PARADOXICAL

The faith chronicles

Thursday, August 03, 2006

 

Introduction to the gross anatomy of hatred


They say that hating someone puts you on equal footing with the object of your hatred. This brings me into thinking about the people I hate and, oh, how it makes me hate them all the more. My latent reaction to that is, Of course not! People despise someone because he/she is indeed despicable.

Another nasty thing they say about hate is that it is a kind of projection: the things you hate about the person are the very qualities you hate about yourself. So if you hate someone who giggles like a hyena, spreads lies about you like the devil, and always clad in rags, that means you yourself are a hyena, a cobra and a slob rolled into one, ha, ha, ha! (On second thought, that's not very funny.)

They also say that hate is a sign of frustration about your own deficiencies and inability. You hate your parents because you can't give them that new color TV they're asking for. You hate your brother because you can't find him a better job in your workplace. You hate yourself because you are not who you are supposed to be according to your personal timeline. You hate the world because you're helpless with it. Frankly, I find this thinking a bit illogical.

And then there's what they call righteous wrath, when you do the hating with the blessings of God. (Say it again?) Listen, it's like this: when, for example, I fume like an angry dragon over my male colleagues who habitually make a pass on all the pretty girls around when the whole wide world knows they are very much married (the men), and it is I who is better suited for the role (the one making a pass).

Of course there are other types of and reasons for loathing. But all types of hatred, when expressed, is such an exhilarating feeling. Though I don't remember myself breaking all the glasses at home (I don't think I could've afforded it; hatred is affected by socioeconomic factors, too, you know), I can vividly remember tearing the pages of a book with unprecedented violence, which gave me a kind of relief perhaps only comparable to that of a witch and her torture doll.

But when hate is kept hidden, you're no different from a volcano that is forbidden by law from ever exploding. Yet even hidden hatred has a way of outing itself - through gossip, cursing, lies, mockery, insult and flattery, through wrinkles, depression, and possibly, disease.

Looking over my "hateography," I think I've been both a juvenile and, um, a suave guy when it comes to hating someone. My favorite form of expressing hatred has been through sulking and complaining to a third party and my favorite form of repressing it has been through silence, by giving someone the cold shoulder, so to speak.

That's a bad idiom, though, cold shoulder. The first time I gave someone the icy-cool treatment big-time, I got to expend lots of thermal energy. The object of my hellish hatred then was my college roommate Glen, with whom I had a falling out due to the pettiest of reasons: of course I couldn't exactly remember which. Long-term pent-up emotion got me so tired that one day, when I saw Glen cross my path on the street, with only the two of us on such a lonely road it was absolutely impossible to avoid each other, we simply broke into laughter, and then we're friends again.

I'm so tired of hating people. I'm so very tired of hating the world. I wanna hear a new song, never mind if it's the mushiest of mush. Whenever I think back of all the years I've lived in recent memory, I only need to remind myself of the people I hated so much that I refused talking to them for a year. In 1997, it was the company I was working for; in 1998, my immediate supervisor; in 1999, a close friend who treated me in public like a turd; in the turning of the zeroes, someone who owed me mucho dinero; and gad!, into the next millennium, I can see the distinct face of yet another enemy.

I wish for something corny next year if not this year: I wish for love. Don't be silly. Of course loving someone is easy, but loving your enemies? Hah! Now, you're listening.

And if I ever have to hate anyone, it is because I couldn't contain my love. I want to be like that character in Graham Greene's The End of the Affair who likes to hate so much because he loves just as much, albeit forbiddenly. He says (roughly), "I measure my love by my hate. I hate your dress because they always lie so close to you. I hate your stockings for the way they kiss your legs. I hate your shoes because they always take you away from me." Oscar awardee Ralph Fiennes got to act out this part in a fine movie. Hmm, I think I'm beginning to dislike him. (Wait, have I included envy on the list?)

5.31.2000


Comments: Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]



Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home

Archives

01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004   02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004   03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004   04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004   05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004   06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004   07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004   08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004   09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004   10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004   11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004   12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005   01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005   02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005   03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005   04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005   05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005   06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005   07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005   08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005   09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005   10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005   11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005   12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006   02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006   03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006   04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006   05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006   06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006   07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006   08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006   09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006   10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006   11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006   12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007   01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007   02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007   03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007   04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007   05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007   06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007   07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007   08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007   09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007   10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007   11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007   12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008   01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008   02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008   03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008   04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008   05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008   06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008   07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008   08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008   09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008   10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008   11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008   12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009   01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009   04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009   05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009   06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009   07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009   08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009   09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009   10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009   11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009   01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010   02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010   03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010   04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010   05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010   06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010   07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010   08/01/2010 - 09/01/2010   09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010   11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010   01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011   02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011   03/01/2011 - 04/01/2011   04/01/2011 - 05/01/2011   05/01/2011 - 06/01/2011   06/01/2011 - 07/01/2011   07/01/2011 - 08/01/2011   08/01/2011 - 09/01/2011   09/01/2011 - 10/01/2011   10/01/2011 - 11/01/2011   11/01/2011 - 12/01/2011   12/01/2011 - 01/01/2012   02/01/2012 - 03/01/2012   03/01/2012 - 04/01/2012   04/01/2012 - 05/01/2012   05/01/2012 - 06/01/2012   06/01/2012 - 07/01/2012   07/01/2012 - 08/01/2012   08/01/2012 - 09/01/2012   09/01/2012 - 10/01/2012   10/01/2012 - 11/01/2012   11/01/2012 - 12/01/2012   12/01/2012 - 01/01/2013   01/01/2013 - 02/01/2013   02/01/2013 - 03/01/2013   03/01/2013 - 04/01/2013   04/01/2013 - 05/01/2013   05/01/2013 - 06/01/2013   06/01/2013 - 07/01/2013   07/01/2013 - 08/01/2013   08/01/2013 - 09/01/2013   09/01/2013 - 10/01/2013   10/01/2013 - 11/01/2013   11/01/2013 - 12/01/2013   12/01/2013 - 01/01/2014   01/01/2014 - 02/01/2014   02/01/2014 - 03/01/2014   03/01/2014 - 04/01/2014   04/01/2014 - 05/01/2014   05/01/2014 - 06/01/2014   06/01/2014 - 07/01/2014   07/01/2014 - 08/01/2014   10/01/2014 - 11/01/2014   11/01/2014 - 12/01/2014   01/01/2015 - 02/01/2015   03/01/2015 - 04/01/2015   04/01/2015 - 05/01/2015   05/01/2016 - 06/01/2016   07/01/2016 - 08/01/2016   08/01/2016 - 09/01/2016  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]