PARADOXICAL

The faith chronicles

Thursday, July 27, 2006

 

Walking a tightrope


How do we strike a balance between forbearance and confronting a colleague’s wrongdoing? Where do we draw the line between forgiving someone’s personal attitudes and pointing out one’s inadequacies? Can we do these things at all?

I’ve recently found myself in the eye of such storms. I’ve felt inextricably embroiled in some persons’ private life and I’ve found that the only way out is to confront the wrongdoer head-on. But the problem is, I can't help it but react just like the rest would.

We are almost always angry at the time that we need to balace things the most. So no matter how well-meaning we may be, we inevitably end up confronting with biased views, our subsequent actions inescapably colored by our emotions. What's more, the person’s wrongdoing cannot be discussed without delving on another person’s character, or together with all those involved. Things can get pretty complicated in no time.

It is always uncomfortable to delve on somebody’s character. It’s hard enough to confront one’s own; how much more others’?

Of course the easier way out is to air our grievances to people other than the one who did us harm, which needless to say, is unfair and solves nothing and, worst of all, adds insult to the injury, especially if the third party, our supposed confidante, betrays us by spilling the beans to others.

We know in our hearts that the ideal path is the path of love. But how does one confront with love? Tough love is an oxymoron. Is it doable? We always end up being judgmental, self-righteous in the end.

Enter the need for another party: a presumably objective authority: the boss in the office, say. It’s a good thing there’s something like a boss hired precisely to bridge an ensuing gap such as these. But what if the boss breeds further animosity in its stead by taking sides and says one thing but mean another. Ultimately the boss ends up with the same dilemma as ours. Everybody is back to square one.

Life is such a complex affair. They say that’s exactly what makes it exciting. But how can something so negative ever bring excitement
6.19.99


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