PARADOXICAL

The gravity of the situation has not really sunk in with many people. Like this guy based in Manila who wanted to come home because his dad just died and he wanted to be with his family. He thought he could easily hop on a bus going home. There are no buses, of course, and there are too many checkpoints in the road going north, so tough luck. What could I do but tear up at his quandary, which I am sure he will never forget.

I myself am practically a PWD, a person with disability, psychologically that is, with my panic attacks and all. On a bad day, I can't just go out and walk beyond one block because, I know this is crazy, but it triggers debilitating palpitations, like I am having a heart attack! The fact that I live with three senior citizens with their own health issues does not make my life any easier. But there are so many little things to be thankful for in the midst of the many difficulties brought about by this pandemic.

People have been giving fruits and other food items for free: Bing's green chili and eggplant, Ate Linda's jackfruit and eggplant, Ate Virgie's mangoes,  Carlo's carabao mangoes...

We were also able to give something in return, for our mango tree in front is loaded with fruits, though it's not the most preferred variety (reportedly Hawaiian, instead of the much desired Indian and carabao mango), green banana variety called ebeb from our garden at the back, and 'Chinese' kangkong tops.

Reputable ambulant vendors have been selling food stuff we've been looking for: pork sold by partidors (I learned a new word in the local language), dressed chicken, galunggong, bangus (not Bonuan, though), tilapia, turnips... A guy from San Pascual, Bani, sells pan de sal the traditional way "by pot-pot," that is, on a bike with horns.

There are people willing to buy food items for us, of course with a minimal to considerable charge, thus satisfying our cravings. Jona and Grace have bought for us fresh batches of loaf bread, pan de limon, pinakbet vegetables, sineguelas, etc. from the public market.

Ace have been our 'dysfunctional' household's "alay" or our go-to runner boy for everything, from hard-to-procure grocery items to maintenance meds to payment of utility bills. Where can one find a person willing to risk his life like that even for a fee? He once bought the wrong bean -- white kidney beans instead of white beans, but I am thankful that our family discovered a new bean to cook. I even discovered new crackers that turn out to be delicious or filling: So Lucky, Whatta Flakes by Lemon Square. I even get to taste an old favorite, Nissin's Butter Coconut flakes. If not for Ace, my last resort would perhaps be Carlo, my sister's husband.

Magic Supermart recently came out with its online ordering system and door-to-door delivery of grocery items, so my family is able to have things we otherwise would not be able to get so easily.

My mother is still strong to do important chores at age 69.

I thank Jocelyn for pointing me to the YouTube videos of the unbelievable Lizi Qi! Now there's a distraction that is not aggravating but instead relaxing.

I am able to discover new bird species, at least through the new strange twittering I hear. (Is that the yellow-black oriole called kilyawan?)

When things settled down a bit, and I became calm enough to enjoy anything, I was able to watch and enjoy a grand production, even just online, The Phantom of the Opera. Now, if only I could regain my desire to watch movies too.

I am thankful for the luxury of blogging -- though it's more of a therapeutic necessity for me.

I thank God I still have a job. So many people have lost their jobs overnight.

I thank God I am still alive, together with the rest of my family. Jack Ma was quoted as saying that this is "the greatest profit" we can have at this point. In the Christian perspective, of course, the greatest profit is not to remain alive but to be saved, to gain eternal life.

The most apt soundtrack for this therefore is a most humble Tagalog church song (that is, no desire to impress) titled "Walang Hanggang Pasasalamat" reportedly by Leo Olivo Rosario. The second honorable mention, because it has the same unassuming spirit, goes to "Alam Kong May Magagawa ang Diyos" by I'm not sure who because I can't even Google the name of the composer.