PARADOXICAL

The faith chronicles

Monday, July 31, 2006

 

Hostile


Lord, it’s so hard to live in a world you’ve given me, a world where it’s hostile to be a Christian. “Live in the world but not of it,” you said. And so I did. But I could only maintain my peace for so long. How many times do I find myself all alone in my beliefs and convictions? I cannot count the moments I am made to feel so humbled, so small, so poor and unfortunate by people who “live in the world.”

For listening to your call, I don’t get any reassurance that I’m doing alright.
People make me feel so fashionably out, so wanting, so out of tune. I am pressured to earn this much. I am told I should have been this and been that, owning these and those, doing things like they do. As a result, I get unduly discontented and pressured like they do. I am not supposed to be happy with what I am and what I have, and my face should show the proof for it.

But thanks to You, all they ever see in my face is the kind of peace that only You can give.

You have witnessed, Lord, who these unbelievers are; may You not take it against them. You’ve seen how even my own folks saddle me with artificial responsibilities as though I were answerable to all these. You’ve seen how people closest to me “seconded the motion” of making me feel unnecessary guilt for imagined failings and inadequacies.

But thank God the world is hostile to me because it means I am all right with God.

1.2002


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