PARADOXICAL

This ain't funny, this ain't funny at all. You always say things that make me want to die, always treat me in a way that makes me feel I'm dirt. Why do you do this to me? I never chose who I am, and had I got a choice, I'd never ever choose what I am and what I'd become.

You disgust me, you disgust me so. You never said anything to lift me up, but everything you said discouraged my spirit. If only I could choose the people that would cross my path, I would never even dare to step next to you. You sting me so, yet you never care about the depth of my sorrows.

Go away, go away from me. You've been such a great help, thank you. You can go home now, there to torment other souls who don't share your foolish ideas. Get off me, you j*rk, you have drained me of my blood, and sucked the very marrow of my being. For several times you've made me desire not to live one moment longer. You've made me anticipate the grave much, much earlier.

Don't come back, please don't come back. Have mercy on this soul if you still have mercy to spare. I've been judged as wretched and, like a leper, I could no longer face the world.

Please leave me now, leave me here in my own private hell where I can die in peace at least, at last.

3.30.2000

(Note: I’ve always wondered how Mother Theresa broke through the bitter barrier of the world’s abandoned.)

posted by Resty Odon  # 8:58 PM