PARADOXICAL

(Drafted this last weekend and posting just for fun, to see whether I could come up with something unique and original for a graduation message or something that sounds unmistakably mine and won't come off as AI-produced or -assisted.)

"Tao Ka Lang, Pero Magpakatao Ka"
(Message to Graduating Class of 2026)

Una sa lahat, ako ay nagpapasalamat at narating ko ang puntong ito. Sa edad na ito, sigurado akong nagkaroon na ako ng napakaraming pagkakamali sa buhay. Ngunit ibig sabihin lang nito, marami akong maikukuwento kung paano ako nadapa at nagsumikap tumayong muli. But more accurately in my case, it's more about obstacles and challenges that I needed to overcome.

Pag tinanong ako ng, "What have you learned in life so far?", marami-rami akong maaaring isagot at 'di ko alam kung paano magsisimula. Minsan, may napanood akong nag-speech na bagong graduate imparting lessons in life. I was so surprised: "Ano kaya ang maaari niyang maibahagi sa puntong iyon ng kanyang buhay kundi kung paano maging successful na...estudyante?" Pero 'pag may edad ka na pala tulad ko, huwag iismolin ang sarili, dahil siguradong marami ka nang puwedeng sabihin at ishare sa buhay.

Sa dami ng naging interes ko bilang isang freelance writer, di ko ine-expect na magiging isang interes ko ang pag-aral sa pagiging tao o paano maging tao. I graduated with a degree of BS Biology, so nakababad ako noon sa study of life o pag-aaral sa buhay -- yung literal na buhay, yung physiological, biological, at biochemical aspects. 'Di ko akalaing 'di ako makukuntento rito, at mas gusto kong aralin pa ang buhay sa mas mataas na lebel: kung ano ba ang buhay, para saan ang buhay, at paano mabuhay at maging maayos na tao sa buhay na ito.

One day, I realized that I find being human so fascinating when I stumbled into someone's email signature quote in Latin. It says, "Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto." It means: "I am a human being, and I consider nothing human alien to me." Walang tungkol sa pagiging tao ang hindi ko pag-iinteresan.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tawag sa branch of study ng pagiging tao at pagpapakatao. Wala namang kursong ganun. Hindi naman ito humanities lang, o anthropology, sociology, psychology, religious studies, philosophy, o ano pa man. Ang pinakamalapit dito siguro ay ontology o study of being, pero hindi ako sure du'n. Interdisciplinary studies siguro ang mas nararapat. Ang pag-aaral ng pagiging tao, or more specifically pagiging mabuting tao, ay maaari lamang gawin sa AUCL o A University Called Life.

Anyway, I am here to talk about lot of the things I have learned about being human, which are mostly funny and frustrating stuff. Oo, parehong nakakatawa at nakakapika pala ang maging isang tao. ...Because Homo sapiens is a funny and a silly species.

1. Una, I learned that we, human beings, are without exception incredibly stupid and slow. We know that what we do is wrong, yet we still do it.

Worse, sometimes, we don't even know what we are doing yet still we do it.

I learned a high-sounding word that refers to this: concupiscence. They say this is due to our fallen nature.

I was able to make this conclusion by observing not just my own kapalpakan, but of course, everyone else's all around me. Because of my diverse work experience and membership in a number of organizations, and the nature of my current work where I get to meet new people almost every day, I have the fortune of having met so many people, and a number of them in a deep way--I mean, less superficial than, say, a mere hi, hello, a casual how are you, and how's the weather?

I had met a fairly good number of people in my community and in the bigger world outside in a deeper way when I joined various organizations and most especially when I tried years of psychotherapy and group therapy. I have met awful drunkards, drug addicts, gambling addicts, ex-convicts, ex-seminarians, agnostics, atheists, apostates, and sex addicts of every shade--fetishists, serial womanizers, porn aficionados, masturbation addicts, peeping toms...

It will take a lot to shock or scandalize me.

A well-known psychologist once said: We are all capable of anything -- anything at all. It just depends on the circumstances.

What this means to you and me is... many things actually.

First, know yourself. If you are not aware of your weaknesses, you will be ruled by your so-called demons without even knowing it. The world will surely go through a lot of suffering because of you.

Not all people are similarly afflicted with fallen humanity. Some are more unfortunate and more afflicted than others. If you are having a lot of disagreement with yourself but find yourself trapped by your own inexplicable impulses or compulsions, most likely, as they say in psychology, you have an issue or a form of neurosis that you need to address seriously.

The more unfortunate ones are those afflicted with psychosis, but I am unable to get there, having very little knowledge and experience on the matter.

Second is, knowing your nature, be humble. That is, be truthful about yourself -- the rest naturally follows.

This certainly doesn't mean you demean, debase, or devalue yourself. Know your weaknesses, but know also your strengths. But don't take yourself so seriously and again, don't think of yourself too highly. Along the way, someone else is better than you in certain things.

Third: Don't be too shocked when you find yourself stumbling and committing a shameful or embarrassing mistake. Tao ka lang. Not even the religious are exempt here. Take note: Not even the saints. If you read the lives of the saints, you will be shocked. There were womanizers, drug addicts, murderers, and prostitutes there. As Peter Kreeft once put it, "What are saints but sinners saved?" Given the right set of circumstances, you and I are capable of anything. Think of any heinous crime you consider you are incapable of: terrorist, mass murderer, serial rapist, child abuser, economic plunderer... Don't be so sure, but you and I are equally capable had we been born in their milieu. For sure, we are not saying we are 100% evil, but that we can be weak enough to commit it or be pushed into it.

Obviously, nobody's perfect. Lahat ng taong nakasalamuha ko, may mga weakness yan. May mga tinatagong baho at sikreto yan. May mga masasama at pangit na ugali yan. May mga topak at toyo yan. May mga oras na may sumpong yan.

Sino dito ang walang topak paminsan-minsan? Perfect ka, teh? How to be you powhz?

***

Once upon a time, I generously gave away my trade secret--the writing tips I have compiled in life--to fellow employees, even though I know the only way to learn those is through the hard way: a series of writing exercises in which the learners are expected to fail at some of the lessons--and if only they choose the decision to really want to learn something or be better at it for a longish period of time.

Guess what happened. As expected, parang wala namang natutunan sa sinabi ko, haha. Ako ata yung lalong nahasa.

This only cemented my conviction that people are really slow. Give them a life lesson -- they might listen, but it doesn't mean they will absorb it and follow it even if they believe it.

2. The second thing I have observed about us humans is that... We are all liars. We lie all the time. To explain myself more fully, please read the essay of Stephanie Ericsson to save time.

Remember this: As they say, things are not always what they seem. That's because one of our hobbies as human beings is lying.

What is worse is when we lie to ourselves all the time.

But wait, there's more: The worst thing in being human is when we lie to ourselves fully convinced that we are being true to ourselves.

The worst to being human is being blind.

To be sure, we are all blind in various degrees. We are like horses with blinders. You don't believe me? Ever heard of the Johari window of self-awareness and interpersonal communication? The first window is all about the things only you know. The second window is about the things that you and other people know. The third window is about the things that you don't know but other people know. The fourth window is about the things that neither you nor other people know.

A variation on the Johari window is this circular diagram that I first encountered in a seminar called Landmark Forum. Basically, it rephrases the fourth Johari window as "the things you do not know that you do not know," and that blind spot is so huge.

The truth is, as a National Geographic ad says, "The more you know, the more you know you do not know." Meaning, the more we know, all the more that we become aware of the things we do not know.

Let us therefore be mindful of this special weakness. It goes by many names. The bandwagon effect. The supermarket display effect. There is what Frantz Fanon called cognitive dissonance. Then there is what we call Dunning-Kruger effect. (Go look it up.)

As a smart friend put it differently, "Lies that are repeated so many times become the truth to a lot of people, even if they've been debunked. Absent critical thinking, we fall into the trap of confirmation bias: kahit gaano kalakas o karami ang evidence na mali ang paniniwala mo, minsan hinding-hindi ka pa rin matitinag for some reason.

We are all prone to this particular bias.

Give opinionated people hard evidence that what they think of fondly as right is actually wrong, and they will still insist that they are right.

Kahit gaano ka katalino, puwede ka pa ring mabudol, at ang mas masama doon, puwede kang mabudol nang di mo nalalaman.

The worst-case scenario is when the blind leads the blind. In this case, we turn into lemmings. Lemmings heading to the same sinkhole of self-extinction.

Let us not be like blind lemmings. Or the mice being led by the Pied Piper of Hamelin to their own destruction.

3. NEVERTHELESS.... I love human beings and being human. That is because human beings are such complex creatures, and no two human beings are alike. Even twins can have divergent personal preferences.

There are things that apply to you but not to other people.

If I can't figure out a person I know, it drives me crazy. And that is because people are hard to figure out, and because I have a new challenge to deal with. It's important for me to figure out especially the crazy people around me, so that I could understand them better, deal with themselves better, and forgive them for their foibles more easily. ...Just as it is important for me to figure out my own self why I am reacting that way towards them.

4. Nonetheless, I love human beings and humanity in general because despite humans being human, God chose to love us, God chose to share a spark of His divinity to us. As you might have guessed, it is none other than Christianity that taught me this. If God didn't give up on humans, why should we? Sino ba ang gumawa sa atin? Who created us in the first place? Who willed us into existence?

"We are wonderfully and fearfully made," the Good Book puts it beautifully. I don't believe God would go out of His way to do that only to destroy us in the end.

We often hear the dismissive expression, Tao ka lang. On some level, this is, of course, true. It is realistic. It is a humble, meaning truthful, view.

But this is not a complete view of being human.

Oo tao ka lang, pero remember, tao ka, hindi ka hayup, at lalong hindi ka bagay.

Be human, do not be an animal or an object. Better yet, better than being human is being humane. As a great Dominican homilist put it like an ever-petulant grandpa, "Oo, tao ka lang, pero naman, magpakatao ka!"

Yan ang challenge ko sa inyong lahat. I don't expect you to become better human beings right away after listening to me, after giving me a chance to share these things with you. You will need to figure out all of these things for yourself at your own sweet pace. But I will expect you to be fully human and always try to be humane while at it. Because that is what education is all about to me. Not just to replace an empty mind with an open one (a quote attributed to Alexander Pope), but also to become fully human and fully alive (a quote attributed to St. Ireneus), to live who you are meant to be.

By the way, in life, learning never stops. Hanggang ngayon, estudyante pa rin ako. Estudyante ng buhay sa AUCL.

Learn from people older than you, younger than you, folks different from you. Don't be dismissive of senior citizens, PWDs, housewives, people with low socioeconomic status. And don't get too intimidated by people in higher echelons of power. Tao din lang ang mga 'yan.

Question everything. Don't believe everything you hear, including this, of course.

Again, as I have said, most people only learn when they go through a lesson in a difficult way. Different folks have different strokes or learning preferences. Find your own inclination.

***

Lastly, always be thankful of what you have accomplished, but only because your own efforts were borne on the tremendous contribution of other people, and each of these little things transpired at all through God's grace.

I hope nabudol ko kayong lahat sa araw na ito.

posted by Resty Odon  # 3:03 AM