PARADOXICAL

What is Success?

This question has been bothering me once again ever since the reported death of a DPWH Undersecretary, apparently a suicide, or so the news reports say. Hers was the embodiment of a highly credentialled bureaucrat, one much sought-after in the marketplace, so why did she end up just like that, and for what?

In my younger days, I was kind of obsessed with the question of success. At the time, I accepted without question what it meant for the most number of people. I found that, in order of importance, it meant attaining higher education or degree, having a stable job, being able to purchase not just one's basic needs (food, shelter, clothing) but also get what one wants (nutritious and delicious food, a house in a gated village, a car, fashionable attire, a happy because well-provided for family of one's own, etc.), having years of experience resulting in expertise in one's field, being respected in one's chosen profession, being able to mentor others and give back to the community, being honored and looked up to by society because of it, and having a sense of fulfilment and inner peace.

The above definition is neatly summed up by the psychologist Abraham Maslow in his concept of hierarchy of needs.

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Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs"

To review, in 1962, Abraham Maslow proposed that people (and all types of groups) live by a “ladder” of basic needs and drives. His research focused on the motives of people who were the most successful in their lives. Our primary human needs, according to him, are, first of all, survival. When we master our immediate needs for food, water, safety and security, we shift our focus to relationships, to feel love and belonging. When we master the art of relationship-building, we shift our focus to our self-esteem. Once we are able to feel a sense of self-worth, we shift the focus to self-actualization, i.e., overcoming the fears that are preventing us from becoming viable, independent human beings.

During self-actualization we learn to release the fears that keep us trapped in our dependency-based existence so that we can be free to be who we really are.

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Barrett's "Seven Levels of Consciousness"

Richard Barrett -- an internationally known culture consultant and keynote speaker on values and cultural transformation -- has developed his "Seven Levels of Consciousness" as an adaptation of psychologist Abraham Maslow’s model of the “Hierarchy of Human Needs.”

Barrett aims to develop values-driven organizational cultures that build human capital, strengthen financial performance and support sustainable development. In "Liberating the Corporate Soul," Barrett proposes that Maslow’s categories of needs represent states of consciousness. The state of consciousness called "self-actualization" could be expanded to include four distinct stages in the emergence and development of soul consciousness and spiritual awareness:

- The first state of consciousness is "transformation," which is all about improvement, empowerment, and innovation; about letting go of one's fears relating to the first three human needs.

- Next is "internal cohesion," which is all about shared values and shared vision (trust, integrity, and honesty -- could he mean "wholeness" too?).

- Next is "making a difference," which strategic alliances and partnerships, community involvement and environmental awareness.

- Lastly, a mature (and indeed truly successful) individual's state of consciousness at the self-actualization stage is "service," which is about compassion and wisdom, ecology and sustainability, ethics and human rights.

To Barrett, these seven levels of consciousness that he identified together explain the motivating forces behind all human interactions and behaviors, the behavior of people, business and non-profit organizations, government agencies, and even nations themselves.

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Whitfield's Expanded "Hierarchy of Human Needs"

In 1987, Charlie Whitfield, an inner child theorist, has developed his own compilation/hierarchy of human needs, based on not just Maslow's "physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, self-actualization" needs, but also Alice Miller's concept in "Thou Shalt Not Be Aware" (Du sollst nicht merken) that she developed in 1981, Andrew Weil's 1973 conceptualization of "human need to alter consciousness," in his bid to explain why people take illegal drugs, in his book "The Natural Mind," and William Glasser's 1985 work, "Control Theory," which outlines the five basic needs that drive human behavior, which are not hierarchical but rather universal requirements for psychological health and happiness: survival (the need for physical well-being and safety); love and belonging (the need for connection and relationships); power (the need for significance and autonomy); freedom (the need for independence and autonomy); and fun (the ultimate goal of human behavior). These needs, Glasser insisted, "are hardwired into our genetic structure and serve as the motivation for everything we do. By understanding these innate needs, individuals can evaluate their own behavior and create environments that enable them to thrive"

From all these earlier conceptions, Whitfield expanded his hierarchy of human needs, to include the following: 1. survival; 2. safety; 3. touching, skin contact; 4. attention; 5. mirroring and echoing; 6. guidance; 7. listening; 8. being real; 9. participating; 10. acceptance; 11. opportunity to grieve losses and to grow; 12. support; 13. loyalty and trust; 14. accomplishment; 15. altering one's state of consciousness, transcending the ordinary; 16. sexuality; 17. enjoyment or fun; 18. freedom; 19. nurturing; and 20. unconditional love (including connection with a Higher Power).

Needless to say, not fulfilling any of these very human needs implies a degree of failure on our part.

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In the context of the corporate world, other related theories of human motivation you might want to learn about to help gauge your level of "success" are: Herzberg's Two-Factor Theory (or Motivation-Hygiene Theory), McClelland's Theory of Need (to achieve), and McGregor's Theory X-Theory Y.

- "Herzberg’s two-factor theory suggests that job satisfaction is influenced by two factors: motivators and hygiene factors. Motivators, like recognition and achievement, lead to higher satisfaction and motivation. Hygiene factors, such as salary and working conditions, prevent dissatisfaction but don’t necessarily motivate. According to Herzberg, both sets of factors are needed to create a productive work environment."

- "McClelland's Theory of Needs, or Acquired Needs Theory, suggests people are motivated by three learned needs: achievement (drive to excel, succeed), affiliation (desire for relationships, belonging), and power (urge to influence or control others). The theory posits these needs are acquired through life experiences, shaping behavior and work preferences, with individuals often having a dominant need that managers can use for motivation."

- "McGregor's Theory X and Theory Y are two contrasting views of employee motivation: Theory X assumes workers are inherently lazy, avoid responsibility, and need strict control and punishment; Theory Y assumes employees are self-motivated, enjoy work, seek responsibility, and thrive with autonomy and trust. Theory X leads to authoritarian management, while Theory Y promotes participative, trusting leadership, with McGregor favoring Theory Y for better overall results by tapping into higher-level human needs like self-actualization."

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Flow

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's concept of "flow" is also often cited as some indication of success, "a mental state of complete absorption and deep enjoyment in an activity, often called being 'in the zone,' where you're so immersed that nothing else seems to matter."

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Back to my younger years of obsession... To know what other people around me really think of the subject, I once surveyed my friends what success meant to them. Their answers were eye-opening to me at the time. Because, it turned out, everyone had a different definition of what success meant.

We each have a different definition of success, it turns out. Each definition is revealing, because it gives a clue to what a particular person values the most.

In my case, at the time, success meant being able to keep myself fit and healthy, being able to do repairs in my dwelling place, being able to repay my loans, and learning French or Spanish and other new things that could lead to "multiple streams of income," etc.

In my present circumstance, for the year 2025, my definition of success has drastically changed. In the workplace, at least, what other may people dismiss as an unambitious failure or see plainly as a sickly coworker always riveted at his desk is someone who, in my own estimation, is actually a very much purpose-driven and highly ambitious but silent worker who has accomplished a lot considering everything:

- writing and editing approximately 800 news articles for the official Facebook page and website,
- coordinating with organizers (any of the random 30+ local government offices and agencies and some CSOs) for data,
- assisting the same with their requests
- helping respond to comments on each news item,
- producing 12 local government newsletters,
- helping produce a new parish book,
- finishing the 2025 Town Fiesta Souvenir Program (which is practically a tome),
- helping produce the local chief executive's First 100 Days report (which is practically a book),
- supervising the production of the local chief executive's State of the Children's Report (which is essentially a booklet),
- entertaining interviewers from all over asking about local history and culture
- making a bold attempt to update the town's history,
- being invited as a guest columnist in a regional newspaper,
- finding at least one of the vanishing food items I have been hunting down,
- launching a comic strip in the Pangasinan language,
- writing a series of new articles about local culture including its highly nuanced language,
- being able to write other wide-ranging articles on the side that I am passionate about and feel like sharing with anyone willing to read long-form text,
- being able to stay healthy enough to be able to do all these things, and so on.

As for the other aspects of life, let's just say I'm in that stage in life where I try to make peace with the things I didn't or don't have. That stage where I am no longer eligible for competition and the rat race, where I have learned to compete with just my past self at my own pace, as I listen to the beat of my own drum.

I have been a recalcitrant worrier and complainer, but I've learned my lessons: to be grateful for what I still am able to do despite my limitations in resources, talent, ability, and relationships because someone up there allows it at all, and to be humble because so many people are actually involved behind those so-called accomplishments.

Defining success in a personal way is highly subjective, but we all roughly agree what it means. It depends on social and familial expectations, and one's own personal mission-vision, goals, and objectives, and a combination of both outside and internal modes of validation.

But there are times when someone's story shakes us up. I've met people who say something like, "I've been successful at work, but I am a failure at home." Or: "People see me as this very confident and highly successful person, but deep inside is a broken, hurting, fearful, and insecure soul."

Then we hear people we assume to have everything we don't have claiming they are lonely, broken, feeling incomplete, and even wanting to end it all. Puzzling, from our own perspective. How many celebrities we know -- millionaires, billionaires -- battle these inner demons in their life?

Hearing their stories now and then, I can't help but recalibrate things in this life. I think about my own deficiencies, and then survey what I actually have and realize how I have some things that others don't have. Life, they say, is all about ups and downs (or pluses and minuses), and I have indeed my own share of downs, but I also do have some ups. I don't exactly score zero in the game of life, no matter how laughable my SALN reads. You win some, you lose some -- that's how the cookie crumbles.

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The best definition of success that I've ever heard so far is something that really shook me up from my core being because I never thought of it at the time. "What does success mean to you?" I asked an elder whom I considered a mentor from the helping profession.

He said, "Success (to me) means following the will of God." Of course, he meant, "We may have become very successful at something through our own effort, but it means nothing if it is not according to the will of God."

To put it bluntly, real success is therefore living one's life here on earth in a way that assures us of winning the ultimate prize. Apart from that, everything else is, in today's parlance, a "big fail."

(Technical/psychological definitions in parentheses were generated through AI.)

posted by Resty Odon  # 4:26 PM