PARADOXICAL

Thank You Lord for the year that was for the following reasons: First is family. ...that my parents are still with me. Despite so many things I dislike about them, I can't wrap my mind around the idea of them not being around. It's true what someone said -- we were not meant for death; we were all meant for life, forever. (I had this realization when my lola on my mother's side died at the ripe age of well past 90, and we were all kind of mentally ready but when she actually passed away, I still went through a mental-emotional anguish that I had never been through before, and to think we were not really close.)

Thank God for siblings, especially since I'm alone in life and I have no other recourse but my family when in dire need. 

Thank you for nephews and nieces -- each one is precious and dear to me, although I have secret favorites (secret unless it's obvious) -- their mere presence (a lovable one) teaches me how God unconditionally loves us all, i.e., when we still are not capable of giving back anything to Him). May the Lord, through their guardian angels, bless and protect them always. May they live out their lives to the fullest and be blessed with gifts and talents for the greater glory of God, in the service of His people.

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Thank you for classmates and other friends, including relatives. They certainly are a blessing as well, for they make life a lot better in so many ways. Bless all our friends, Lord, and don't hesitate to give more, for as they say, "the more, the merrier." Please repay a hundredfold those who I am unable to repay with their kindness and generosity of heart.

I am grateful, for example,  for this friend who introduced me to a new Catholic author whose writings I find very instructive at this time of my life: Fr. Richard Rohr. Thanks for the many wonderful new insights.

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Thank you for the job that I have because I am able to give back to my hometown in different ways using the little talent/writing ability that I have developed through decades of hard work. Thanks because I became a published co-author this year, thanks to Ma'am Clarita's book project on the history of St. Vincent Ferrer Church and parish. For all the writing opportunities that I totally enjoyed (especially the historical- and cultural-themed ones), even though the work can be exhausting, thank you. May God grant me enough strength so I could continue to write useful stuff for so many years (but without the exhaustion, please). Please preserve and protect my mental/physical faculties then, especially my ageing eyes and my disease-prone ears, that they may continue serving your purposes. This job is unforeseen and unplanned, but if you have something better (healthier) for me in store, I would also gladly welcome it.

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Thanks most especially for the opportunity to work for a one-of-a-kind mayor, such an unexpected blessing for Bayambang. May all his noble and heretofore unthought-of projects come to fruition: a world-class tertiary hospital, a decent bonery with chapel, circumferential road, coliseum, massive irrigation, bridges, water amusement park, aqua-agri-eco-park, mall, hotel, etc. May there be more public servants like him. Continue to imbue him with your wisdom because his decisions literally affect thousands of lives. May he also learn to slow down so his people won't be demoralized.

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I have lost to death, from various illnesses, all the people who knew me the most: a counselor, two spiritual guides of sorts, two peers who knew me more than most people.... Lord I pray for new trusted confidants who will accompany me in my difficult journey. In transferring to my hometown, I have also lost two important spiritual communities, so may my spiritual needs be fulfilled by new ones, please. May there be one at church (even going to church to fulfill my obligations is very hard for me due to my proneness to scary palpitations) and especially at work. May a former mentor heal from a serious illness he has been struggling to survive.

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I don't like watching the news because of the constant stream of graphic images of violence and death -- which always bring me palpitations. I am most scared of sudden death, especially from vehicular accidents. Lord, spare me and my loved ones from such a fate, and also from such terrible illnesses as stroke and cancer. And also against allergies -- it saddens me quite deeply when food which is meant to nourish and sustain life becomes a kind of poison, or the body's enemy.

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Thanks for all the answered prayers, especially all the illnesses and maladies recovered from, whether naturally or supernaturally. Continue blessing all of us with life, Lord, and bless the work of our hands with success, again not for our own sake, but always for your greater honor and glory.

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I pray that friends/coworkers/others who fall for the lies of the homosexual/lesbian lifestyle, especially homosexual sex, repent of their sins and change their ways. May they not wait for HIV-AIDS before it's too late. May the church also do something about fornication among teens and singles. What used to be unthinkable during our time has become a common thing, I'm afraid, which is so sad. May you intervene, O God, in the lives of our wayward youth.

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Thank God for these adventurous food vloggers on YouTube. They give me vicarious thrills and open my eyes to the wonderful world that is out there that is not being covered by the daily dose of news, the exhilarating diversity of culinary cultures around the world, the endless variety of fruits and other food (feels like I am in Eden), the sights and the history behind, etc. that we haven't had access to for the longest time. These things make me so thankful to God. But this sort of online travel/adventure is also a double-edged sword, for it also unintentionally exposes me to certain shocking things like poverty in Africa (just like here, or even worse), the harsh Islamic culture of Saudi Arabia and its barbaric ways of punishing its own citizens, and who knows what else. May globalization, especially exposure to the charm of Catholic cultures, make these societies inimical to the Christian faith (and civilization) turn to the one true faith without ever turning back. 

May Filipino Catholics around the world serve as effective evangelists/messengers of the Good News, whether in post-industrial cultures of Europe or in Muslim and other non-Christian countries.

Please heal me Lord of what has been ailing me for years now: debilitating palpitations due to episodes of extreme anxiety/panic attacks, with agoraphobia, including fear of walking beyond one street block or not even, the fact that I can't stand watching footage of graphic violence, the sight of car accidents, great destruction, and the like, when those should be normal things for me, being a writer and all, extreme fear of public speaking, especially in front of a great crowd, and other mysterious phobias that prevent me from enjoying life to the full and from serving the public better.

Please help my family find an able caregiver for the 3 seniors I live with and take care of because of my own inadequacies.

Please help me address my major stressors at work one by one by finding the right person to help me solve them: when 2 or more tasks need to be done urgently (especially for immediate posting on the FB page), and I can't delegate it to someone I can trust, and all the while I'm in the middle of composing a nice speech or article; it especially sends me into angry and panicky mode when there are requests for speeches and the deadline is tomorrow and I know that I can't rely on anyone else because my deputy is also occupied with other important things, while the others can't deliver the work according to standards; when office communications pile up several pages thick requiring paperwork and I have events and meetings to attend; when I am told to attend a meeting that I believe is beyond my scope of work as PIO, like when they include me as member of a certain council or special body devoted to a field that is beyond me (anti-drug abuse, child protection, etc., etc.), thus spreading myself thinly and wearing me out at the end of the day; when people from other offices/departments ask me to write or edit their work even when they know how much my workload is and I find it hard to say no because of fear and because I am in friendly terms with them (maybe I fear being disliked too much and I am very weak at asserting myself);  when I am given other challenging (though flattering) tasks that I imagine to be beyond my abilities.

Please protect us all from untoward incidents, sudden, unprovided death and debilitation, the extreme wrath of mother nature, and the like.