PARADOXICAL

It's a test of will and spirit to me when a lot of people that are close to me look like they need a lot of intercessory prayer. Some come really asking, some just give a hint. But they are all the same in that I need to be the friend in deed to a friend in need. You know how I approach requests like this. When I say, "I will pray for you," I really mean it, unless by some stroke of un-luck, I forget all about your request. Anyway, here's a litany of sufferings I am currently praying for, as a reminder to self: R., for his ailing mom, who's afflicted with ovarian cancer. G., for breast cancer and cysts in her lungs (although her tumors miraculously were gone after going through an introductory chemo and a session with Fr. Joey, a healing priest.). V., who is presently unemployed. M., for going through an awful crisis: husband D. left her for another woman and has no sense of remorse whatsoever. L., for her ailing mom, who's going through a lot of things: cancer, bone trouble; it must be the advanced age, but still, the financial troubles alone unbearably add up to the already overwhelming physical (for the mother) and emotional (for the child) ones. For R., who's still unemployed up to now, although he freelances here and there.

I know that when I pray for these folks, I am not giving them something from my own power. Who am I, what am I, anyway? What can I possibly give? I can only be a "channel of grace," hoping I too emerge spiritually refreshed/recharged for it. Who knows if I don't become stale as a Christian without this duty thrown at me. I can only help plead that God have mercy on His suffering people, hoping He'd listen, bribed enough by somebody's desire to care for others, even though he has his own cares and worries and troubles, which can also be too overwhleming at times.

Maybe I have something to offer, after all: the ability to bribe God - nay, please may be the right word - with the thought that His children are somewhat genuinely trying to love one another, as He has loved them.

But since God is a God of surprises, I am anticipating something, based on my own past experience. More often than not, I too gain something from all this interecessory thing, at least spiritually speaking and with reference to the here-and-now. What could that 'gain' be? Well, who knows? Only God knows. I am glad to wait for it. But I guess learning how to love others with no strings attached is not too bad? Maybe the thought that I haven't become stale so far is reward enough?

posted by Resty Odon  # 8:21 PM