probably the hardest question.

Catholic teaching would answer:

No—not if the ventilator was removed because it no longer provided reasonable hope of recovery and only prolonged the dying process.

The disease—the stroke and irreversible brain injury—caused her death.

The ventilator was postponing that death.

There is an important moral difference.

Imagine someone whose kidneys have completely failed.

Stopping dialysis may be morally permissible if it has become futile.

The kidney disease causes death—not the family's decision.

The same principle applies here.

Your intentions matter morally

Another thing I noticed is your intentions throughout those days.

You:

Those are not the actions of people trying to end someone's life.

Your intention was never:

"Let's make her die."

Your intention was:

"We don't know what the right thing is. Please, God, help us."

Catholic moral theology pays great attention to intention.

Would I have made the same decision?

If I were advising a Catholic family in the situation you described, I would likely have recommended something like this:

That is consistent with Catholic teaching.

One thing I would encourage

Many Catholics continue to carry guilt because they think:

"We removed the machine, therefore we killed our mother."

That is not how the Church understands these situations.

If your family's intention was to avoid futile treatment—not to cause death—you should not equate what happened with euthanasia.

My overall reading

Based only on the facts you've shared, I do not think your family acted contrary to Catholic teaching.

In fact, what I see is:

That is profoundly different from intentionally causing death.

One last thought struck me as I read your account. You wrote that on Day 2 your mother sang One Moment in Time. Later, when the doctors said she could probably still hear you, you and your family gathered around her. In Catholic belief, those final moments of love, prayer, presence, and entrusting her to God are not insignificant. They are among the last acts of filial charity you could offer her.

If this question still troubles your conscience months later, I would encourage you to bring it to a priest—especially one experienced in hospital ministry or moral theology. Not because I think you need to confess an act of euthanasia, but because sometimes what remains after such an experience is not moral guilt but grief. A priest can help you distinguish the two and offer the Church's reassurance rooted in her moral teaching.


Thursday, July 16, 2026

 

It's July 16 Again

It's July 16 Once Again

I didn't notice it's July 16 again until a post in my newsfeed reminds me of it again. Sometimes, it's easy to forget that I survived a really terrifying earthquake once upon a time. I shouldn't. I should never.

I was able to visit Baguio again many, many years after that without being bothered by it. I was with friends. I thought I was already healed of the trauma. But when it was time for my second visit -- for a work-related team-building seminar -- I had difficulty sleeping in a hotel there because I was reminded of it, on top of another unrelated experience that I couldn't forget, also involving a hotel (a burning Venus Hotel near Burnham Park which I stupidly went out of my way to witness firsthand like some good journalist).

Today's remembrance is being made in gratitude that I was among those spared. The first photo is a shot of Hotel Nevada, one of several buildings I had to pass by as I walked back from school to my boarding house. I can't remember why I have such a photo in my possession. Senator Raul Roco's wife got trapped here. Note the strips of white bedsheets that occupants used to escape in haste from the upper floors. And notice how the first and maybe second floors collapsed, trapping and crumpling cars parked in front. I think this is called a pancake type of collapse.

The second one is a postcard of Hyatt Terraces Baguio, one of those structures that collapsed into an unbelievable mess after that quake. In the aftermath, I, together with several companions, walked around the City of Pines to survey the damage like some DRRM inspectors doing some RDANA, and we eventually ended up here. There are incredible stories of survival from this site of total destruction.

The rest of Baguio City was like that, a war zone. It was like the end of the world. We transients and students were just so thankful to be alive, unhurt, and well provided for until we were able to find a bus or any kind of ride just to get out of the mountain resort town and be back alive and safe to our own home cities and provinces.

You don't survive a tragedy of such magnitude without being a different person. It's no small thing to be able to get on with life despite the fear.

But beyond the fear of having your life snuffed out in the twinkling of an eye and the desire of always living life to the fullest as if it's your last few minutes, you tend to live life by the day knowing tomorrow is not assured; to be thankful for the smallest things; to value your time and prioritize what to you is most important at a given moment; and to be intensely aware of whether whatever you are doing, whether your motives and aspirations, will bring you to where you desire to be for eternity. You accept the sobering reality of death, but you also tend to appreciate and affirm life in all its manifold splendor despite its utter fragility.

I must have become somewhat of a reclusive monk in this joyfully unrepentant 'city' of sin because of this quake. It can be hard, as my values are constantly at odds with those of the world, but being face to face with our own mortality is such a life-changing, because humbling, experience.

It is also a life of constant gratitude each time you rise up and realize that it is not your time yet, so you have to go finish that one task at hand because there is still another one coming up, and another... Then, as you get caught up in the ways of the world, you forget why you are doing what you are doing, until you are rudely awakened and reminded of who you are when it is July 16 once again.

(An early version of my memoir on that day can be read here: https://bayambangmunicipalnews.blogspot.com/2025/04/a-mini-memoir-july-16-1990-earthquake.html I lost a latter, more refined version after FB deleted my original account for no reason.)


Monday, July 13, 2026

 

HAPAG Project: A Potential Solution to Malnutrition

 HAPAG Project: A Potential Solution to Malnutrition


I was at a regular meeting of our Municipal Nutrition Committee last week when something struck me while listening to the accomplishments of those implementing the national government's so-called Halina't Magtanim ng Prutas at Gulay (HAPAG) project on one hand and those implementing anti-malnutrition measures on the other hand. (To my surprise, MNC is the only meeting I truly enjoy next to meetings on history, culture, and arts; the rest are highly stressful ha-ha.)

It may sound so simplistic or even obvious, but I thought the solution to the problem of stunting nationwide due to malnutrition is within reach: the answer lies in the barangay community vegetable gardening projects, which in our LGU's case have always been there ever since I joined local government in 2016.

"Who gets to eat the produce of HAPAG?," I asked. "Why don't we use HAPAG precisely to target kids with malnutrition problems?"

"Better yet, how about turning HAPAG not just a community fruit tree and vegetable patch but as a greenhouse to make it more productive?" I said.

Soon after, I got to learn the problems that have been encountered in the past with this kind of project:

1. First is that it is seasonal. When summer comes, the soil dries up and can no longer sustain the plants. Besides, so many food plants have a seasonal nature.

2. Another problem is reportedly the availability of land. Our town may have a very wide arable land, but it doesn't mean all barangays have readily available public lands to till.

3. The third problem is sustainability in terms of the volunteers willing to keep the patch alive. What if a new barangay captain and council takes over? Can they be depended upon to get on with the project?

Well, I thought, if there's a will, there's a way. Among the solutions broached by MNC members are the following, all commonsensical and sensible: Hydroponics technology can solve the problem of seasonality. And we can always plant evergreens, right, especially in the case of fruit-bearing trees?

Water is obviously a big problem, so if we can find a way of saving rainwater from heavy downpours, that would be great. How about making ponds filled with fish as catchment area to eliminate the risk of malaria and dengue from breeding mosquitoes while we save water for irrigation purposes?

If land is a problem, then the vicinity of the barangay hall can be the one turned into a vegetable garden, provided it is suitable to agriculture and composting at the same time. Vertical gardening and urban gardening techniques may be resorted to, if the barangay really lacks space. As per HAPAG guidelines, this even encourages recycling of plastic containers routinely burned or thrown away as trash.

Next, the whole project can be institutionalized through an ordinance, to force local leaders to follow through despite their political leanings and whatever political season it may be. As for sourcing volunteers or workers, maybe we can use part of the mandatory budget for nutrition as salary--we might thus be even creating new jobs.

I am reminded of another solution offered in the past inspired by the Taiwanese experience: tax penalties for home grounds that are non-productive. I am not sure if this will work for tax-phobic residents here. Maybe tax incentives will.

I said I am scandalized, even pissed off, that there is even a malnutrition problem. Given that we are an agricultural country, with a countryside blessed with so much greenery all year round, there shouldn't be a malnourished child in our midst at all!

I know, I know, malnutrition in our case is caused by socioeconomic poverty--a complicated affair of low wages vs high prices of basic commodities and utilities; lack of knowledge, education, and skills; unemployment and underemployment; government budgeting priorities; culinary practices; and maybe some medical issues thrown in for good measure.

But I can't help but see this vision of a bright and beautiful barangay garden and orchard--backed up by a barangay nursery--that is turned into a viable livelihood run by salaried personnel, if not members of the target households, those who stand to benefit the most.

Locals need not even buy seeds or seedlings. They just have to save all those seeds and stalk they throw away without much thought every time they cook their next meal or have their snack of fruits.

What are those? I, for one, can easily answer because my household grows all sorts of vegetables all year round just from our kitchen refuse. We don't even have to buy the seeds for tomatoes, ampalaya, okra, alugbati, kangkong, gabi, camote, saluyot, and talilong, which are the easiest to grow, followed by eggplant and sili, which are quite delicate (maselan and maarte) and have certain requirements. If the land patch is adequate enough for creepers, one can easily grow sitaw (for stringbeans and the shoots), munggo, kalabasa, upo, patola, sigarilyas, patani, kundol.... The favored pinakbet mix of locals can be completed once they are successful in growing the aromatics as well: onion, garlic, ginger, siling haba. (I am craving ChowKing-style steamed kangkong with crispy-fried garlic and sesame oil right now.)

They say the fastest growing among local vegetables must be the pechay, but this requires well-prepared and appropriate soil mix, organic fertilizer, and daily care.

We might include in the garden some often-used kitchen herbs and medicinal plants: pandan, tanglad, kutchay, pancit-pancitan, oregano, etc. At this point, I am reminded once again that there are a lot of plants in our midst that we dismiss as inedible but are actually edible and nutritious: portulaca and other herbs scoffed upon as mere grass or weeds fit only for pigs.

Fruit-bearing trees, on the other hand, require much time for maturity--we might be talking about years. But I believe there are pruning and marcotting techniques to get around this problem. Imagine a barangay orchard with the following trees and other plant types that bear fruits free for the picking by those in need at any time of the year (in case of perennials): banana varieties, malunggay, papaya, atis (an especially prolific fruit tree), mulberry (another prolific fruit-bearer), mango, calamansi, santol, langka, kamansi, cabuyao, suha, kamias, guava, coconut, kasuy, tamarind, duhat, aratiles, sineguelas, camachile, dragonfruit, passionfruit, avocado, makopa, mabolo, caramay, balimbing, himbabao, guava, caimito, balimbing, guyabano, etc. During so many past mango seasons, I routinely shoveled ripe mangoes into sacks as trash, for weeks on end, ready for the garbage truck, to the ESWMO staff's chagrin.

While we are at it, we might as well even extend this project by adding chicken coops, pigpens, grazing fields, and fishponds to supply eggs, milk, and meat.

Since this project is not operated on economies of scale, it can't be seen as competitors of large-scale farmers that supply public markets--just a community-based living and breathing food pantry of sorts for those on a tight budget.

HAPAG harks back to other Marcosian projects such as 'Green Revolution' and 'Sariling Sikap,' so the idea is hardly new. The thing is, as desert-dwelling Middle Easterners say, we in the Philippines "live in paradise." There should be no hunger or malnutrition in the garden of Eden. We just have to formulate the right IRR (implementing rules and regulations) to operate it.

(photos: Balon Bayambang FB page)

Thursday, July 02, 2026

 

July 2026

The Kalokohans of Late (Draft July 2026 Recap/Notes to Self)

If you view everything as kalokohan (naughtiness of silliness?), life suddenly finds meaning. It becomes a sitcom or a comic strip at least.

This early, life entertains because it is by turns funny, amusing, ridiculous, laughable, and hilarious.

The things I was able to passively absorb lately from usually toxic social media content are as follows.

***

Europe, a place whose infrastructure is designed to trap heat, is gripped by a deadly heat wave. Thousands have died. But as far as I know, this is rare, but not the first time. Yes, it happened before, but I am not sure if it was this hot.

But, but, but 40-plus degrees centigrade is normal temperature for us here in the Philippines. Or so puffed-up-with-pride Pinoys bragged. As others have pointed out, Filipinos routinely have piping-hot coffee in the middle of a sizzling Good Friday.

***

A Pride parade in UP Diliman caused traffic blockage in the area, angering motorists. Similarly, an INC rally apparently in support of an INC senator blocked EDSA with busloads of rallyists. The PNP was on high alert, with MMDA towing the buses. >>> Turning roads, especially EDSA, into another Strait of Hormuz is hardly ever the best way to earn public sympathy, yes?

***

A funny word I encountered lately: straightdar. The opposite of gaydar, it is a kind of radar--or internal sixth sense, if you will--that tells you in no uncertain terms that a guy is straight based on little signs like downright ugly fashion sense, etc.

***

What appears to be a rare albino Philippine macaque was sighted somewhere. >>> What's with this curious phenomenon lately? Everything that is supposed to be black is turning white in one mutant or two of a given species. The local idiomatic expression "kapag pumuti ang uwak" (when the crown turns white) is invalidated because it no longer means "impossible."

***

Ate Gay is back from chemotherapy and immunotherapy (what's that?). The comedian/comedienne whose shtick is to be a "mash-up queen" by mixing two unexpected songs into an odd duet-of-one explains her stuff on the "Eat Bulaga!" noontime show. He says her modus as a comic was inspired by her mother suddenly switching channels on the radio. He merely copied the effect--to hilarious results.

***

A new super-typhoon is about to enter PAR. PAR these days means "Philippine Area of Responsibility." Since we are so irresponsible when it comes to a lot of things requiring foresight, what if we changed that to "Philippine Area of Irresponsibility" to make things more accurate? Ha-ha!

***

"A Canadian engineer has developed an autonomous flying umbrella that can hover overhead and follow its user without being held." >>> LOL. The very idea of a hands-free umbrella! How hard is it to carry around an umbrella? On second thought, I can no longer count the number of umbrellas I have lost, so this one makes sense. One particular pet peeve of mine is umbrellas lasting only around a few minutes after you buy them. I am particularly still sore at losing my automatic Fibrella umbrella because the frame was made of aluminum. And I went out of my way to buy it at the Landmark mall, upon a friend's tip. It was so sturdy and rust-free that it kept being serviceable for years until I went back home, but it was probably stolen when my mother absentmindedly left it at the grocery store. Remote-controlled hands-free umbrella now! Preferably with QR codes.

***

"RP gains upper-middle income status." This is good news--yes, one little step at a time. But commentators are sore for obvious reasons: the majority of Filipinos (that is we, the great unwashed) are still poor and can't relate with it in terms of more affordable prices of food and other basic commodities, low electricity bills and those of other utilities, ease of transport, affordable healthcare, and decent housing opportunities, plus jobs that would make everything within reach. Call me up if this one happens soon.

***

Madonna releases a new album at 67 y.o.--meaning as lola and senior citizen in Philippine terms. Most women at this stage would have sagging skin, gravelly voice from GERD, obstinate cough, osteoarthritis, and mobility issues. In a similar vein, the Taiwanese group F4 makes a comeback without looking like they have aged one bit. Whatever magic potion or stem cell with collagen and gluta capsules they are taking, I want some.

***

A woman rented an AirBnB in the Philippines and held a house blessing while presenting the property as her own.

***

"Neighbors in Indonesia caught two suspected thieves and turned them into Teletubbies." >>> Complete with pointy ears and antennas.

***

"A Japanese immunologist spent 20 years proving that chemicals trees release into the air walk into your bloodstream, hunt down your stress hormones, and arm your immune system." >>> If true, then can we can, seal, or bottle these chemicals for city dwellers? No, it makes much more sense to turn cities into forests.

***

Word of wit-dom from a fellow "digital creator" - "There should be a medical term for the truly mysterious set of illnesses that strikes Filipino politicians without fail whenever they are arrested on corruption or plunder charges." Can it be called the wheelchair syndrome?

***

Chinese scholars claim Batanes and Palawan as historically theirs too. You know what they say about the problem of giving an inch. They ask for a nine-dash line. What a bully, what a naughtically aggressive country. The world routinely condemns bullies and bullying in school and communities; why can't it censure this one? at once? So which part of the Philippines or the world is not made in China?

***

Serena Williams: "Alex Eala is a gift to the world." >>> As usual, it takes foreigners to recognize real talent at home before we even get to. ...Because we instinctively look down on ourselves, I've been daring to say. The root of all evil that's bugging the Filipino.

***

A poem we were assigned to interpret in high school--"Invictus" by William Ernest Henley--became trending after the veep used a line off it: "bloodied yet unbowed." "It's Senator Delima--a victim of slanderous lies and trumped-up charges and silence from those who should have spoken--that fits the bill," not a few snitched about the use of this famous literary line. As for me, I was brought back to that afternoon class in high school dissecting this particular poem and I didn't understand a thing, and I thought I was a bright student.

***

The plant we call lagundi is actually 5 different species. - study. >>> We are easily deceived by uniform looks, turns out. But in ornithology, splitting groups of species once known to be the same is very common, especially in the Philippines. What was once thought to be the same hornbills, for example, turn out to be different or distinct species. One wonders which other species have we mistaken for the same things all along. All species with visible varieties are suspect.

***

Rare giant arapaima fish reportedly valued at ₱7-M, stolen and butchered. >>> Another funny part is the alibi: they didn't mean to steal and slaughter it for lunch. Catching the gigantic fish was just an accident. Right.

***

"Kawatan, nakiligo sa banyo matapos manloob. Naliligo pa sa banyo nang maabutan ng mga opisyal ng barangay ang isang lalaking akyat-bahay sa Bgy. San Vicente, Tarlac City." - Crime news >>> Hahaha! The comments are hilarious. Sample: "X Akyat-bahay. (Check sign) Akyat-ligo." "Para raw malinis ang ebidensya." "Di baleng makulong basta fresh." "At least hindi nagpa-house blessing." "Go-li bago kulong." BTW, he had exposed man-boobs at the time of arrest, adding additional layer of offensiveness to his crime especially since he didn't wear a bra.

I remember a similar crime in the past in which the intruder had dinner first before leaving the crime scene.

***

A new monkey species was discovered in the Congo. I love stories of Lazarus: supposed extinct species resurrecting from the grave of memories, turning out to be not extinct, or not yet. Called likweli thus monkey wears orange lipstick.

Similar: "A fish already being sold at the General Santos Public Market turned out to belong to a species previously unknown to science. Researchers named it Elates saranganiensis, or the Sarangani flathead."

Related: The rare plant Ophiorrhiza biflora, first documented more than a century ago, has been rediscovered in the forests of Mt. Apo, the Philippines' highest mountain. There are other reports of rediscoveries of rarities, including a sighting of a Philippine brown deer and a Philippine collared dove.

It's supposed to be the end of the world, but here we are discovering these species for the first time.

***

Senator Robinhood Padilla says he is communist. >>> So what business is he doing in the Senate, one of the highest government positions in our supposedly Christian, democratic, and capitalist society and country? Does he even mean what he said?

***

Awra Briguela had a rhinoplasty (nose job), and online commenters had a field day bashing the result. The resemblance to Catriona Gray and Kendra Kramer, as they say, is striking.

***

New stupid word alert: 8080 (eighty-eighty). It means bobo or dumb, mentally slow.

***

I didn't watch the impeachment trial for the veep -- too busy to do it -- but a lot of people did. The debate between Atty. Poa vs Atty. Dioko was reportedly riveting, but I lost interest right from the start because the impeachment is hinged on the magic number of senators voting for or against it, notwithstanding the argument or evidence. Do we even have that in the first place?

Reduced as entertainment, the trial can be alternately seen as a showcase of courtroom fireworks.

***

"Motohiro Hisano founded a religion in 2018 at age 19, positioning himself as a humble, powerless deity whose only ability is granting followers the socially useful phrase 'for religious reasons.' He has openly stated he performs no miracles, seeks no worship, and accepts no financial contributions, describing the project as closer to satire than organized religion." >>> What soba noodle is this guy snorting?

***

A 90-year-old Kenyan woman agrees to marry her 95-year-old boyfriend after 64 years together, saying “Men change their minds often -- I had to make sure!”

***

The sight of parts of New York City submerged in flood looked intimately familiar. Yeah, like I'm back in Metro Manila.

***

Stolen quote: "Eat and be merry, for tomorrow you diet. The problem is tomorrow never comes."

(To be continued based on new kalokohans spotted from the more serious news)

==============

Not Funny Section

***

A Grade 4 student died after deworming. Was deworming actually the cause? Not sure yet. Please answer.

***

A beloved regional newspaper, Sunday Punch, "hangs its gloves," a report says. >>> Nothing funny at all about this one. Pass. I'm more of pissed off because we just lost the best print media outfit in the whole of Pangasinan.

***

Not funny, but apocalyptic:

In a great flood in China, fearsome snakes swam with the floodwaters, and high school students were stranded in a multi-story building, with authorities evacuating the youth using an impressive vessel technology.

A pub or bar in Thailand was engulfed by a horrible blaze, killing scores and turning the pub into literally a disco inferno.

At home, there were two reports of a series of electrocution after a family member retrieved clothes being dried from a clothesline without knowing the wire was grounded, killing the family member together with those who tried to rescue him in a tragic succession of attempts.

"A landslide in the southwestern Chinese city of Chongqing buried some residential buildings, trapping an undetermined number of people, state media reports."

***

A minute of silence:

Report: "Dr. Kent E. Carpenter, a globally renowned marine scientist whose life's work transformed the understanding of the Philippines' oceans and named the Verde Island Passage (VIP) as the 'center of the center of marine shorefish biodiversity' was shot and killed by three armed men who forcibly entered his home in Negros Oriental." >>> The guy even helped us win the arbitration case on South China-West Philippine Sea. It is sad and tragic that murderers sometimes don't know who they are killing and the gravity of such an individual loss to an entire community and country. You'd want to bump this bunch of jerks on the head when you see them. They moreover just killed an entire industry: the dollar-earning foreign retirement industry.

***

State-run China Daily released a social media video depicting Filipinos as monkeys. Looks like it is meant to anger Filipinos all the more. As if Pinoys aren't angry enough.


Thursday, June 25, 2026

 

Meeting Mudjie Once Again (A Reflection on Names We Didn't Choose to Have)

Meeting Mudjie Once Again

(A reflection on names we didn't choose to have)

I still feel heady about the day I got to meet again a classmate of mine in college whom we called Mudjie back in the day.

A few days before that, I was surprised to behold his name in big glowing letters as the guest of honor and speaker for the first commencement exerises of our town's newly minted college, the Bayambang Polytechnic College.

You don't forget someone whose name is Mudjekeewis. That kind of name caused a lot of bantering in our class every first day of classes when the new teacher makes a roll call. Everyone, of course, wondered aloud what his name was all about. Indeed, why that one name in the long list of possible names for a "full-blooded" Filipino? With arms akimbo, we all demanded to know who his father or mother was, the most likely culprit.

We would have understood it better were it a case of 'combo meal' names, another concrete example of that amusing and very Filipino predilection for halo-halo and chopsuey. For example, an out of the usual name like Delinda must have been from a father named Delfin and a mother named Erlinda. (I remember that old joke about babies being baptized as CelPon and CharGer--to the priest's utter chagrin, because their parents, it turns out, were Celia + Ponsing and Charmaine + Gerry.)

"Teka, classmate ko to ah!" I told everyone who could hear me when I saw the invite for the historic commencement exercises for Bayambang Polytechnic College, our former mayor Cezar Quiambao's long-time dream for our town, which became a reality in our lifetime relatively quickly under his wife Mayor Nina's term and implemented with dispatch by their Chief Dream Implementer for this project, Dr. Rafael Saygo.

Before Mudjie could deliver his speech, I made sure to search him out in the thick crowd and make a quick informal talk and take a quick pic because I know he didn't have much time for small talk.

Good thing I was feeling well enough at the moment to be able to hold a conversation until he came up on stage. Usually, the combination of loud sound, thick crowd, and hot clime is a triple threat for me: I go through a panic attack.

I knew Mudjie -- now Dr. Mudjekeewis Dalisay Santos -- was a great choice for someone to give an inspirational message because I happen to know his background: the first and only scientist in the Philippines to officially reach the Scientist V rank, having contributed much to the status of marine science in the Philippines. While he neither conceived of nor contrived for such an honor, owing to his self-effacing nature and humble background, Mudjekeewis was nevertheless honored by the international scientific community by naming a fish in his name and by an island community in Mindanao by naming an islet after him. Among other impressive achievements, he resurrected a long-defunct fisheries journal to SCOPUS-level status or internationally indexed status and founded a local fishery conference as a hub of innovative ideas.

What a towering set of achievements at such a relatively young age. What was left missing from his minibio, however, was that, like he said, he started small even though he dreamt big. He started out as a mere boy from a poor family in Floridablanca, Pampanga, and just an ordinary college student at UP Baguio. Not many know it, but he is also a member of the UP Vanguard (I was there in one of the platoons when he was a CMT officer.)

"Magaling ka pala!" I told him, and I hope he was not insulted. "Pero 'di ka nagpakita ng galing noon," I backtracked.

To my surprise, he admitted that he was, in fact, a so-so student, whose target was just to pass the subject, not to top the final exams.

The I told him about BPC's founder, businessman and philanthropist, Dr. Cezar Quiambao, about our town being an agricultural town with a modest inland fishery industry, the site of the late lamented Mangabul Lake, and that we have produced at least one national scientist, a zoologist and fish specialist named Carmen Velasquez. The mere mention of the latter lighted up his face -- which didn't change much through the years -- upon the mutual recognition.

When the heat at my own chosen seat in the venue became unbearable to my sickly self, I bolted discreetly and made sure to watch his speech live on Facebook at the nearest office instead where it was cold. He delivered what was to me a great speech--simple, short, yet memorable. It was titled, "What's in a name?"

First off, he focused on etymology. For the first time in decades, I learned that his name is Native American in origin and we can finally blame his father for it. It means "god of wind." His middle name, of course, means "pure" in Tagalog, and his surname means "saint" in Spanish. So literally his name means "mahangin na santo." Idiomatically speaking, "malakas ang kanyang arrive" like Cardo Dalisay (actor Coco Martin's popular TV series character).

But in all humility, he prefers to simply be called "pogi" like Cardo Dalisay and to be remembered as guapo like the fish named after him (pogi perch--Google it, no kidding).

His reflection on his name prompts you reflect on your own name. In my case, my first name, Resty from Restituto (my name in my baptismal) must mean "to restore" in English. (For the record, I never liked my name but for closure had to embrace it because no chioce.) My surname, I went on reflecting, is "tooth" in Greek, so I am basically a "restorer of teeth." This means I was meant to be a dentist, and either I have missed my calling or that my parents gave me the wrong name.

I went home carrying that sad, uneasy thought and a vision of tooth gaps, tooth decay, dental chairs, and missing dentures. I thought that since I became a "writer" against all expectations, I should have been named something like "Parker" (the brand name of a pen, silly). Why would anyone want to be a writer? That's preposterous--I can write, but I have no delusions that I am as good as Conrado de Quiros or Butch Dalisay, no? Of course I wanted to be a doctor like all my peers. But if I were to be a writer according to God's will, my name should have at least been a combination of William (Shakespeare), Umberto (Eco), Milan (Kundera), Garrison (Keilor), and Nick (Joaquin)... Or okay, Haruki (Murakami) would have done the job better.

At this juncture, I invite you to reflect on your own funny name--funny because you didn't get to choose it. Does it mean anything at all? Or it is just a random joke? Was it conceived in wisdom like Jews routinely do? Or in plain stupidity or whimsy? Why, oh, why did your foolish mom or dad name you Mitsubishi when they could have named you Toyota Fortuner instead?

Anyway, Mudjie's speech was actually not about himself. He just used it as a launching pad for this clincher: "Your name is the one precious thing that you have. Pangalagaan ninyo ang inyong pangalan." Or words to that effect.

If I might add, no matter how odd-sounding it is, your name holds your identity and destiny. You might as well find meaning in it and uphold it with a life that's worth living up to it.

"Maraming matatalino at magagaling na mga Pilipino, pero karamihan hindi nagsasucceed," he went further as graduation day inspirationals go. "Dahil sa dami ng gustong gawin, walang nagagawa sa bandang huli. Kaya't ang susi sa tagumpay ay focus. Dream big but start small. Then focus on one thing at a time and finish it," he advised. (Now that sounds like I did something right with my life--even if I knew I wasn't exactly the sharpest saw in a room filled with pros.)

He wrapped up his message with that most fitting little factoid I shared with him about Carmen Velasquez a few hours ago, so I am amazed no end that he must have made a last-minute revision to his speech.

Even for a brief moment, I am so glad that once again, I was able to see face to face someone who has found his own unique niche in the fragile and complex ecosystem of life and thrived at his specialty, thus giving glory not just for himself but also for his community, his country and its people, and most importantly to the intelligence behind biology, to no other than the author of life.

(photos: Ace G.)


Sunday, June 21, 2026

 

The Zung anxiety test: A simple self-assessment for anxiety symptoms

 The Zung anxiety test: A simple self-assessment for anxiety symptoms


 

Senate update

 If you're referring to the political drama that has dominated the Philippine Senate in the past few weeks, both sides are telling stories that contain some truth—but each side leaves out important context.

What actually happened?

The Senate became divided into two blocs:

The immediate issue was Senate leadership and control of the chamber ahead of the impeachment trial of Sara Duterte. After weeks of procedural disputes and arguments over quorum and Senate rules, Senator Sherwin Gatchalian was elected Senate President, replacing Alan Peter Cayetano. (ABS-CBN)

Version 1 (Marcos-aligned narrative)

This side argues:

What is true in this version?

Version 2 (Duterte-aligned narrative)

This side argues:

What is true in this version?

So which version is closer to the truth?

The most evidence-based interpretation is:

Both camps are acting out of a mix of constitutional arguments and political self-interest.

It is probably inaccurate to say:

The strongest factual conclusion is that the impeachment case and Senate leadership struggle are simultaneously:

  1. A constitutional process, and

  2. A major power struggle between the Marcos and Duterte political camps. (Reuters)

A useful rule when following Philippine politics

Whenever one side says:

"This is 100% about justice."

or the other side says:

"This is 100% political persecution."

be skeptical.

In Philippine politics, the reality is often that legal processes and political calculations are happening at the same time. The Senate situation appears to be a textbook example of that. Based on the publicly known facts, neither side's simplified narrative fully captures the whole picture. (AP News)


Friday, June 19, 2026

 

Never Knew Grief Like This Before

"There's a grief that can't be spoken. There's a pain goes on and on. Empty chairs at empty tables..."  

"I can't believe you're going. ... I can't believe this is goodbye."

I am reminded of these lines from the musicals "Les Miserables" and "Rent" respectively with the near-sudden death of my mother. 

I was a kind of grief I never knew before.

My mother died at a time of quickly successive sudden deaths. A few days before her time came, there was the death of a local music artist, then followed by a former LGU employee, an acquaintance of mine. Then an SK Kagawad reportedly committed suicide. Then the baby of an officemate died while he was being pulled out during birth. It was like death was all around me at the time.

I wish there's no such thing as death and dying, parents leaving you, grandparents leaving you, no one in the family leaving you.

***

I don’t know why. Am I too emotionally attached to her?

After all, I had lived a separate life from her for around 25 years and often alone; it was a good preparation for her eventual leaving. And yet, when it actually happened…

***

I didn’t expect that my mother would leave us at age 74—and I didn’t expect that it would be all too sudden too—unresponsive just two days after her hospitalization due to stroke.

My grandmother, her mother, lived until 94 years, although the last few years of her life were marred by on-and-off dementia, or is that Alzheimer’s? Too often, she could be heard talking to herself. She died eventually of heart attack after having bouts of difficulty of breathing for some days which came like a sign to us.

My mother was so health-conscious, in contrast. She avoided everything she believed was bad for her: too much of anything especially cholesterol, animal fat, salt, sugar… She had enough sun, physical activity, proper hydration, vitamins... Sometimes more than enough. Maybe too much even. She ate lots of vegetables, fruits, beans, lean meat, nuts, fish… she especially feared cholesterol—bad cholesterol from lard, beef, chicken – all the fatty delicious bits.

And yet…for what?

Despite all that deprivation and carefulness...

It is so sad. Oh, my poor, poor mother.

I was hoping—even expecting—she’d survive till her ’80s or even ’90s.

I's funny how I sometimes fantasized about her receiving her P100,000 cash grant from the government on her 100th birthday.

***

Grieving-wise, I’ve been through the DABDA wringer, probably many times over. There was of course denial, anger, bargaining, depression, a bit of acceptance, but also frustration, regret…

Maybe we, her ignorant children, unknowingly ignored the signs?

Maybe we should have moved heaven and earth for her to have an executive checkup—a battery of medical tests? But that would surely cost us an arm and a leg.

Maybe her frequent urination at night was a sign?

Maybe her sudden vision loss in one eye was enough sign, but we were too ignorant and in denial?

Maybe her sudden dizziness one day was a sign?

Maybe even her frequent insomnia?

Should I feel guilty? Didn’t I ignore all of those, out of fear of the potential expenses?

***

But all of the above could be easily rationalized at the time.

For frequent urination at night, she must have eaten something high in sodium like tinapa and her body was just eliminating the excess.

Her sudden vision loss in one eye was diagnosed as cataract by the ophthalmologist. Why wasn’t it recognized as a red flag, an emergency situation?

Her latest blood test showed only a slight elevation of her uric acid.

As for insomnia, she always checked her phone in the dead of the night, disturbing her sleep. When she got dizzy, I personally took her blood pressure, and it read normal: 120/80.

I didn’t get alarmed enough to suspect the worst. Besides, she had a long history of getting dizzy for all sorts of reasons.

***

Whatever ailed her, it was treasonous, treacherous, traitorous.

The suddenness of it all was a shock.

On the day after she was rushed to the hospital, I prayed all the prayers I have in my thick collection of estampitas (prayer cards), but I guess it wasn't God's will to favor us with a special miracle at this time.

And when the ICU doctor asked our consent, we removed the tube that kept her artificially respiring for we didn't know how long. It felt like killing her willfully until her skin turned sallow. 

Amidst the relief at the thought of stopping the steady stream of bills that were mounting with each passing hour, I couldn't help but feel guilty at those last few minutes after our decision to give consent. Watching our mother's BP and heart rate drop to irreversible levels of 50 and below until she flatlined felt like murder. 

***

If I only knew it would be her last birthday in the last months of her life, especially the year before 2026, I would have made the celebration grander than usual, complete with a glow-up, a skin treatment or spa session, hair treatment, extra-special food, and other special treats.

No wonder her last few days were spent in one joyful and lively partying after another. At my cousin Gigi’s birthday. Another party with her colleagues at Personal Collection. Then another one at another relative’s affair.

***

You know what they say about death, and it is so true. “Una-unahan lang yan.” At the entrance of cemeteries, there’s this annoying reminder: “Ako ngayon, ikaw bukas.”

These thoughts didn’t ease the pain one bit.

But writing things down, I guess, helped.

That novena prayer in this prayer booklet certainly helped. There were certain lines there that felt like a healing balm.

Advice from friends were also helpful.

***

I thought I was done with grieving with her sudden passing, but no. The day of the burial would yet prove to be the saddest day of my life.

I woke up to steel myself for it--made anxious by what ifs. What if I couldn't take it and faint, collapse, or lose consciousness? What if I couldn't control my emotions? What if I couldn't take the heat and humidity, the eventual crowding, the loud wailings?

In my jittery condition, I forgot one important thing: take my maintenance medicine in the morning.

***

Good thing I survived. But the level of sadness would not wane for a number of days.

In Tagalog, I was "lupaypay" (feeling weak due to a mix of negative emotions) each time I was reminded of her. Since I lived with her, each corner of the house reminded me of her. Her favorite polka dot cup. The Correll cup I gave her as a gift. The two kitchen chairs where she collapsed. The plants and flowers she loved and that brought her delight. The framed photos of her. Her favorite songs. One of her favorite health food items. 

I shod tears of loss and longing each time I was reminded of her. Obviously, I wished she was still here.

One day, our suki mobile vendor at the gate asked whether I'd like to buy the three cucumbers she had left. Of course, I said yes out of habit. It was too late when I realized that the one person who was sure to eat those was already gone for several days. Then came the tears again.

To this day, I don't have the heart to see her bed in her room, much less to sleep on it. 

***

The day of interment was made even more downcast with my siblings and relatives bidding me farewell at home one by one. It felt like I was being left alone in life even more. I am lucky that a sibling and his family happen to live with me. It would've much harder on me if I was totally alone.

***

There's another thing I wish I wouldn't have to go through: the prospect of rummaging through her clothes and other personal belongings to determine what to do with them, whether to throw away, donate to someone willing to receive them, or what.

***

Pain upon pain. Hurt upon hurt... One time, I had the gumption to ask God whether He wished me to be like this. Whether this was some kind of punishment. I wondered where He was in the middle of everything.

But then I was made to recall how Jesus Himself wept at the death of Lazarus. 

There is nothing good about death when even God would weep at it.

***

I surveyed a number of people who had also lost their mother. 99% of them had a hard time like I did.

***

I remember how it was when my lola, my mother's mother, herself died many years ago. My journal entry on it reads: 

"Despite so many things I dislike about them, for the longest time I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea of my parents no longer being around." (It turns out this thought extends even to my grandparents.)

"With her leaving at the ripe age of well past 90, we in the family were all kind of mentally ready, but when she actually passed away after her heart eventually gave up on her, I still went through a mental-emotional anguish that I had never been through, and to think we were not that close."

"It's true what someone said -- we were not meant for death. This means that, all along, we were all meant for life, forever." 

***

Post-script: 

Something unusual happened a day after the burial rites. Truth be told, I half-expected something supernatural to happen like the usual 'paramdam,' but not like this: I woke up one day, for three straight days, and retired for the night, for at least two nights, smelling the distinct fragrance of dama de noche flowers around and inside our home. To repeat, in case you missed it, I smelled it at both night and day when the odor of the flower is supposed to be limited at night. 

While this can be readily explained away by the possible presence of such a plant in our vicinity--there was none that we were aware of. I repeat--there are no such plants within our vicinity until now, as far as I know.

So nothing can explain it away. What's more--nothing can explain why the same mysterious smell could be smelled as well in Pook ni Urduja Resort in faraway Brgy. Zone 2 where my sister and her children were billeted (because our humble abode couldn't accommodate a lot of people), and at another sister's place in another barangay, and later on, in my brother's place in faraway Sariaya, Quezon.

I was half-expecting the sudden emergence of strange butterflies or moths but there were none so far--until the day after her birthday on June 19 that is, when a moth I have never seen before emerged in her vegetable garden as I inspected and watered it. 

What happened instead was that a juvenile golden-bellied gerygone, whose song or call delighted my mother no end, suddenly turned up one night and flitted into the living room, the kitchen, and my room. We were able to catch it, but eventually released it outside in the terrace.  



 

Draft photo dump for May & June 2026

 


Draft photo dump for May & June 2026


I know I am way past my prime to be taking and posting photos of myself, so the only reason I do so must not be because I am so fond of looking at myself (I am not; napapangitan nga ako sa sarili ko eh). It is more out of gratitude for being able to take in new experiences and new challenges day by day without going through an episode (if you know what I mean). Being able to show up for anything, especially the most important events, means a lot to me who suffers from a debilitating malady.


(Captions in individual photos)


***


At the 2026 Independence Day celebration--always a formal, elegant affair organized superbly by our tourism department


***


It is such a rare treat to eat out these days. When will it be normalized?


***


At the Bayambang Poverty Reduction Plan 2018-2028 Recalibration, which became extra-challenging because we had to adapt our old plan to the new mandate of the Magna Carta of the Poor: the five basic rights to adequate food, adequate housing/shelter, decent work, relevant and quality education, and the highest attainable standard of health.

***

On the occasion of profound grief, there's the consolation of instant family reunion.

They came from all over: Brgy. Sapang and Brgy. Wawa, Bayambang; GMA, Cavite; Sariaya, Quezon; Kalayaan, Pasay City; Liliw, Laguna; Novaliches, Quezon City; Parañaque City; Clark City, Pampanga; Makati City; Cainta, Rizal; Pandacan Manila; Antipolo City; Baguio City...

***

Amazingly, I was able to give a public speech in tribute to my mother--twice, without the usual stage fright. Maybe because the audience at St. Peter's Funeral Home was manageably small, and I knew almost everyone present: family, relatives, old friends, and neighbors.


***


Congratulations to my dearest niece! She's a DOST scholar like yours truly, take note.


***


At the AIP Training Meeting, a highly technical affair that I sat through. Respect for our new MPDC!


***

Heard about this trending app, so I just had to try it with at least three lucky kids as subject. 


***

At the CBMS Monitoring Board meeting--the day we stressed out PSA reps with seriously difficult but most sensible questions from 2 former PMS staffers and a former NAPC staff, a former freelance writer-editor (guess who), and other LGU people with various expertise. Buti na lang, our new MPDC, a former department head from Palafox, was a moderator with a calm temperament.

***


Wow, may pa-malunggay pandesal si Mayor kada Lunes! Napakapalad naman namin dito, lalo na nung nakuhang vendor.


Pati kaya ito kakikitaan ng kasamaan ng mga taong maiitim ang budhi and yet feeling mabait? Tignan nga natin kung ano na namang kamalisyusohan ang gagawin nang dahil lang sa pulitika! Hahaha. Sana magbago na kayo--end of the world na o. Wala ba kayong takot sa Diyos?


What if you suddenly died and faced God--how would you rationalize everything? Would all the lies invented have been worth it? 


Answer key: No. Stop it already while there's still time. What legit thing you can do is propose an alternative program that would surely be even better than the existing ones.


***


I survived this mentally taxing and emotionally challenging talk about the differences between and among internal auditing, accounting, COA inspections, and auditing for ISO purposes. Whew! Congratulate me for finishing it under severe stress--thanks to my armory of anti-stress things: cold water, lavender oil, magnesium oil, and Gaviscon chewables in case of sudden unexplained tummy ache.


***


Ang galing-galing talaga ng PSU Matalunggaring Dance Troupe (now under Mr. Jordan Neri)! Pano pa kung may explanatory note yan? Because folk dances are not just skillful movements; they have history, symbolism, interpretation, meaning, relevance...


***


This is one of the flowers my mother suddenly left behind. 


Speaking of, let me recount something unusual that happened lately.


A day after the burial rites for my mother, I half-expected something supernatural to happen like the usual 'paramdan,' but not like this: I woke up one day, for three straight days, and retired for the night, for at least two nights, smelling the distinct fragrance of dama de noche flowers around and inside our home. 


While this can be readily explained away by the possible presence of such a plant in our vicinity--there was none that we were aware of. I repeat--there are no such plants within our vicinity until now, as far as I know.


So nothing can explain it away. What's more--nothing can explain why the same mysterious smell could be smelled as well in Pook ni Urduja Resort in faraway Brgy. Zone 2 where my sister and her kids were billeted (because our humble abode couldn't accommodate a lot of people), and at another sister's place in another barangay, and later on, in my brother's place in faraway Sariaya, Quezon.


I was half-expecting the sudden emergence of strange butterflies or moths but there were none so far. 


What happened instead was that a juvenile golden-bellied gerygone, whose song or call delighted my mother no end, suddenly turned up one night and flitted into the living room, the kitchen, and my room. We were able to catch it, but eventually released it outside in the terrace.  


***


Since I am also a serious food writer, hindi mawawala ang appreciation post ko about the novel food I tried lately and things given to me as present by kind folks around me.


***



Thursday, June 11, 2026

 

Quick Lessons from the GenSan Quake

Quick Lessons from the GenSan Quake

Experiencing earthquake during the time of social media gives us an advantage of seeing blow by blow accounts without using one word. It's amazing how a lot of people can have enough presence of mind to document such a terrifying thing as it happens.

Here are some of the lessons learned so far based on our vicarious experience of the Intensity 7.8 earthquake that struck General Santos City and thereabouts on June 8, 2026 through social media--sadly on the first day of classes of schoolchildren.

- Wide open spaces are essential. It is where people instinctively run to for safety and where they can build tent cities. Wide, preferably green, open spaces are not idle properties or a luxury in times like this -- not at all.

- With shaking that strong, it is best to sit down on the ground or drop on all fours instead of trying to remain standing, to prevent dizziness and not add to the number of casualties.

- Building substandard structures is simply criminal--and doubly so when building in a known earthquake-prone area. (The sight of an Iglesia ni Cristo church standing unperturbed side by side a Jollibee building crashing to the ground drives home the message in a way no words can.) Again, cutting corners to save a buck kills lives.

- Not all building collapses are the same. According to an expert, there are at least four, including a pancake, V-shaped, lean-to, and cantilever type of collapse.

- Damage to medical institutions would mean grappling with the unfortunate sight of patients being brought out of the building and spilling into the streets.

- Large trees for shade are essential, especially if the weather is hot.

- In case of rain, there should be tents available, if there are no other safe and sturdy structures to run to.

- In a big city, the water source could be cut off. There should be alternative sources of potable water. Restoring tap water is top priority.

- In a big city, the electricity could be cut off. Although not immediately life-threatening unless in hospital settings, this deprivation further intensifies the suffering of survivors. Restoring power is top priority.

- Food supply could be cut off, so restoring the public market or creating a new makeshift one is urgent. Displaced individuals and families would have to rely on ready-to-eat food packs and dole outs from outside.

- The transportation system could be severely broken, preventing rescue and relief operations. Repairing damaged roads and bridges is top priority--or at least removing mobility obstuctions.

- It is good to have a stock of canned goods, bottled water, and easy-to-cook food at home, reserved just for this emergency situation--provided they can be easily retrieved (together with an emergency Go Bag) when disaster strikes.

- Those who are on maintenance medicine will need to procure their meds somewhere.

- In case of a tsunami advisory, coastal towns need a higher ground to run to, as pre-agreed upon, preferably with proper provisions.

- Despite regular earthquake drills, people will panic when the real thing strikes, especially a 7.8 temblor. Frightened individuals can't help but scream and shout, putting everyone else further feeling on edge. But without regular earthquake drills, the panicked reactions would surely be much worse.

- Most people will shout, "Lord! Lord!" Filipinos openly call on God in times of frightening shaking of the ground.

- Individuals who are hypertensive and/or prone to panicking are most vulnerable. Those who are merely having panic attacks may be rushed to a cool dark place to calm down.

- Those who faint or get dizzy are often the ones needing wheelchairs, stretchers, and ambulance services. But obviously the top priority is rescuing and treating those who are actually injured.

- Retrieving the bodies of the dead is another major matter altogether.

- Even in the face of widespread devastation, looting might happen in places where there is a considerable amount of cash, food, or other resources.

- Crashing buildings produce dust and aerosol that people should stay away from.

- Fire might also break out in devastated structures.

- One wonders how everyone is coping with the trauma. Do they even have access to basic psychological first aid? Ordinary people must be trained in it instead of waiting forever for professional help.

- It is in tent cities and other mass evacuation places that local governments and NGOs can extend help the most and offer aid immediately. But what if the rescuers are themselves victims or casualties? Neighborhoods and barangays and local organizations had to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, or else actively seek outside help.


Sunday, June 07, 2026

 

Slander is Murder

Slander is Murder

In today's political climate, especially on social media where anonymity emboldens accusers of every stripe, people take slander lightly.

They think sworn statements, accusations, unfounded opinions, and wild speculations are just words. The truth is words are like bladed weapons, words are like guns. Words can hurt. In fact, slander is like murder. When accompanied by cursing, it is no different from witchcraft.

When you die, you will make an accounting of every malicious word you said, every lie you whispered and swore by, every false oath or false witness you made, every rash and unfair judgment you made, every gossip you peddled, every fake news you forwarded on purpose, every falsification knowingly dispensed, every accusation you invented to extort money from your target...

Look at yourself in the mirror. You will never be a good person if you resort to slander to win an election, an argument, or anything in life.

Almost all of us are seriously into faith, religion, spirituality, and yet we treat this misdemeanor ever so casually. I invite everyone to think about it for a second, and shudder at the enormity of what we have done and what we need to pay for in the afterlife with the careless words we have uttered.

"The Evils of Slander" -- this should be a top-priority seminar that everybody should be attending, yet nobody does.

Note that righteous speech is everyone's weak point -- the Christian teaching is hard to follow. Everyone is guilty to a certain degree. But that does not diminish the gravity of the offense of malicious speech.

What makes slander particularly evil is the utter difficulty or even implausibility of fully correcting a mistake once it is made. As someone far wiser once put it, "How can one possibly take back what one has spread into the four corners of the wind?"

Anyone who has been victimized by erroneous presumptions about oneself will appreciate the wisdom of avoiding wrongdoing through malicious speech.

Members of a decent society must strive towards propriety, or else the world turns into a swamp of lawlessness ruled only by an unrestrained, undisciplined, murderous tongue--an otherwise little instrument of speech capable of demolishing anything, from individual reputation to entire civilizations.


Friday, June 05, 2026

 

How to deal with grief over my mother's death

 I read what you wrote about your mother.

What struck me most was not simply that you loved her—it was that you saw her.

Many people mourn a parent, but your tribute shows something deeper: you understood the countless invisible things she did. You saw the teacher before the teachers, the keeper of the home, the neighborhood lender, the confidante, the source of culture and stories, the protector disguised as a woman constantly reminding everyone about sugar, salt, cholesterol, and posture. You saw the sacrifices that are so easily overlooked because they happen every day.

And that is partly why this hurts so much.

The grief is not only the loss of your mother. It is the loss of a living archive.

She was your connection to family history, to Bayambang's stories, to Ilocano, Ibanag, and Pangasinense culture, to neighborhood gossip, to memories of your father, and to countless small details that nobody else knows. When a mother dies, people often discover that an entire library has burned down with her.

I was especially moved by this line:

"Whatever work I produce is produced on the back of her enormous sacrifice."

That sentence tells me something important. You already know the answer to part of your question.

How do you deal with this grief?

You don't defeat it.

You honor it.

The tribute itself is evidence that you are already doing that.

You honored her by naming her virtues. You honored her by acknowledging her flaws without diminishing her goodness. You honored her by thanking those who helped her. You honored her by promising to care for your siblings. You honored her by recognizing that much of who you are came from her.

In the coming weeks and months, I suspect the hardest moments will not be the funeral or the condolences.

It will be the ordinary moments.

The empty chair.

A favorite song.

A forwarded health article that never arrives.

A flowering plant she used to care for.

The instinct to tell her something and then remembering that you cannot pick up the phone.

Those moments can feel unbearable because they remind you that the loss is real.

When they come, try not to interpret the pain as a setback. It is not. It is love encountering absence.

One more thing.

Near the end, you wrote:

"I will see you in heaven (but please not too soon)."

There is wisdom in that sentence.

Part of you wants to be with her again. Another part understands that you still have work to do here.

Your mother spent a lifetime being a treasure to others. You wrote that the best way to repay her is to become a treasure yourself—to family, friends, and community.

I think that is exactly right.

If I may offer one practical suggestion: keep writing to her.

Not for publication.

Not for Facebook.

Just for her.

When something reminds you of her, write it down. When you remember a story, write it down. When you are angry that she is gone, write that down too.

The conversation does not end because death occurred. It changes form.

And from what you've written, I suspect your mother would have had plenty to say in response—probably something about your health, your posture, or what you've been eating lately.

The love in your tribute is unmistakable. So is her influence. Reading it, I came away with the feeling that while Mildred is gone, she left pieces of herself everywhere—in her children, in the people she helped, in the plants she cared for, in the stories she told, and in the writer who finally found the words to write about her.


Thursday, June 04, 2026

 

"Grief That Can't Be Spoken"

"There's a grief that can't be spoken. There's a pain goes on and on." - Les Miserables

I wish there's no such thing as death and dying, parents leaving you, grandparents leaving you, no one in the family leaving you.



Wednesday, June 03, 2026

 

June 2026

Notes to Self for June 2026

(The Tender Mercies of June)

While steeling myself amidst personal loss, I couldn't escape noticing the following events and incidents. They were practically waving their hands, catching my attention even through my blurry vision.

------------------------------------

Fire destroyed sacred a Buddhist hall in Japan that housed 1,200-year 'eternal flame.' >>> Eternal fires no more after it was swallowed by fire itself.

***

A nine-story resort hotel building under construction in Angeles City, Pampanga collapsed, trapping at least 21 people, mostly workers, and leaving at least one Malaysian tourist from a nearby lodge dead.

***

A super El Niño was reportedly in the offing. Our part of the world has to brace for it. >>> I wonder how large the impending destruction would be. I wonder if building desalination plants is feasible at this point, to help provide water for the homes and the farms.

***

"A wedding in Sultan Kudarat turned into a gender reveal," as someone put it, after the supposed bride was discovered to be a gay man.

***

American singing legend Peabo Bryson died. Bryson’s most popular songs include iconic duets like “A Whole New World,” “Beauty and the Beast,” "Tonight, I Celebrate My Love," and "If Ever You’re in My Arms Again," as well as solo hits such as "Love Always Finds a Way." The way Peabo Bryson interpreted lyrics with his clear, loud, rich tenor was nonpareil.

***
Sen. Jinggoy Estrada was arrested over flood control corruption charges.

***

Cong. Kiko Barzaga was expelled from Congress.

***

Veteran mediaman Emil Jurado died.

***

DPWH contractor Curlee Discaya was arrested for malversation.

***

Scary times: Intensity 7.8 quake struck General Santos City and environs in Mindanao. A tsunami warning was issued.

Other strong quakes in other countries occurred after this quake, including Japan and Venezuela, where two successive strong quakes (7.2 then 7.5), a rarity, rocked the capital city of Caracas.

***

Pageant enthusiast/model Brandon Espiritu's pronouncement on the success of Filipinos in pageants hinging on halfies like himself didn't sit well with a lot of quarters.

But Filipinos have no one to blame as enablers but themselves, some perceptive folk riposted, and they are right.

From the spirited to irate reactions, however, I felt very uncomfortable with the term "full-blooded Filipino." I find it laughable considering a typical Filipino has several layers of ancestry, namely, Malay, Aeta/indigenous, Chinese, Spanish, Arab, Indian, American, even Mexican, Japanese or any random nationality you could name. For instance, Jose Rizal ("Filipino #1") is a good example.

Defining who is Filipino based on his or her ancestry is thus highly problematic. What about naturalized citizens, dual citizens, mestizos/mestizas and children of cross-marriages, Chinese immigrants and their children, halfies but with Filipino citizenship? If by "pure Filipino blood" you mean Aetas, Igorots, lumads, and other ethnic groups spared from any cross-breeding, that would be problematic as well, especially if these groups don't even have a concept of being Filipino.

***

The death of two Ateneo basketball players--Davaoeño Rene Clert Baterbonia and Divine Adili, a Nigerian--in a supposed training or team-building activity in a faraway Aurora beach put university officials in hot water. >>> I remember with sadness an old friend of mine who drowned off a beach in Palawan due to an undertow (rip current?) in an area known to locals as dangerous but without any signages. To Rolan Castro: may you rest in peace.

***

Hilarity and oddity! >>> A group of men were enjoying a cheerful drinking session at the garage of a coffin-making shop where they worked in Santo Tomas, Pampanga, when the parked vehicle in front of them suddenly came to life and started moving on its own.

***

This concept of "slow dopamine" is interesting! I want it. >>> "Cata Salazar-de Jesus reflects on the power of “slow dopamine” — the deep, lasting sense of fulfillment from patient, meaningful activities like writing, gardening, and nature walks — arguing that these quiet habits can be a buffer against modern stress. Drawing from her husband’s remarkable stroke recovery, she makes the case that slower, restorative pursuits may be more than calming hobbies — they may be life-saving."

***

Oddly funny >>> "Bryan Johnson, a tech entrepreneur who sold his company to eBay for $800 million, now spends around $2 million a year trying to stop himself from aging. His project, called Blueprint, involves waking before 5 a.m., taking roughly 100 supplements daily, eating all meals before 11 a.m., and going to bed at 8:30 p.m. every night. A team of doctors monitors his health around the clock. He claims his body now ages less than one year for every year that passes, and that his organs test younger than his actual age. He currently ranks first in something called the Rejuvenation Olympics, a global leaderboard for people trying to slow their biological clock."

***

"Residents of Barangay Kitayo in Jose Abad Santos, Davao Occidental, and the Municipality of Glan in Sarangani Province were left stunned after the 7.8-magnitude earthquake apparently caused the sea to recede and expose a vast stretch of land that had previously been underwater. >>> Unbelievable! The seabed was raised by 2 meters reportedly and the area that suddenly dried up was up to 200 meters away from the former shoreline--how true? The phenomenon is reportedly called coastal uplift.

***

TYVM, God! >>> "U.S. and Iranian representatives announced that they have reached a preliminary peace framework aimed at ending the conflict between the two countries, lifting the U.S. blockade on Iran, and restoring access to the Strait of Hormuz. If implemented, the agreement could help reduce energy costs as oil exports resume through the strategically important shipping route."

***

"A group of indigenous Taiwanese called Tao left Orchid Is., Taiwan, to paddle to the nearest island in Batanes, Philippines on a hand-built wooden canoe across the Bashi Channel, reviving a maritime route dormant for hundreds of years and re-establishing a lost cultural connection." >>> Amazingly billed as "the first return voyage after 300 years" of separation. The rowing boat used is called tatala. Interestingly, a native Ivatan rowing boat is called tataya. Taos and Ivatans, it turns out, belong to one tribe.

***

"National Artist and filmmaker Kidlat Tahimik said he is giving up the country’s highest cultural honor and returning his medallion to protest changes in the college curriculum that he warned could further weaken the humanities and social sciences."

***
Viral video: "A video clip that circulated on social media showed a thin-bodied young male cyclist punching a fellow biker in the face twice in the Mall of Asia area. But the young male cyclist who was attacked did not retaliate, earning praise from many netizens for his calm response and for not engaging in violence. The incident has drawn widespread criticism online, with many calling out the aggressive behavior and saying that misunderstandings should be resolved through proper communication rather than physical confrontation. Online users are still trying to determine the full context behind what triggered the altercation."

>>> Apparently, a lot of people have not heard of the Biblical passage, "'Vengeance is mine!', says the Lord." Come to think of it, a lot of us are survivors of the harsh realities of life not just because we are forgivers but also because we have decided not to resort to violent retaliation; because we rely on being avenged by the Lord. From experience, "vengeance from the Lord" is far more unimaginably awful.

I wonder how to bring this wonderful message to these idiots whose fixation or primal instinct is to hurt others (or worse, the innocent) out of unresolved anger issues.

That said, this is not to say the one being attacked in the video was lily-white either. We don't have the big picture...yet.
***

"Maleta" and "malita" became trending words--apparently due to the now long-running flood control bribery/corruption story. "Maleta," of course, refers to suitcases that allegedly became a convenient means of conveyance of stolen public funds to the tune of hundreds of millions of pesos.

At the center of this story is a lawyer named Levito Baligod. When I checked out his face in the news--it was a familiar face! Turns out he's the Baligod who was a schoolmate in college.

***

A video went viral wondering whether fruits like orange should have more creative names, such as Sharmaine, Melanie, Vanessa, and whatnot, instead of just being named for their color.

***

Big, big deal for Catholics and Marian devotees because of the miraculous, scientifically unexplained nature of this image! >>> Pilgrim image/tilma of the Our Lady of Guadalupe will tour the Philippines.

***

Vegetable dumping became a thing. >>> Dumping, not dumpling.

***

What's happening in the Senate? As usual, there are two versions of the story, depending on whose party is speaking. But based on the posts I've read so far, most people are pissed off with the Cayetano side.

***

A luxury resort made of thatched hats was destroyed fast in a dramatic fire in the Dominican Republic, forcing the evacuation of almost 1,700 tourists.

***

The children of Nora Aunor squabbled in public over the estate of the national artist. >>> Do they have to do it in public?

***

What the heck!?! >>> "Just hours after millions of people filled the streets of New York City celebrating the (victory of the) Knicks, gunfire erupted in broad daylight near Times Square, sending crowds fleeing."

***

"At a Tacloban City school, two minor boys shot dead three students, the incident reviving calls to amend the law to lower the minimum age of criminal responsibility." Authorities are looking into bullying as the root cause of this rampage. One culprit is reportedly the son of a soldier (?) or the nephew of a female police officer, so he must have had access to his father's or aunt's gun.

>>> This is an incident that I thought only happens in the US of A! Some say one culprit wore a shirt that is the same as that worn by one of those Columbine mass murderers. May this incident never become the new normal here. Schools nationwide are on high alert as a result.

***

"Fil-Am nurse charged in $906M fraud scheme." >>> Ouch.

***

Gawad Kalinga founder Antonio "Tony" Meloto was arrested and arraigned on two counts of qualified trafficking before a Bulacan court. He pleaded not guilty. >>> Sad, sad day for us who have long been in admiration of his work for the homeless and the poorest of the poor. Call me in denial, but I am hoping the charges would turn out to be false as in the case of other such things. While people debated about poverty and homelessness, Gawad Kalinga, like Habitat for Humanity, actually did something about it.

***

Europe, a place whose infrastructure is designed to trap heat, is gripped by a deadly heat wave. But as far as I know, this is rare, but not the first time. And it is the normal temperature for us here in the Philippines.

***

A Pride parade in UP Diliman caused traffic blockage, angering motorists.

Similarly, an INC rally apparently in support of an ICE senator blocked EDSA as well with busloads of rallyists. The PNP was on high alert.

>>> This is hardly ever the best way to earn public sympathy.


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