PARADOXICAL

One of the things I've learned in city life is that it's hard to boycott the supermarket at the mall, if not the mall itself. Malls, gigantic private-group properties that they are, have replaced public parks and town plazas that not going to the mall is like skipping the park or the plaza. In the same way, supermarts, and not content with being super, hypermarts (as in hypertension) have replaced the mon-and-pop type of grocer or even the corner grocery store. We could say not entirely, as the traditional sari-sari store variety store still survives in area far away from the mall. But our exposure to the American-style mall and hypermart has made shopping at the neighborhood stores such a spiritual suffering.

I am reminded of these things when, due to its being walking distance from my place, I have of late become a regular patron of corner sari-sari stores and neighborhood groceries (there are at least two within spitting distance of each other). As a long-time mall-goer/maller, this has opened my eyes to the big difference between mall shopping and grocery shopping. The differences are oceanic in that the grocery can't even compare with the amenities of the convenience store, which has, like the mall, mushroomed or multiplied bacterially in the last few years not just in Manila but even in far provincial cities and towns, transforming entire places into xerox copies of each other.

One of the hardest things I have to get used to in this life of downward mobility (to steal from both Henri Nouwen and Jean Vanier) is the limited space, to which I am allergic. The owner has to cram everything into one place such that when, God forbids, an earthquake strikes, the coffees and creams and sugar packets would instantly congeal into a 3-in-1 mix, and the toilet bowl cleanser would form novel chemistry elements upon contact with the liquid detergents and fabric softener/conditioner (it used to be that hair was the only one being conditioned). The likelihood of the 3-in-1 mixing with the newly formed element in the periodic table would not be slim either, but a great possibility. This travail has taught me to not just go beyond my comfort zone, but also to appreciate the value of sweating profusely, not to mention develop m imagination for postearthquake mismatch scenarios.

Another punishment I have to endure is the comparative lack of variety of the items sold plus the problem of missing favorite brands. One time I had to settle for a striped variant of my preferred toothpaste against my will; another time I was faced with the prospect of getting stuck with the original just when I was getting used to the striped one. Could the arrangement me the grocery's way of getting rid of stocks from their inventory, like the way they move their bowels? Because of this, I have learned the value of making do and in the process developed the virtue of contentment with my lot, i.e., to accept the grocery god's will for me at a given short trip. This is perhaps the price I have to pay for the brief walk in place of the long ride to the mall to buy stuff for the home.

Another ordeal, or to make it sound more positively, challenge, I have to face is the pricing. The prices seem lower in the hypermarts owing the logic of economies of scale. Unless the grocery i owned and operated by someone of Chinese ancestry, the corner grocer is sure to have higher tag prices, that is if there are tag prices at all. More often than not, grocers don't have a troop of busy mechandizers to do the job of tagging each product individually, thus the cashier relying solely on the bar codes. The thought of savings I have to forgo, however, is offset by the thought of the fare and energy I have to spend trooping to the mall together will a hundred other mallers who unfailingly ensure heavy traffic to and fro. As for the convenience store, which is located midway, the offerings are of a different breed: instant everything in bite sizes and undestandably in substantial markups to offset the cost of a 24/7 operation. This way, I have learned to rationalize and intellectualize mathematically, thus developing the twin virtues of addition and subtraction, two of life's basic calculations/operations.

I know I will always revert to the mall anytime, for the convenience/comfort/space, variety of choices, and friendlier prices, but I would be a lot guiltier. Despite the hardships I endure at the corner purgatory called the grocer, I am consoled by the virtues I gain, the unexpected rewards of little heavens of thought. With the thought that I support struggling family-owned enterprises and with it, distributist economic principles; with the thought that small operations don't eat everything up along its path, really play by the natural laws of the free market, and actually fostering fair trade and competition, I find the contentment and peace of a shopper's self-righteousness.