PARADOXICAL

I got it all wrong. I thought I was really serving You wholeheartedly but unconsciously, my attitude had been "I am serving You because I expect You to give me what I want."

It was a basic mistake but I'm glad it opened my eyes before it's too late: God is not pleased with a service that expects reward. God is not pleased with hidden agenda. Unlike men, He knows what's in my heart and He is beyond deception.

A true servant serves the Lord in love. He feels privileged to do it. To him, serving the Master is its own reward, no matter if the service is a pleasant, fulfilling one or not. He doesn't make the fatal mistake of comparing himself, in envy, to people who prosper but do evil.

I got to read this particular misspelling in my heart when I thought that serving Him and leading my life in Him will result in a minimum of trials, or for best results, to zero trials. When trials came left and right, like Timothy was warned in the Bible, I thought God was not just angry, He was also unfair.

I was like the prodigal son's jealous brother.

I was also like Job when he found himself reciting a litany of complaints for all his undeserved afflictions. To silence him, God retorted, "Why, were you there when I created the world?"

Like these two characters, I got it all wrong. I was mortified.

The irony of all this is, the most insignificant deed done for the love of God and neighbor never goes unrewarded.

8.30.2000

posted by Resty Odon  # 2:30 AM