PARADOXICAL
The faith chroniclesTuesday, March 26, 2013
The many ways we betray Christ
How do we betray Christ? By our selfishness.
Let's look at the motives of Judas in today's Gospel passage. Why did he betray Jesus despite experiencing his unconditional love for three years?
We know that Judas was selfish, because we know that he had embezzled donations (see John 12:6). Intent on finding "what's in it for me?" he wanted Jesus to become a messiah who would deliver him from Roman oppression. Jesus turned out to be quite an uncontrollable disappointment. Judas was so blinded by his own strategies that he could not fathom the possibility that God might have a better idea.
Self-centered people like Judas don't like to sit idly by and accept disappointment. When he decided to take control by turning Jesus over to the Jewish authorities, he asked, "What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?" Until they promised a reward, handing Jesus over was still an if.
No wonder Judas committed suicide! He was unable to recognize the forgiveness that Jesus made available to him, because at the heart of every self-centered person is the belief that they are unworthy of being loved. Selfishness comes from the notion that if I don't take care of myself, no one else will (not even God!) because I don't really deserve it.
Are you ever disappointed that Jesus is not what you want him to be for you? We all fall into this "what's in it for me" trap whenever we're upset that God doesn't answer our prayers the way we want him to, or when we give our problems to Jesus and life doesn't get easier, or when he asks us to do something that's difficult and unrewarding.
We fall into the "what's in it for me" trap whenever we search for our own solutions after trusting in God and not getting the results we want. We succumb to it by listening to our self-protective fears. Selfishness tells us to protect our wishes, our happiness, our comfort zone, our possessions and our lifestyle. It blinds us to the possibility that God might have a better idea.
Like Judas, in our selfishness we betray Jesus. We profess to trust him as the Lord of our lives, and yet our self-serving decisions prove otherwise. We believe in him only when it suits our purposes. We adore him only when it's easy.
The question is not "Have I betrayed Jesus?" but "How quickly do I seek his forgiveness after I betray him?" Peter betrayed Jesus, too, but he loved Jesus so much that his selfishness lasted only a little while.
Imagine that you're sitting with the disciples at the Last Supper. Jesus has just dipped his matzah into the spice dish, and he hands it to you. He's looking you in the eye. He knows your heart. He loves you despite all your betrayals. What will you say to him? Admit your betrayal; receive his smile. He will now take your sins to the cross with him. Remember to do this at every Mass, because the liturgy transcends time to connect us to the real Last Supper.
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